Yesterday I went to college, even though my foot is still sore. It's getting better now though, thankfully. I think it'll take about another week or so to fully heal. At least the bruising is going.
The morning was spent being very frustrated and bored, since Ed was going around everyone individually advising them on the next route of action. He didn't get to me till last. I ended up sitting there from about 12 till 12:20 talking about my project and the fact that i'm so confused about what research I'll have to do for it. Ed is never really much help. Pam is, but she's only in of an afternoon.
Claire came to our class some time after break. We were all standing outside our class talking to her and each other. What I notice is that people like Fisher are very tactile with her. I wish I could do that. I don't know how to be the type of person who just puts their arm around someone if they're a friend. In other words, I could never put my arm around Claire as a friendly gesture. I just don't know how to. It annoys me. I annoy me. Because I know that if I did do it, maybe it would be one way to increase the chances of her liking me as more than just a friend. I doubt that's ever going to happen of course. I don't think i'm her type, nor would I ever be.
But then, i'm usually no one's type really. I'm always the 'really nice guy but let's stay friends'. I've said it before, but it frustrates the hell out of me sometimes. It's nice being friends, yes, but when you want to be so much more than that, it's frustrating.
So, after twenty minutes of partial help at 12pm from Ed, I was going to go the AJ's to meet the rest of the group, but I decided against it, as I didn't feel like putting any more pressure on my foot than I had to and I went the library instead to do some research on Neville Brody who is a very good typographer and all round designer. I like his work a lot. I spent time reading through his book, picking out things that I liked and then scanned them all in. Also, I scanned an illustration in by Escher. If you don't know who that is, you would do if you seen some of his stuff. It's quite well known.
When I tried to save it to my folder on the network it kept saying that the disk was full. This was strange, as the network is for the entire college and has tons of space on it. I was really confused and I had no option but to wait for the technician to come back to the library to take a look. In the meantime I continued scanning and saved the files on the desktop, rather than on the server.
Jamie appeared after a while, and told me that they'd been waiting for me at the AJ's. I said I'd been in here the whole time.
He worked next to me on a computer and I noticed that he was working on a page of different fonts with his company name on that he was using for his project. I also noticed that he was using exactly the same fonts that I had been working on earlier. He had used the same file for his work that I had created, giving him an easy ride. That annoyed me really. I don't like it when people copy. I didn't say anything, but it did annoy me.
At about 2pm, the technician came to look and he said that the network was indeed full and that I couldn't save anything to it so I ended up going back to lesson empty handed.
Pam came to help us out at about 2:30pm, although not me personally. I was having trouble with stupid spidergrams and not knowing what I was supposed to write for them. I came up with a few, but they look so small and crap.
I then began work on editing my proposal for the brief, since Ed had sent them all off and the examiner had said they all needed work. The problem is that we're only allowed to have so many words per section. The second which needed editing has a maximum of 50 words and I was already at that. So it's pretty damn hard to add to it when you're not allowed to add any words! In the end, I managed to modify existing sentences and then I asked Pam to come take a look at it. She said that it looked fine and that any research I needed I could just work round it somehow. She said go take pictures of shop fronts and that can be first hand research if I liked. Sounds easy enough.
I made my way home shortly after 4pm, stopping off at the arts & crafts store to pick up some coloured card and then onto a stationary shop to buy some scissors and felt tips.
I came online and after a while, to my surprise, Michelle came online.
[18:57:10] neil.sad: Hey, what happened?!
[18:57:57] Bla bla bla!: im sorry
[18:58:04] neil.sad: What happened?
[18:58:20] neil.sad: I called and called you and then you didn't show. I was really disappointed.
[18:59:17] Bla bla bla!: well if im totally honest i didnt wake till late. i had two v. late nights fri and sat dont hate me im sorry.
[19:00:11] neil.sad: Sorry but I was really pissed off cos it's one thing to not turn up but you weren't answering your calls either so it was really hard for me to decide whether I should go or not and I went just so you wouldn't be stood up but instead you did it to me again :(
[19:01:21] Bla bla bla!: i no
[19:01:40] Bla bla bla!: well im sorry thats all i can say i no i did wrong so . im sorry
I was happy that she apologised at least. I said I still wanted to talk to her and she said ok and then said goodbye.
A while later, I was talking to Mairead and I was very exicted about the fact that I was supposed to be meeting her in less than 24 hours.
[18:14:38] neil.sad: You still up for meeting tomorrow?
[18:16:06] Who's Sally?: i dunno my mate stuart from ages ago got in touch with me b4 he moved away years ago and is up in liverpool tomorrow so he wants to see me he is only up for tomorrow thou but if you want me to meet you instead i will
[18:17:12] neil.sad: I really want to meet you so so soo much tomorrow because we've already not met twice. But he's your friend. And I'd never want to keep you from your friends. So I guess meet him if you want.
[18:17:35] Who's Sally?: i dunno i feel sly on you
[18:18:11] neil.sad: If he's only up for one day and you're not gonna see him for ages then I guess he's more important than I am.
And so once again disappointment struck. That's all I seem to have lately. Disappointment after disappointment. And it gets to me.
So, after finding out that I would no longer be meeting Mairead, I went to do some work on my project, using the colour card to create my logo in various colours. I think they look quite good. Have a look. The name of my company is going to be Ignite Design. It's going to be a graphic design company and my aim it design a logo for it, a business card, letter head, envelope and corporate manual (which is like an instruction book on how to use the logo). I was pleased with the outcome of them. The 'true' colour of the logo will be a colour similar to the top left one.
And then we come to today.
I didn't have any plans to go to college today. To be honest, I don't think I have any plans to go to college on a Tuesday ever again. No reason to really. Instead, I woke up around 2pm.
As I was talking to people online I suddenly had a brainwave for the business cards and letterheards I need as examples. Ask my contact list! I have no idea why I didn't think of this before. I asked one or two people to see if they could help me out and I also asked my mum to see if she knew anyone who works in a business where they would be likely to have them. Unfortunately there was no luck on the contact list side of things, but my mum was intent on helping me out with this which I was very appreciative of. I explained to her what I needed and she said she'd have a think.
Around 6:50pm, Mairead came online and I asked her how things went meeting her friend.
[18:53:11] Help required: Message for details.: Did you meet your friend?
[18:53:18] Who's Sally?: yeah jus got back b4
[18:53:23] Help required: Message for details.: Have fun? :)
[18:53:57] Who's Sally?: yeah it was great long time no see he wants to come back he sed he misses me!!!
[18:54:52] Help required: Message for details.: What did you's do together?
[18:55:00] Who's Sally?: lol erm...
[18:55:39] Help required: Message for details.: erm? Come on, you gotta remember!
[18:55:52] Who's Sally?: i do remember!!!!
[18:56:03] Help required: Message for details.: What did you's do together then lol
[18:56:11] Who's Sally?: erm...
[18:56:19] Help required: Message for details.: ??
[18:56:25] Who's Sally?: lol
[18:57:06] Who's Sally?: we erm.... u kno
[18:57:15] Help required: Message for details.: ...ah
[18:57:34] Help required: Message for details.: Well now i'm jealous
[18:57:51] Who's Sally?: lol we were always close
And once again, the knife gets twisted.
I just think to myself that if I hadn't told her to meet him instead of me then maybe I would of got the chance to be more than friends with her instead. I wouldn't be surprised if we never end up meeting really. Probably always be something coming up.
I just want to meet up with her and if things went well then maybe kiss her or something. Hearing her tell me that she ended up shagging him made me jealous and sad.
She doesn't know when she is next free.
On a more optimistic note, someone on my contact list inquired what I needed help with and I told her. She was more than willing to help! Her name is Amy. I thanked her a lot and she said she'd be able to get two or three different ones and get them sent to me no trouble at all! I was very very pleased with that. The more examples the better. I'm looking forward to them arriving.
Tomorrow, I have an appointment at a medical centre for an examination. I have to attend one every year. It's for my income support claim. Last year when I attended one, they went against my claim for it and it took six months to overturn them. I don't want that to happen again.
You can see the scorecard they gave me here. The ones in green are the ones I think I should of gotten then, and indeed I think I should get now. I don't think they're going to give me them though, just like last time.
I now have a mobile phone. I've never had one before. Technically, it's my mum's, but she said she prefers her old one to this new one so she said I could have it as mine. I did have thoughts about posting the number here so any of you could text me or something, but of course, there are a few who would use it for other purposes. I'll give it to those who I can trust though. Feel free to text me once I've given you my number.
I think William Hill would give good bets on me remaining single for a good few months. How long do you think it will be before a girl comes into my life that isn't fleeting do you think? In other words, how long do you think it will take before I have a girlfriend? Give me your guesses.
