I so didn't want to go to my Type as Expression class today. I was far too tired. I ended up getting to sleep last night at 4am and then woke up frequently. Not good. Regardless, I managed to go and keep my attendance at 100% so far.
The lesson was pretty boring. I'm quickly disliking it. Not so much because I dislike typography, but because it's getting so boring doing these magazine covers and also because Debra always seems quite harsh on some designs that the rest of us actually like. These problems make the lesson drag.
I'm definitely fancying Alicia more each time I see her. I love her voice. There's just something about it. And of course the fact that she's creative, ginger, wears glasses and is hot. Not that I can do a damn thing about it of course because I'm stupid.
One thing I've noticed however, is that in our small group of five (though it was four today), people do like me. If I say something, they listen. If I say something funny, they laugh. And if I do say something funny, it's my type of funny. My type of humour. I thought it was interesting and nice to be around those type of people.
At 3:45pm, I had to leave along with a few others to attend my first History of Design seminar at 4pm. It was in a building I've never been to before and off campus, around 15 minutes walk away. I hurried there as best I could but my calves ended up burning because I was walking too fast and I had to rest for a minute or two and 4pm came and went. After resting on a wall, I continued my search for it but again failed. It wasn't until 4:05pm that I found it. It's hidden away in a small building that almost looks like it could be a house.
Inside, there was a small room with a few people inside. I recognised one of the people from my course and I walked in. And who was taking the class? None other than Mr Ramblealot, Brian Griffiths from the other week! The guy who talked for 20 minutes straight in the lecture before telling us we didn't have a lecture. "This should be fun", I thought to myself.
Oh, and it was. You would not believe the amount of times I nearly burst out laughing. I could hardly contain it.
The best moment by far was at 4:45pm when he thought he'd rambled on so much that he'd ran out of time before he'd actually told us anything useful.
He looked at his watch and then, with the best shocked look I've seen in a while, blurted out "SHIT!" in his Welsh accent.
I know it doesn't sound as hilarious to you as it does while I'm typing this, but believe me, at that point, I had to laugh out loud. I couldn't contain it. It was one of the funniest things I've had the pleasure of being a part of.
The others looked at me with a kind of "What the hell are you finding so funny?" look. I didn't care. No, I didn't even notice really at first, I was too busy trying my utmost best to keep my laughter from exploding. Thankfully, I laughed out loud once, then, somehow, managed to just laugh with my hand over my mouth and looking down at my writing pad. It was easy to see I was still laughing, but it was just so damn funny. If any of the other teachers had said it, it wouldn't have been funny, but because it was Brian - the guy who we all now know as a rambler and who eats up amazing amounts of time - it was so fucking hilarious. He really thought he'd come to the end of the lesson because he'd be rambling so much.
Of course a few seconds later, he realised he still had another hour with us and carried on as normal, but I didn't stop laughing under my breath for a good three or four minutes. Comedy gold.
As I say, Brian rambles a lot and while he was talking, I managed to observe how and why he does it. He paraphrases everything.
He'll begin by telling you something (but add a comment about something related) and he'll keep talking (but not related directly) about that something until he comes full circle (still talking about the indirect something) and end up telling you (possibly) something you now already (may or may not) know because he has (or someone else has, such as another lecturer, but he doesn't know because he hasn't got that information and he is working with what he has) told you (but the indirect something now has nothing to do with the other something).
And if you think that last sentence was confusing, believe me, that's exactly how he talks.
It took him 90 minutes of the allotted two hours to tell us what we had to actually bring in for next week and it can be summed up in a sentence:
Bring 4 or 5 designers or art movements in that you'd feel comfortable writing an essay about.
That's it. That's all. One sentence is all he had to say, but it took him 90 minutes to get there. Believe me, I am not exaggerating. This man has a talent.
He also wanted to know what kind of skills people had at writing and if anyone has any problems, but that came later.
I asked him what exactly we had to bring in. I thought he meant bring in some images or text but all he wanted was an actual name or names. That's easy. So easy that I may bring in image and text just to show I'm one step ahead and get going earlier on this 1,500 word essay we have to write by January 22nd. 1,500 words is nothing. I can do that.
At 5:35pm and after two hours of this funny guy, the lesson was finally over. I stayed behind for a few moments to pack my stuff away and made some brief conversation with him just so he gets to know me better. I've done it with all the tutors. What's weird is that when conversing with someone directly, he's fine. He doesn't ramble at all. He just gives a straight answer and shuts up. It's very strange. Maybe he just gets really nervous when talking to a group of people and I can definitely sympathise with that! But this guy is the head of the art department, giving a seminar. Someone needs to tell him about the problem he has. But of course how do you tell someone something like that? Especially a tutor.
After the lesson, I exited the building and just as I was walking back to the Uni, spotted something moving behind a tree. I assumed it was a rat. I've seen more of them over the last few weeks than I have in the last few years! But, to my pleasant surprise, it was actually two squirrels! I was fascinated by how frozen they looked after seeing me. They were looking directly at me, but not moving a muscle. I reached inside my bag for my camera and the sound of the velcro tearing away from itself made one of them flinch slightly. After producing my camera, I moved around the tree to get a better view, and the squirrel moved further behind the tree, still peaking out at me. I moved again and it stood still, allowing me to take a photo. I wanted to get closer and closer and I started almost playing hide and seek with this one squirrel. I'd walk around the tree more and so would the squirrel to hide from me. It was fascinating. I managed to take a photo in the end before it scuttled off under a parked car and then into a bush.
I headed back to the Uni to use the library for the rest of the night. By now, it was 6pm. Monday is a long day in terms of classes. 1pm - 3:45pm and 4pm - 5:45pm.
I talked to Kerry, Cat and Zoe online. I flirted with Cat and Zoe, though I'm guessing they probably thought I was just having a laugh or, worse, thought I was a bit sad. I told Zoe that I thought she was hot, though not in such direct terms. I also asked Cat if she'd dress up in a sexy santa suit for me and she said "Well, it is the right time of year! Have you been a good boy?". I said yes, very good, and asked if she is santa, do I get to sit on her lap or does she sit on mine.
She said I could play with Rudolf. Bah! I asked if that was some strange sort of euphamism, but she ended up going before she read the message to do drinking downstairs with Zoe and Kerry, who was on her way to join them. All three invited me to join them, but I said that I was trying my best to keep an eye on my money at least for the next week or two. "Come on, it's only a fiver!", Kerry said to me. But �5 is �5. It's �5 that I can use to spend on food and supplies. Since being here, I have spent �60 per week on average. That's awful! Even at home and when I was going to college, I only spent �45 at most. I'm going to try my best to save a little money.
I also spoke to Jamie very briefly who said he was going to be going to the Krazy House on Haloween dressed as Batman. I said I might come but I wouldn't know what to come as. He suggested Robin!
From around 7-8:30pm, I decided to write a letter of complaint to Mark Shone, Senior Accommodation Officer. I wanted to register my disappointment and disgust at being given this accommodation. It reads as follows:
Hello Mark.My name is Neil Martin and I'm writing to complain about the appalling nature of the Bridge Street Row accommodation.
Upon arriving at number 47, I found that the kitchen had not been cleaned prior to students moving in, the bushes outside were overgrown and, to top it off, the place in general was infested with rats. I would also like to point out that the rats are still about. This is far from acceptable. In addition, these are only the problems that I found within the first day or two of being there.
It�s now been a month since I moved into the accommodation and though I�ve reported problems via the Estates helpdesk, it has taken over three weeks and me going in person to speak to them to make them start sorting out some of the problems including replacing light bulbs and fixing faulty taps. I also find it disappointing that there has been a light bulb in the passageway broken since I moved in and though I reported it on 29th September, it has yet to be fixed. I see no sign of level of service when I (and indeed my fellow housemates) have to wait weeks on end to get some simple problems fixed.
I would like to know if you have been to Bridge Street Row personally recently and if you feel that paying �64.40 weekly for it is justified when, for example, entering the kitchen, it�s not hard to miss the splatters of oil from cooking all over the walls from last year�s students and before, along with a fridge that is/was disgusting inside.
In my opinion, it feels like this accommodation has not been reviewed over the Summer and the points I have mentioned have not been taken under consideration. I would also like to point out that even the cleaners who come and attend to the accommodation think it is in an awful state.
On another note, you may remember speaking to me on the phone a few days prior to me moving into the accommodation. You stated that the accommodation is just 10 minutes walk from the campus. It is not. It is 25 minutes minimum. You also stated that Internet access would be available, but that it may take a few weeks to receive it. I would like to know the status of this.
In conclusion, I feel that I have been offered a very poor accommodation and for �64.40 a week, I, and those living with me deserve better. It feels like Bridge Street Row has been forgotten about.
Please carefully consider what I�ve said, as I am not the only one living here who feels this way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Sincerely,
Neil Martin
I intend to send it tomorrow.
The guy himself seemed nice enough both in person when I met him on the house hunting day and when I spoke to him on the phone regarding net access. However, I really don't think he's even visited this accommodation and seen for himself just how crap it is. I want him to. And I want him to walk the 25 minutes that I and everyone else living here has to walk to get to and from the Uni. It feels like all they're bothered about is getting my money.
Imagine if it was the other way around. Imagine if I offer shoddy work every time I project is due. Imagine if I left the class and the computers a mess after I'd been there. I would of course get spoken to very firmly and possibly thrown off the course. And rightly so. So why when I'm given shitty accommodation does it feel like it doesn't work both ways? You offer me shit accommodation, you fix it.
I spoke to Ahmid about the letter once I was home and also about my life. It's not that I talk hugely about myself, but simply that Ahmid ends up going off in all directions about different things. But I do love his metaphors sometimes.
He was talking about how girls never know what they want and even when they do, they go for the wrong guy. This was in relation to me saying how the likes of Cat and Kerry go for similar types of guys and certainly not me.
"You know Neil", he started, "It's glass and water. You put glass in front of girl and water in front of girl. You (meaning me) tell girl "that is glass, that is water", yes?", he said, turning away from me, "Oh no, I walk on this one", he said, imitating a girl, "This one is glass". "No, this one is water", he continued, "And she walk and she fall in. And then another guy comes along and tells them the same thing but they fancy them. "Oh ok I walk on this one"", again imitating a girl.
Crazy metaphor, but in some ways true. But it was such a crazy metaphor that I can't put it into my own words.
The best metaphor he's come out with is "The bus is full". This was a few days ago.
"There is a bus to Chester, bus to Liverpool. Lots of girls on board. All full!", he said, laughing. "No, sorry, no room Neil, you can't get on"
And again, that's true! There are very very few girls for me no matter where I go.
My other favourite metaphor he'd come out with "You have lots of soap bubbles in your life".
"So many chances Neil, so many girls, why none of them work?"
"I really don't know"
"You come so close every time and then what happens? Pop"
Awesome metaphor.
And one final point I'd like to talk about. Something I've noticed very recently is how girls seem much more inclined to talk to me when they are the ones doing the initiation. Two examples:
Hannah. I have not been in touch with her for over two weeks and she texts me asking have I forgotten about her and that she misses me. Claire. I haven't texted her for two days and she sends me a random text asking how I am. I am definitely going to follow this method from now on. I'm learning from these little instances that if I want a girl to have more interest in me, it seems best not to give her too much attention. I've always thought it was the opposite (give all the attention you can), but this way seems to be giving results, surprisingly. So, I'm going to try it more.
I think I'm a very observant person when it comes to human interaction. Ironically, I think it's because I've had very little compared to most people for many years. I think being quite alone for a long time has sanitised my view of a lot of things and it's why I feel I can paint a picture of someone quite quickly by stepping back from my own interactions with them and assessing them and my relationship with them, whether friend or girlfriend. I find it helps a lot to know how someone is going to act before they act.
Of course sometimes I'm totally wrong and it's these times I've been wrong that usually end up being the best times. The times when I completely misjudge someone and they turn out to be a much nicer person than I expected. And then there are the times I'm right and that girl who I might really fancy looks at me with no interest at all and just wants me as a friend. They are the worst times. They are the type of times I wish there were less of. Still, perhaps these good times will come in time.
And until then, all I have are soap bubbles.
Pop.
