After writing last night's entry, I went to the bathroom to dry my eyes. I stood there looking at the mirror, seeing my eyes red and with a face that did not look happy at all. I broke down into tears again.

I felt like really sobbing at that point. I couldn't do it in the bathroom though, as I knew it'd wake Laura up so I took my tears downstairs and curled up on the couch, crying. The feelings of emptiness were overwhelming.

It was around 20 minutes before I stopped crying and simply sat there, staring at the wall, thinking about just how lonely I am. Then I returned to my room, feeling a little better and I managed to take my mind off how I was feeling somehow.

I woke up today feeling much less worse than I had done the night before, but the fact that I had broken down made me feel...I don't know, worried? Scared? I don't know what word I'm looking for. Anxious maybe?

I had decided that I was going to go into town and get a refund on some jeans that I had bought a week or two ago to get out of the house. I went late, but managed to get what I needed, before returning to the station to go home.

While at the station, I met Mike who had just finished work. He looked very smart, as he was wearing a suit. It was really strange to see him wearing it, as I've only ever seen Mike in normal jeans and tshirt. We talked for a few minutes while he waited for his train. I asked if he was going out on Friday and he said probably. I know I will be.

He caught his train and I caught mine. And now I'm home.

I don't have many teary outbursts, so when I do, it's certainly a big deal. Most of the time I manage to keep it all inside me and let it simmer down on its own, but not last night. Last night, it was too much to take and the tears fell. Sadly, I know that it will probably happen again, before I find anything that resembles happiness.