Sundays are boring no matter where I'm living. I haven't done anything today, other than sit here and tie up some loose ends with my work. I'm glad that I managed to do what I needed to do last night.
I browsed through all of the photos I had taken of the fireworks. Some look great.
Ahmid is a weird man sometimes. Earlier, he called me into his room and asked me how the hoover works. But his question was not how to turn it on or off, but "Why is it sticking to the floor?".
"Uh, because it's a hoover? And hoovers suck?" I replied. I was confused. Obviously all hoovers are different and this one was quite old and bulky but come on, it's a hoover nonetheless. This guy is studying cardiovascular rehabilitation and yet he can't work out why a hoover sucks when against the floor? Am I missing something here?
Secondly, he wanted to know what the following sentence meant on a flyer for RBs:
"Free Q Jumper for all Beans card holders"
Take your time, I know it's a tough sentence to work out...or not.
"What does this mean? Q jumper", he asked.
"It means you can jump the queue", I said. He looked at me with a blank face.
"Queue. You know, you wait in line to go in?"
"But what if there is no queue?"
"...well then you don't have to wait of course?"
"Mhm"
Again, what am I missing?
Thirdly, he wanted to ask me about electric shavers because I use one. He asked me what the model number of mine is so I went and checked, though mine is at least five years old and probably isn't made anymore anyway. Then he shows me a piece of paper with about six different shaver model numbers on it. "Which one of these should I get?", he asked. No information on them, not even any pictures, just six model numbers. How the hell am I supposed to know any better than him going on just that?
"I can't tell you from that", I said.
Fourthly and perhaps most interestingly because he does have a point was his question about getting a drink at a bar in a club.
"How do I know what the bar has?", he asked. I thought about it for a moment and I knew that he'd come across the very same problem I and probably many other people have.
"You don't", I said, shrugging in agreement.
"There is no menu?"
"Nah, no menu"
"Because if there was a menu, that would mean people could see what they wanted to buy and would buy more, no?"
He definitely has a point.
"Yeah, I agree", I said, "But you just have to learn"
"Where do I go to find out?"
"You just have to learn with time, there is nowhere. You just have to look in the fridges behind the bar to see what's there."
"Ah", he said with disgust, "It's too busy at the bar to see". Again, he is right. It's the problem I usually have when wanting to try something different. If you don't know what you want before going to the bar and you can't see what's on offer, how on earth do you order a drink?
Fifthly, he asked me why they don't give reciepts in clubs.
"Reciepts?", I asked, "Why would you want one?"
"I don't know", he replied, "But in India they do"
"But it's just a drink. Why would you need a reciept for a drink?"
"I don't know"
Sixthly, he asked me about pubs, bars and clubs.
"What is the difference?", he asked. This is quite tough to put into words, especially when you're me, someone who isn't exactly fully versed in any of the three!
"Hmm", I said, "A pub is somewhere you'd go to sit and have a drink, whereas a bar is somewhere you'd go for...", I paused for a moment, thinking about what I was saying. I mean, you go to all three to have a drink, regardless.
He interrupted me, asking "For me, where do I go? Do I go to pub or bar? I know what a club is."
"Uh, you can go to either?"
"I know but where am I supposed to go?"
"Either?"
"Ok but what is the difference?"
"I guess a pub is somewhere you'd sit and a bar is somewhere you'd stand and a club is somewhere you'd go to dance"
"So I stand in a bar?"
"Well you can sit if you like. You can sit anywhere."
"But you are supposed to stand in a bar, right?"
"Er, not really. Do what you feel like."
I was not doing a good job at explaining.
That was the last of his questions for the time being.
As I have already said, he had the hoover in his room and I was happy about this because it meant I didn't have to carry this bulky giant thing up the three flights of stairs, but rather, just next door to my room. He said I could take it because he wasn't going to hoover yet because he needed to tidy up.
Oh, I also told him about what will happen on 5th November.
"Do you know what Guy Fawkes night is?", I asked.
"Fork?"
"Guy Fawkes"
"No"
And then I explained about why we set fireworks off and that he'd probably enjoy it. Thinking back, I think it would have been quite funny watching him burst into my room on 5th November, wondering why the hell the sky was alight with different colours.
After my chat with him, he went to the library and I went back to my room to hoover.
In other more (literally) shitty news, the toilet is blocked. Very blocked. Every time you flush it, it almost overflows. I tried my best to unblock it with the toilet brush, but it only made things smell disgusting and I couldn't even look at it. I was going to try scoop all the toilet paper out with my hand, but I have no gloves and there's no way in hell I'm doing it without a glove.
So, the other night, I put a sign on the door saying "BLOCKED TOILET DO NOT USE", because I know Ahmid would whether I told him about it or not. I knew he wouldn't if there was a printed sign saying don't. I also thought it'd be quite funny if I kept it hanging on the door even when the toilet is fixed so he has to go all the way to the bottom of the house to use the toilet and I just keep using the one on our floor all to myself.
But I'm not that nasty really.
So, I must inform the estates office about it. Of course, their track record so far in fixing any problems here is terrible. They have only just replaced a lightbulb in the hall that I reported three weeks ago and the faulty light in the passageway has yet to be fixed.
To my surprise, Zoe text me. I don't know whether to be pleased or scared that she has my number, yet I have never given it her. Since she lives with Cat though, I guess it must have been her who gave it her. She just needed to ask me what time the library opened tomorrow.
Danielle text me. Unfortunately, Danielle and Jamie have broken up and Danielle is now seeing someone else. I feel so bad for Jamie. They have been going out for a good four years or so and he loves her so much. I know that he will be feeling completely lost right now and even worse is that she and him are still friends. I know that's a good thing in theory, but come on, imagine seeing the one you still love regularly and not being able to hold them or kiss them. I'd hate it.
She said that he and her are still the best of friends but she just must not realise that "I want to still be friends" to most guys is almost worse than "I don't want to be friends". I text her back, saying it's only because he doesn't want to lose her completely.
She also said that she hasn't seen the group lately either because of course she will be spending more time with her new boyfriend. I told her to get in touch with everyone and meet up. I'm hoping they do because I wouldn't mind seeing everyone myself.
In other news, I have been giving some thought to changing the way I look as part of an experiment to see just how much more or less attention I get from people if I dress in a different way. I thought about growing my hair and dying it black and turning into an emo for a month just for fun to see what would happen. I even thought about turning into a complete chav too! I just think it'd be funny.
I have noticed that the likes of Kerry, Cat and indeed most of the girls I've met at Uni so far seem to go for exactly the same type of guy and it's usually an emo/indie guy. On one hand, I think "I want to be like that", yet on the other hand, I think "I am me", not them. I am different. I like being different. Unfortunately, no one else likes it. Everyone seems to want the generic emo boy.
Fuck generics. I like being geeky and I don't care if that hot girl would rather go for him than me (some of the time anyway). But it would be nice to be that guy once in a while. The guy who girls are talking about. For example, Kerry and Cat talk about a guy in the off license and say how he's so hot and how they'd love to get to know him better. I'd like that to be me for once.
I guess if I was being logical, I could say that, well, maybe there are girls who are talking about me and obviously I'm not going to know they are just like the guy in the off license doesn't know that Kerry and Cat were talking about him. Maybe I have a secret army of Neil fans. I can dream.
But I know I don't.
It's weird though, don't you think? I am intelligent, loving, give great oral, can fix your computer, know interesting facts (title!), design you a cool piece of artwork and I'm one of the most patient people you will ever meet.
And yet who do girls go for? Guy with dyed black hair who knows the lyrics to a few screamy songs.
You tell me how that's not messed up.
