On Thursday night, I spoke to Dave online. I was talking to him about me being unsure whether I should come back to Liverpool for the night so I could go out with everyone because I had so much work that needed to be done. I really wanted to though and in the end, decided that I would.
As much as I like having Kerry, Cat and everyone else as a friend in Chester, it still doesn't feel like I've been able to socialise that much with anyone and so the only way I know how to currently is to go back to the people who I'm comfortable around; My friends in Liverpool.
The next day, I woke early and set about packing up a few things and left Chester around 2pm, getting home at about 3:30pm. On the way, I decided to text Hannah. I couldn't resist. I shouldn't have really, considering I haven't heard from her for over three weeks and she has shown little effort in wanting to keep things going but I just couldn't help myself.
"Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. Are you ok?", I said to her in a text. She text me back on her Mum's phone, saying she had had no credit and yes, she was fine. I told her I was going out and she was welcome to come with me, but she said she was in work until 1am. I told her to keep in touch...whatever that's worth.
When I did get home, my Mum was in the living room and I said hi to her before going to bed for a few hours because I hadn't had that much sleep the night before and I didn't want to be tired if I was going out.
When I awoke, it was about 5:30pm. I got ready to go out, said goodbye to my Mum and made my way into town. I was tempted to go into Pizza Hut and see her, but I decided against it. Instead, I went for something to eat in Burger King before I went up to the pub. On my way there I met Chris, someone who I haven't seen for years. We used to go to secondary school together and he was one of the few people who I did actually talk to throughout my years there. It was quite nice seeing him again. I hadn't seen him for at least a year or two and even then, it was only for a minute or two when getting off the train.
We spoke for about 10 minutes and I asked him what he was doing. He's some sort of IT guy for a law firm. Apparantly he's going to Canada next week, all expenses paid to meet one of his bosses. Very nice. I told him I was in Chester Uni. "Wow, taking it all the way aren't you?", he said to me. I certainly am. We parted ways a few minutes later with a handshake and then I went to get something to eat after which I headed up to the pub.
Jamie and Dave were up there but no one else. Jamie looked pretty pissed already. Ever since Danielle broke up with him, his whole facial expression has changed. It's sad to see and worse that there isn't much anyone can do about it. Worse still I suppose is the fact that Danielle arrived a little while later. Via texts a few days ago, she had said that things between her and Jamie were much better these days, but when she did turn up with her new boyfriend, Jamie looked almost ill with jealousy. I've never really seen Jamie so quiet and misplaced. Every could see it, just that no one really knew what to do and so we carried on trying to have a good night out with each other.
More people turned up a little while later; Tori, Rob, Liam to name three. I love it when everyone comes out. There's lots of different conversations going out and while everyone is friendly to each other, people form into smaller groups and swap about throughout the night. It's fun. Not tonight though, because it was about to get much worse.
Around 8:40pm or so, Jamie, Patrick, Dave, Stan and Mandy (the last two I haven't seen for months!) went to play darts on the other side of the pub. Those that were still sitting down felt like the group had suddenly split in two and that everyone over by the darts was seperating themselves. This wasn't good. I went over to them to see what was happening.
Jamie was still fizzling with anger/jealousy/sadness. He was also drunk, throwing the darts at the board as hard as he could and missing it completely, but the darts getting stuck in the wall anyway. You could tell he didn't really care about anything at that moment.
Rob came over after a while and explained to us (and perhaps Jamie in particular, though he didn't make it known) that he and everyone else who was sitting down was feeling like everyone who was playing darts was seperating themselves from everyone else and it didn't fell nice. He was right, it didn't feel nice. Dave tried to explain that they'd all be back over in a few minutes after they'd stopped playing, but that was more of an excuse to continue playing more than anything. Dave knew that Jamie was feeling shit and didn't want to be around Danielle and her new boyfriend.
At about 9pm, Danielle came over to me and said that she was going to go. I told her it was a shame she was going so early, but she insisted that she needed to. I asked why and she said that she didn't want to be in the same place as Mandy was. Again, I asked why and Danielle told me that Mandy had sent her an email saying things like how much of a slag she was and basically talking utter shit, but Danielle unfortunately takes all of it quite seriously instead of ignoring Mandy, who has always been a bit of a sensationalist. So, she hugged me goodbye, along with Dave. She did not hug or say goodbye to Jamie, even though he was right there. This is where the night all went a bit shit.
Ten minutes after Danielle had gone, Jamie walked out of the pub. I assumed it was to either use his phone or to have a smoke (unfortunately a habit that he's still keeping up with). Instead, he kept on walking.
"Where the hell's he going?", I said to Dave and we all looked out of the window, confused. Dave ran after him, I followed.
We caught up to him and he leant against a wall, trying to light a cigarette. The lighter wouldn't work though and he just kept trying, getting more frustrated each time. It was like one of those scenes out of a movie where you only have to look at their eyes to know how frustrated and upset they must be feeling. Dave helped him out with the lighter and Jamie took a few heavy drags on the cigarette as both Dave and I tried to get to the bottom of why he was even out there in the first place. He didn't really answer. Instead, two minutes later, he announced "I'm gonna follow them" and suddenly went through the space between me and Dave and started walking.
"Jamie you can't do that!", I said to him as he began to walk with intent down the street.
"They won't see me", he said, still pissed, I might add.
"Jamie!", Dave said, "What's that gonna do?"
"I dunno"
We were careful not to start 'handling' him and stopping him from walking, but both me and Dave attempted to sort of walk backwards in front of him, trying to get him to stop. Eventually, we managed to get him to do so.
"It's not going to do anything Jamie", I said, and Dave said things of a similar nature.
"I just want her", he said and broke down in tears. Dave put his arms around him and I put my hand on his back. This is not the Jamie we have all grown to know.
He mumbled a few things as he sobbed on Dave's shoulder. I felt pretty confident we'd got things under control at that point and we began slowly walking back to the pub.
"I'm gonna follow them", he said again and attempted to once more turn around and go after them. This time, both Dave and I forcefully stopped him from doing so, pulling him onwards and back to the pub.
"You can't run after them", I said
"Why not!"
"You just can't. It's totally wrong."
"Jamie", Dave said, "We all know what you're going through. We've all had to go through it."
"No you haven't!", Jamie replied, "I'm the only one out of everyone who has been in a relationship for four fucking years. Everyone else has been in one for a year or a few months. No one knows how I feel."
"Yeah we do", I said, "You can't measure love by duration"
"Jamie, we've all been hurt, it doesn't matter how long the relationship was", Dave said.
"No one understands!"
"We do Jamie, honestly", I said.
Eventually, we managed to pull him back to the pub and I kept an eye on him as he headed for the toilets, making sure he didn't suddenly dart out of the pub again. Dave went in the toilets with him and talked to him in there.
This was turning out to be one hell of a bad night.
Everyone else was sat, still trying to have a good time while all of this was going on. As I said, we all knew, just that it's hard for anyone to do anything. The next ten minutes were spent chatting with everyone though and trying to get things back to some sort of sanity.
Ten minutes later out of the corner of my eye, I see Jamie darting out of the toilets, out of the fire escape door and running off into the night to follow Danielle again.
"Shit", I said.
Dave darted out of the toilets a few seconds later and then I darted out of the pub as well. This time, there was no chance I was going to catch up to them. Jamie was literally running as fast as he could down the street and Dave was trying to catch up. I couldn't and stopped and headed back to the pub.
It was at this point that I thought the best idea would be to call Danielle and warn her that Jamie was now running down the street attempting to follow her and no doubt wanting to hit her new boyfriend. I stayed on the phone with her for about three minutes and she explained that she was already on the bus home anyway but thanked me for telling her.
Rob appeared soon after. He had gone chasing Jamie and Dave too and was now on the phone to Dave. He said the two of them were on their way back and that Dave wanted to speak to me because I'd called Danielle.
Back inside the pub, everyone was now well aware of what was happening and it was ruining everyone's night, including a guy who Tori works with who she had brought along.
"I'm sorry", she said to him, "This usually doesn't happen! I'm so sorry"
Dave and Jamie arrived back at the pub and Jamie went to sit down with everyone while I went to go and speak with Dave outside.
"I'll talk to you first because you're less likely to kick off", he said to me, "But did you call Danielle?"
"Yeah I did, because I felt like she had a right to know if Jamie's on his way to follow her"
"But you shouldn't have done that"
"Why not? If he's chasing after her and that guy, then I think she has every right to know and be warned about it"
I think he knew I was right really because he didn't really press the issue. Soon after, Tori came to talk to Dave too about the same thing on the other side of the pub. Tori had called Danielle as well. Unlike me, Tori felt quite offended at what Dave was saying and so each of them had a go at each other while I stood there with them.
"Please don't do this", I told them both, hugging each of them.
They weren't really angry at each other, just at the situation. Dave tried his best to 'stick up' for Jamie, but me and Tori tried to explain to him that he was totally out of order running after Danielle and he had been a bit crap all night.
Tori left and went back over to the group. Liam joined the discussion with me and Dave soon after. Liam too agreed that Jamie was being an arse and pretty much everyone else agreed as well.
We all went back to sit down after that and for the most part, the night resumed as normal but everyone felt a little dejected. The idea had been to get drunk and go somewhere after the pub but I didn't really feel like doing that now after what had happened. I had actually had a fair amount to drink too, but wasn't in the slightest bit drunk.
Tori and Andy left after a while with Tori saying she had had enough of it all and just wanted to go somewhere where she didn't have to listen to it all.
Closing time came and we all headed down into town. Of those who were still out, they decided to all go the Krazy House. I was going to, but changed my mind and instead, went home. I just wasn't up for it.
So, all in all, a pretty weird night and one that I don't really want to be repeated.
The next day, I reluctantly headed back to Chester after spending an hour or so talking to my Nan. By the time I got back, I was pretty damn tired and went to sleep for a bit. The idea was to do some work when I got in, but that didn't happen. Instead, I managed to get it all done on yesterday on Sunday.
Today has been a fairly easy and enjoyable day. My Type as Expression lesson was very straight forward and Alicia was looking as hot as ever. She had also somehow managed to forget her glasses and she looks so hot without them as she does with them. How you can actually forget your glasses though, I have no idea. I'd be blind without mine.
We finished the lesson an hour early and since I had an hour to kill before my History of Design lesson, I asked Tom if he wanted a few games of pool. I also invited Alicia. Ok, so she's not single and totally off limits, but no harm in still making an effort, right? Besides, she's a friend too.
On the way to the pool table, I met Cat. I invited her along too, but she declined. At the time, I didn't remember, but I definitely should have asked her about how things are with her and Kerry. She asked if I was going out tonight and I said maybe, but maybe usually means no.
After Alicia had lost to Tom, she went, leaving me and Tom to play some serious pool. Unfortunately, he is still stretching his lead and we're now at 44-29! I can't believe he's going to hit 50 soon.
My history of design lesson proved very useful, but not really for educational reasons. The lesson itself was basically onhow to structure an essay properly and also a small excersize on who should buy the ITV channel. It was a choice between Rupert Murdoch and Richard Branson and we had to come up with reasons for and against the two of them in groups.
After the lesson while walking out, I spoke to Jay, one of the guys in the class to see if he had done any work for the workbook. He said not really. None of us have really and it's supposed to be being handed in on Thursday. It's optional, but I don't think anyone's going to take the offer up simple because no one is going to have any work to hand in in the first place!
As I carried on walking after saying goodbye to Jay, one of the girls in the class crossed the road with me and just started talking to me.
"You're helpful on the discussion boards don't you", she said.
I smiled. "Thanks. Yeah, I'm always on there"
"You sound really intelligent too"
"I sound intelligent?", I said, laughing.
"Yeah and you always use words I don't know like 'peripherals'"
Again, I laughed. "It just means things you connect to your PC, like a mouse or keyboard"
"And you always have great spelling"
It felt quite nice to be appreciated.
We carried on walking the same way and found that both of us live in town. Not in the same place, but town nonetheless.
"Yay, I have someone to walk home with on a Mondays now", she said, "And you're a guy"
"Ha, if some bad guy came up to us I'd throw you at them and run the other way and squeal like a little girl! I'm not sticking around", I said, joking.
On the way, we talked about the generic stuff you talk about when talking with someone for the first time. "Where are you from?", "What do you think of x, y and z about the course" etc. She also noted that she thought I was quite willing to get up and talk in front of the class which actually, I am. I almost feel sick five seconds before I do it and I feel nervous as hell all the way through what I may have to say, but there is definitely a part of me that enjoys talking in front of people and, I think I do it better than most. Most people mumble, I raise my voice and make sure I'm heard.
I said goodbye to her at the end of a street as she was going one way and I was going the next. It felt quite nice to have found a new person to talk to. Her name is Francesca.
Once home, I spent two hours doing some work for tomorrow and from now on, that's going to be my rule. Work from at least 6pm until 8pm every night. It's only two hours, but it's better than what I've been doing. I managed to get a few drawings done to add to my portfolio.
Cat text me, asking me if I was going out. I had completely forgotten. I text back saying no, but that I hoped she had fun.
That's all of my news so far this week.
