The morning was spent doing some work in Premiere. Since I was absent last week, I had some catching up to do and yet it seemed as if I was completely at the same point as everyone else. I found that a little confusing. I asked Bronek if he had seen my animation of him. He said he said and that it was interesting...He didn't mind at all.
I spent lunch working away some more and by 1pm, I was pretty much up to date with any work that I had missed.
The afternoon's lesson with Tony was awfully boring. I just wanted to go home. However, I did finally get my mark back from him for my Biennial poster. I got a distinction which I was extremely surprised about and actually, I was disappointed. I was disappointed because he'd given me the highest mark possible and yet my work was an average attempt at best. I felt as if I should of gotten no more than a pass for the work I did for it.
To make things even worse, I then overheard that Sean too had recieved a distinction, which was an even bigger surprise. Infact, many in the class got either merits or distinctions for their work when really, none of us including me deserve it. I know I certainly don't because I know I'm capable of producing better and it disappointed me that such high marks were given out so freely. It makes me feel as if even if I do produce amazingly, high quality work, the best mark I'll recieve is a distinction, which is what I'm already getting for an average attempt. That's certainly not right. It almost makes me feel as if it's not worth trying my hardest because I'll get good marks even if I don't. Again, that's not right.
Thinking about it, I'd almost like to tell Tony to lower my mark and that I'm concerned that it's so high. I just feel that I can do a lot better, yet if I have no incentive to do so, then what's the point? My incentive should be to get distinctions in my work, but if I'm already getting them, what is there to aim for?
Of course, if I did say this to him, or any of my tutors, they'd think I was just being modest and dismiss my concerns. I'm being serious though. It's not that I think I'm modest about my work at all. I know when I produce something good and I know when I produce something amazing. My marks should reflect this and I don't think they do.
I spent most of Tony's lesson just sitting there wanting to gouge my eyes out and I was extremely thankful once 4pm came.
When I left, the rain was extremely heavy. I had no umbrella and no hood. It proved to be a rather wet journey back home. Once him, the first thing I did was to simply get undressed and get in bed for an hour or two because I was so bloody knackered.
I have so much work to do for college for all of my projects. The bulk of it is sketch work, which, while I don't hate, is very time consuming and I'd rather just get to work on everything on the computer, but I can't do that.
There's a girl who works in the Sainsbury's I go into every morning for a drink. I think she's gorgeous. I don't know her or anything like that, but I just like her and whenever I get served by her she's always really friendly and always genuinely happy to serve people. She looks about 22 I'd say, maybe a bit older. No idea really, but it'd be cool if I could find the words to actually you know, get to know her in such a brief encounter. Have a movie experience, where the lead guy says something or does something comical and she likes him for it and over time they form a relationship based on his 30 second transactions.
Yeah.
