Yesterday was a very strange day and it started off with the aforementioned fire drill at 6:20am.
My first lesson of the morning was Introduction to Graphic Design which was pretty boring and coupled with the fact that I was very tired and had a headache, I just didn't want to be there. The same was true of the next lesson, Introduction to Digital Technology.
Me, Tom and Alicia got to know each other a little better by 'bonding' more, talking in the cafe after the first lesson and in the second lesson, reviewing other people's work. As I've said in the past, I really fancy Alicia and didn't know if she had a boyfriend or not.
To further show my interest in Alicia, I invited her to come and play pool with me and Tom and she said sure. Just before we did, we went with Tom while he ate in the dining room and while he was getting food, it was there that I found out she did unfortunately have a boyfriend. She spoke to him on the phone. I was quite disappointed.
After Tom had ate, we went to play pool. Me and Tom played first while Alicia watched. I won. Then I played Alicia. I won. I have to admit it was kind of hot seeing her bend over the table ready to take her shot.
After I'd played her, she had to go and so me and Tom had a further four games. I won three. The score between us is now 21-19 - The closest it's ever been so far! I finally have the chance to overtake him and could do it in the next three games!
I went to the computer room around 2:30pm after we'd played pool to kill some time before I had to go and meet Debra for my PAT (Personal Academic Tutor) meeting. While just generally browsing the net, Claire text me.
"Hey, I know it's short notice, but do you fancy going the pics tonight?"
That is quite possibly the first time anyone has ever asked me out. It made me feel quite good!
I text back saying sure and we sorted out a time, place and film. It's quite weird to suddenly having a date without having to do any work at all to get one.
At 3:40pm, I went to Debra's office. She asked how I was finding the course and I said I was enjoying it. She also talked to me about the discussion boards.
"I see you have been the voice of reason on the discussion boards", she said to me.
"Ah, yes", I said.
"We've been reading it and keeping an eye on it. How do you feel about what's been said?", referring to how one guy in particular had been trying his best to insult/belittle me because I was using one too many big words for him. Basically, he was being an idiot and getting frustrated that I wouldn't come down to his level.
"Meh", I replied, "Doesn't bother me at all, I'm used to it"
"You're used to it?", she said, laughing, "You mean it's happened before?"
"Ah, I've been a total Internet geek for the last six years and been on many boards. Stuff like that doesn't bother me", I said. Especially when I'm right, anyway.
"Oh ok, well as long as you are ok with it. I wanted to make sure."
"Yeah, it's fine"
I explained to her how I think that many of the people who post on the boards probably don't even realise or remember that all staff can view those boards as well which is why I've always tried my best to remain calm, civil, helpful and never ever insulting. I was happy that she had recognised that I was indeed the voice of reason by being far more mature than the guy trying to insult me.
Things like that may not earn me better grades, but I know it'll earn me respect amongst my tutors and that's almost more important.
"And how is everything else? Any problems?", she asked.
"Everything's going well with the course. No course specific problems. The only problem I have is my accommodation", and I told her why.
"Sounds awful"
"Yeah"
We also discussed me being a little more technologically minded than a lot of the others and thankfully, she knew this and said I was free to press on at my own pace. I knew that anyway though. Still, it's nice that I have actually been recognised already has someone who is more advanced than others. It was one of my aims when coming to University to make it known so that I wouldn't be treated like I'd only just opened up Photoshop for the first time.
Again, this type of understanding between me and my tutors will serve me well in the future.
I have tried hard since being here to establish a good line of communication between them, simply by doing the easiest of things. For example, actually saying hello to them when I enter a room and saying goodbye to them when I leave. It may sound like the most obvious thing to do, but no one else does it and I know that because I do, my voice, my face and my name will stand out both conciously and subconciously in my tutor's minds. And when it comes to asking for references for example for a job I may need one for, I know that there's a far better chance of them writing a shining letter about me if I treat them like a friend, rather than a tutor.
After my meeting with her, I headed home to get ready to go and meet Claire. My plans before she had text me were to sit in the library all night online and it was nice to have something different to do.
I text my Mum, asking her if she was still living in Kirkby. She said yes. I said that I'd be home later that night for the night, the main reason being so I could pick up some fresh bed linen.
At 6pm, I went to the station and caught my train into Liverpool. I met Claire at 7:30pm with open arms, giving her a cuddle and a kiss.
From there, we headed to the cinema to watch The Departed, which looked like a great film with an amazing cast. Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen and Ray Winstone to name but a few. The film was very very good. As we went in, the guy who took our tickets said my t-shirt was awesome. And it is! It's of John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson from Pulp Fiction, stylised to look as cute as possible...but with guns.
In the cinema along with us was her friend who was also on a date with a guy. They were sitting a few rows down from us. While her friend's date went for a smoke, her friend came up to talk to Claire and me for a bit and then went back to sit with her date a few minutes later.
Claire talks a lot. Not the nicest thing to say about someone you've been on a date with, but she does. I don't mind usually, since it makes up for me not talking much, but because she doesn't really pause that often, it's hard to switch the conversation to us and then in the brief moments of silence, lean in and give her a kiss. I can't do that with her.
Throughout the film, I had the same problem I had last time I met Claire. "How and when do I kiss her?", I thought. She's not like most girls I've dated, she doesn't give off any signs that she's actually interested in me as more than a friend, going so far as to turn away from me slightly because she was uncomfortable sitting the way she was. I know she didn't mean to make me feel like I might as well not be there intentionally, but when that kind of thing happens, there's just no right moments to actually lean in to kiss her.
The last time I met her, I thought it was my fault, because I am naturally completely nervous on first dates. I thought it was me who wasn't being affectionate enough and me who wasn't picking up the signs that she wanted me to kiss her. But this time, I realised it's definitely not my problem, it's hers. She doesn't do anything to make it known that she wants me to kiss her. Things like, as I said, sitting away from me, folding her arms (there goes holding her hand!), crossing her legs (there goes stroking them) and not once throughout the film looking over at me. I know this because I kept looking at her our of the corner of my eye to see if she was and if she had, I would have looked over at her too and that's the moment for a kiss.
I didn't kiss her once throughout the whole film, though I spent the whole film wanting to. There were just no oppurtunities to.
After the film, we walked back to the station together. I held her hand and she responded by holding mine and as she did that, I realised that maybe I should start being a bit more forward if I want to kiss her and then she'd respond. I have been wary of doing so, because she's already said she doesn't want anything serious and doesn't want anything other than just kissing. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. But, as I say, when I held her hand, she quickly responded and it's those little things that tell you a lot about how you need to be with someone to be with them!
Once at the station, her friend was already there with her date.
"Don't get on the train without me", her friend said to Claire, which basically meant that her friend would be joining the two of us on the train. I was disappointed. I thought maybe at the very least, I'd get to kiss her once we got off the train together and also just a bit more time on our own while on the train, but of course, not if her friend is going to join us. Her friend thought I was going back to Chester though and as Claire said to me, she probably wouldn't have joined us if she had known. She would have just left me and Claire alone.
Claire's friend is also called Claire, but for ease of reading, I'll just refer to her as Claire's friend.
While in the station with just each other (since Claire's friend was still saying goodbye to her date), I thought that this might be the perfect time to wrap my arms around her and maybe give her a kiss then, but she wanted to find somewhere to sit instead. Sitting is not good for giving someone a cuddle. Again, the moment was lost. It was pretty much lost altogether when Claire's friend arrived a few minutes later and then both she and Claire were quite happy to laugh and mess about on their own with me just sitting there looking a bit lost, I'm sure, especially when they were just laughing at random things, which one of them found funny simply because the other one did. I just felt like leaving them to it, really.
On the train it was pretty much the same. They joked and laughed with themselves while I sat next to Claire. They were more interested in each other than Claire was in me. Fair enough I guess, it was her best friend, but you know, if you're on a date (and afterall, it is only our second!), the last thing you should do (at least in my opinion) is not pay attention to the person you're with.
I couldn't quite think how else I was going to get the chance to kiss Claire before going home. I thought that the perfect time would be when I had to say goodbye to them when they walked out of the station. Maybe I could get a few minutes alone with her. But no, that didn't happen either.
"Oh, we'll wait with you while your cab comes", they both said. Obviously the nice and courteous thing to do, but I didn't want them to! I wanted to be able to say goodbye to Claire so I could finally bloody well kiss her! Instead, I had to wait 10 minutes for the cab to come while Claire and her friend continued to mess about and laugh with each other, pretty much ignoring me by this stage. I really would not have been any less happier if they'd just said goodbye and left me there on my own.
Once my cab did come, I gave Claire a hug and finally managed to kiss her. It was a cross between a peck and a proper kiss. She stumbled a little as she kissed me and then laughed and pulled away to say something. Of course that ruined any 'moment' that was left and I said goodbye to the both of them and went home.
A very very very disappointing date.
The night only got worse once I arrived home. Both my Mum and Gary were drunk, my Mum in particular. I don't like talking to her when she's drunk. She repeats herself and asks the same questions over and over again and when I'm very much sober, it's just not enjoyable to be around two people who are pissed.
She was standing on the stairs, shouting up to Gary as I walked in the door. She was also laughing at, well, nothing so I just said hello and then went into the kitchen to make myself a drink instead. I had hoped to spend an hour or so talking to her about how Uni is and whatever else, but that wasn't going to happen while she was drunk.
After making a drink, I sat in the living room. Gary was upstairs, kindly making my bed. "You don't have to do that", I said to him, when I went upstairs to say hello, "I would have done it", but he'd finished now and I thanked him.
The three of us sat in the living room and my Mum asked me about Uni. I gave her quick, short answers though. I would have gone into more detail if I knew she'd actually remember what I'd told her. Gary was drunk too, but much better to talk to.
After about an hour of sitting in the living room with them, the conversation turned to their furniture shop business and I was really bored by now so I said I was going to bed.
"Are we boring you?", Gary asked as I got up.
"Er", I said, thinking about which answer to give, "Not really". I lied.
I said goodnight to them and went to bed, knowing that I actually had a class the following day at University and planned on going to it. I knew that if I caught an early train back to Chester, I could still attend my 1pm lecture. It didn't end up happening though and I finally got out of bed at 2pm. It didn't matter too much, it's just an hour and it's only a lecture on the History of Design.
By the time I was awake, Gary had gone into work, but my Mum was still there. We spoke for a bit until she had to go to work too at 3pm. She asked if she'd see me later on or if I was going back to Chester but I wasn't really sure. I wanted to stay so that I could go and see my friends tomorrow in the pub, but I also needed to get back because I had lots of work to do and if I did go the pub, I'd be here until Saturday, when I have work due for Monday.
At 4:30pm, I headed back to Chester, a little reluctantly and by 6pm, I was back here, in Chester.
Of note is the text Alan sent me on the way back to Chester. I had asked him when did he say he is getting the net and who told him that. He said that he actually recieved a letter today saying that tomorrow, the technicians are coming to install it, but he doesn't know about me, since I live next door.
The fucking better install it here too. Unfortunately, upon checking, I have had no letter saying they will be. If not, I will be very very disappointed and angry.
Coming back to this room makes me depressed. It's just crap. I love my house. My home. It's so much better than here. I know Uni accommodation isn't exactly supposed to be a five star hotel, but it'd be nice if it was, well, nice. Just having net access would make me happier.
Tomorrow, I have no lessons, but I'm going to go to the Uni anyway and do some research for my History of Design lesson on Monday. I want to show Brian that I'm ahead of everyone else. Then, I'm going to come home and do work for Debra and get these stupid magazine covers out of the way. It's the last ten in black and white this week at least.
Hopefully, tomorrow will also be when I'll finally see Hannah. I am trying my utmost best not to get my hopes up. I'm trying to prepare myself for the "Sorry, I can't make it" text. But it'd be great if it does happen, I just have to try and not get too disappointed if it doesn't. A busy day indeed, tomorrow.
