The thing is, today, I manage to rack up an amazing �140 by betting that �20. Of course, every 'good' gambler puts the winnings back into betting and I did too. I ended up with �0.
I'm pathetic. I should not be wasting money like that.
My Mum hasn't text me back. I'm guessing she's probably annoyed at me. She knows that I wanted her to be there for me on Thursday but she doesn't think she should have been I guess.
Hannah is...well, Hannah.
My friends...haven't called me.
I'm pretty much alone except for those that I talk to online and even then that's not many people. And the likes of the girl I talked about in a previous entry is a definite no-go in terms of being anything more than her friend and even then, that's pushing it I think.
I'm supposed to be going to Hereford on Saturday. I doubt I will though. I'll probably just send Tori a card instead of giving it to her in person. And yet, it'd be nice to get out of the house. I don't know if I want to spend so much money though.
I don't have much to look forward to these days. The only thing that's off in the distance is going to University. But aside from that, I have no upcoming events. I don't have Hannah to look forward to meeting, I don't have any other dates for that matter, I don't have any nights out with my friends and until I do go to University, I'm now living in this house on my own. At least with Oogee here, it seemed a little more alive. I had a little bit of company. I didn't talk to him, but just being near him was enough to make me feel comforted. It's still hard getting used to the fact that I can't have that anymore.
It's so hard to predict what will happen months and weeks down the line. Even days. Who knew that I would be feeling this shit just two weeks ago.
I can still laugh, thankfully. If I come across a video or someone on TV, it gives me some brief amusement at least and it makes a change from the wallowing I've let myself fall into. I hope this phase of my life is over soon.
