I was going to start this entry with something perhaps a little less depressing, but I was talking to Larina (yes I still talk to her). She is sending me a card, but apparantly no one else from her contact list.

Neil says:
Why have you decided to send me one then? Not that I don't want you to, just wondering.
Larina - on the search for the elusive pen - http://sohmahouse.3.forumer.com - welcome to the madness!! says:
becuase you don't have anyone

And suddenly, I'm overcome with this horrible reality that she is unfortunately right. Seeing her actually say it made me stop for a moment and just feel like crying.

Santa asked me what I want for Christmas. I guess my answer would be what I always want for Christmas - Someone to love. Christmas is a really crap time of the year for me because although I have my friends, I need someone special in my life. Everyone around me seems to have it and if they don't, they don't really care that they don't. Christmas reinforces all of those feelings of festiveness and happiness and 'tis the season to be jolly blah blah blah. That's obviously a good thing. But when you don't have anyone around you to share all of that with, it really has the opposite effect.

I've tried really hard in the last few months to try and move away from wanting someone to love so much and try to concentrate on my friendships and college instead but even though I do feel I've succeeded a little, as I said, Christmas makes things worse. New year's eve too.

So, Santa, bring me someone to love this year and you can have as many mince pies as you wish.