On Thursday night, Dave called me but I wasn't by my phone to get it. I called him back to see what he wanted and he was asking if the party was still on. I told him that Stan and Jamie had said that they weren't up for it. Dave still was though and has always been and I decided to give it one last go and try and convince them that it was a good idea.
I called Jamie first, and while at first he said no, he came around to the idea, as did his friend Mike, though he said he'd only come if Stan was. That's who I called next and I convinced Stan to come as well, which meant the party was back on and I was excited and scared. We all agreed to meet in town and get food and drink together, since they'd now only given me less than 24 hours notice that they were actually coming, so I had no chance to go get it myself.
The next day, we all met and the first place we went was to get lots of alcohol, but since everyone had already bought stuff as well, it wasn't left down to me to buy everything. After that, we went to Tesco to get some food, but everything had sold out!
We went to Sainsburys instead but they didn't have much either. I resorted to buying two packs of waffles and then we waited outside the shop for Dave and Carl to arrive, which they did after about 10 minutes. Jamie said that Lauren, a girl he knows in his class was coming and that she'd be meeting up at about 5:30pm, but it was only 5pm. Soon after 5pm, Mandy arrived and we all waited for Lauren, but by around 5:45pm and after Jamie had called her, we knew she wasn't coming. I asked Carl if he thought I should get more food and we went back into Sainsburys to get four packs of six sausage rolls.
You should of seen the amount of bags, full of alcohol. It was mostly cans and a crate of Bacardi breezers. Dave had a bloody suitcase with him, with a sleeping bag in, and two crates of lager, along with a bag of party food.
We finally made it back to mine at around 7pm. My mum had already gone round to my nan's for the night to give me the house and Laura was out with Chris. It was almost surreal really, having all of my friends at my house. They've never been here before. I've never had a house full of friends before. It was strange.
I'd set the computer up in the living room just before I went to town and I turned up the volume and put some Faithless - Insomnia on, which was a good way to kick the party off. Everyone was standing in the kitchen just chatting and drinking. It was a really nice atmosphere. After a while, we went into the living room and basically just chilled and had a laugh. Since I have 3500 songs on my computer, it was easy for anyone to browse through them and put whatever they liked on. Jamie was insistent on me putting some porn on, so I did. His face was funny. It looked as if he was in a trance.
Oh, and just to recap, there were seven people at this point: Me, Dave, Stan, Jamie, Mike, Carl and Mandy. Quite a nice number to have sat around in the living room.
For the first hour or so, it was a little slow. Some people looked kind of bored and I was worried that soon everyone would feel the same way. However, by around 9pm, everyone was very much in the mood, having fun. I hadn't eaten all day and after just four or five Bacardi Breezers, I was feeling light headed so I opened up the sausage rolls and everyone got stuck into them, along with all of the crisps that had been bought as well as what Dave had brought.
Around 10pm, the first of a few bad things happened.
Carl basically wasn't feeling well and he threw up outside in the back garden. He still didn't feel so good even after throwing up though, so I told him that he could go lie down on my mum's bed for a bit. He looked really bad.
The rest of us continued having a good time. I have a camera full of pictures of us all as well, which I'll upload at some point.
Everyone seemed to make my home their home, which I was happy about. I didn't want everyone walking on eggshells. It was funny seeing people sitting at the top of the stairs, or in the hall, or in the bedrooms, just chatting away and having fun. The house was alive.
At around 9:30pm, Mandy's friend Laura arrived in her car and she got partying like the rest of us. After about 45 minutes though, she went again with Jamie and Stan because although at first, Danielle had said that she couldn't come because she had work, but apparantly she was feeling very left out so Laura went to get her and by 10pm they were back.
I decided that this was finally the best occasion to set off some four year old fireworks. There weren't many, but at midnight, that's what we did. Everyone was a bit drunk by now so the likes of Dave and Stan and Jamie were very entertained by them. Everyone shook each others hand or gave each other a hug and we celebrated the new year. It was great. I did check on Carl a few times, and told him when it was midnight, but he was too out of it. Jamie, Mike and Stan lit up a cigar each, which was strange, as none of them actually smoke. They said it was the thing to do on new years eve. Of course, I didn't. It stunk.
The second serious thing that happened was the fact Danielle couldn't get through to her parents at midnight to wish them a happy new year and this upset her, because apparantly she hadn't seen them all Christmas, due to working and she was feeling bad that she'd given up being with them to be here instead. Jamie was way, way too slow to pick up on Danielle's sadness. It was worrying. Everyone asked her now and then if she was ok, but she'd just said yes. I finally went up to Jamie and told him to go see what was up with her and after a while, it emerged that she wanted to go home. The problem was though, that Laura couldn't take her home now, as she had been drinking and no one else can drive. While a cab was an option, it was triple fare and midnight. Not the best solution. However, Danielle was in tears by now and Dave said that he could call his friend who works at a taxi firm to get one sooner. He also asked his friend how much it'd cost and he said at least �23. I decided to offer to pay it for her and she could pay me back whenever. She accepted and Dave ordered the taxi, which his friend said would be here in 10-15 minutes, rather than the 45 or so it would no doubt usually take if you don't happen to have taxi friends. However, after 10 minutes, Danielle decided to stay and Dave cancelled the cab.
A strange sort of joke had been going on throughout the night with Mandy and Jamie. Jamie for some reason wanted to know what colour underwear Mandy was wearing and he was insistent that it was white and she kept saying it was black. He asked her to show him, but of course, she said no. I don't know why it's such a big deal and why Mandy rises to his little things, but she did and apparantly she showed Stan and Stan confirmed they were black.
I passed Mandy on the way to the toilet around 12:30am and I asked her what that was all about, confused. She asked me if I wanted to see as well, in a joking sort of manner, so I said ok, and she did actually show me. Nothing 'rude' exactly, just what colour her knickers were basically. A cheap, but amusing thrill.
Lee, Stan's friend turned up around 1am. The house was now very much full of people having fun.
It was pretty much smooth sailing throughout the night. I was really tired and lay on my bed from about 2:30am onwards, while everyone else done whatever in the house. I was very worried what they were doing, but I was just so tired that I had to lay down. People came up to see where I was and tried to drag me back down, but for some reason, my legs were killing me. I have no idea why. I was finding it really hard to walk. My arms were aching too.
Around 3am, they decided to cook the waffles that I'd bought and everyone ate them. I was glad that I had bought them, since there wasn't much else to eat.
I went downstairs around 3:30am to see what was happening. Lee was still very awake, but everyone else was quite tired. People were sitting on the stairs, drifting off to sleep. Carl had been passed out on my mum's bed since 10pm. Stan was now collapsed on Laura's bed.
I wanted to go to bed myself, so I tried to make everyone do the same thing and got all of the spare covers and pillows out, hinting that they should go downstairs and get some sleep and finally they did. I followed for a bit, but came back up to finally get in bed. Again, I was quite worried what they'd do on their own, but I needed sleep and I feel asleep quite quickly. I woke up again though, around 4:30am. I could hear people talking by my stairs and I heard them ask each other if I was awake. I called out to them to say I was and Lee and Mandy came up. They were both quite sober really, but more than anything, I just wanted them to go away so I could sleep. Lee did for a while, but Mandy stayed and I didn't mind that, since it's not like I was being very talkative in bed, while she sat on the floor next to me.
Me and Mandy have been talking for a while on MSN now. About a month or so I think. Jamie gave her my MSN address. We kind of flirted online and I don't even know why since I'm not that interested in her. I've told her I'm not and that it's just a bit of fun and she knows that too. However, me and her were alone in my room for quite some time and me being tired, tipsy and a little horny referred to stuff that we'd been talking about online. It was basically how she said that she'd flash me when she saw me again and I was wondering if she'd do it or not. She said she'd do it if there weren't people around. And that I wouldn't be able to see anyway because the light was off. I turned it on and she flashed me. I asked if she wanted me to return the favour and she wanted me to, so I did. It was fun.
Lee came back after a while, but now that me and Mandy were flirting in the dark together, I wanted him to go away so I told him to go get himself pissed on the amount of booze down there and he did for a while, but he came back. Finally he went again, so did Mandy though for a bit and then she came back, this time she sat on my bed instead, then she ended up laying next to me and my arm kind of instinctively went around her. I don't know, it was just nice to have that intimacy.
I knew that she wanted to do stuff as much as I did at this point, because she wasn't saying anything, just kind of inching closer to me. I started stroking her arm a little for a bit and then stopped, before moving my hand down just to rest it on my leg, then it dropped inbetween my leg and hers and then it somehow got on top of her knee, where I felt her hand on top of mine slide it up her leg and drop between them and I rubbed her through her knickers. I was still half passed out as I was doing this as well, so it was quite weird. I stopped rubbing her and put my hand on her arse instead, and then moved it up her back, before coming round to the front and playing with her breasts. She looked down at me (in the dark, but I could still see) and smiled as I was doing it and I kissed her while playing with her breasts. It was a very nice way to end the night, sadly, cut short by the fact that just as we were getting into it, Laura shouted up that they were all leaving. It was only 6:30am.
I wondered why they were all going and she said that no one was feeling well. That they must of eaten something or drank too much. No one could stop shitting.
Mandy wanted to stay with me, making excuses as to why she should stay, but in the end, I said that maybe she should go because they were being adamant about it and none of them knew of what we were doing. She kissed me and left my room, where I lay there wondering what the hell had just happened over the last 30 minutes.
I got up about five minutes later. Everyone was still here, but they were all looking pretty ill and tired. Jamie, Mike, Danielle and Mandy were being taken home by Laura in the car. Stan and Lee were waiting for a cab to come and take them home. Carl was still passed out on my mum's bed. Dave was passed out on the living room floor.
I said goodbye to those who were leaving and Mandy looked a bit longfully at me as I said goodbye to everyone.
About 15 minutes later, the cab came for Stan and Lee, leaving just Dave and Carl here. I woke Dave up off the floor and said that he should get in Laura's bed instead of sleeping there and he got up, though his first port of call was the toilet to throw up and my god did he throw up. He sounded bad. After he'd thrown up though, he said he felt a little better and he went asleep in Laura's room while I went asleep in mine, Carl still passed out in my mum's.
I awoke at 11:30am to the sound of Dave coming up my stairs, asking if I wanted any of the alcohol that was left over. I said that he could take whatever he wanted. A few minutes later, Carl came up, asking me for directions from a road to my house so his Dad could pick both of them up, but I didn't know.
I got up a little later to see how they both were and they looked fairly fine, but tired. Around 45 minutes later, his Dad came and picked them up, leaving me with an empty house. I did plan on going back to sleep, but instead, decided to start cleaning up. There wasn't actually that much to do though, since Laura and Danielle had taken it upon themselves last night around 2am to start putting all the rubbish in bags and this morning, Dave cleared the living room and put all of the bedding into a pile.
I called my mum around 2pm to tell her that everyone had gone so she could come back round. She said she'd be back in a bit. Laura and Chris came back home at 3pm and they saw the mess in the kitchen, but it wasn't that bad. They went upstairs as I was cleaning, but Laura shouted me and that's when things turned so, so, fucking bad.
"Neil?"
"Yeah?"
"WHY, is my bed broke?"
"What?"
"Neil, my bed is broke. Just come here and have a look at this."
"I will in a minute, I'm just cleaning the kitchen"
"Neil, come and have a look"
"OK, your bed is broke! Me looking at it isn't going to change that" - I wasn't being as worried as perhaps I should be, because I assumed that it was something minor. The fact that I'd just looked in her room two minutes ago before she came in and I didn't see anything unusual also made me not panic. But then Chris joined in and I got scared, because Chris is one fucking big guy.
"Neil, get here NOW"
"Ok, two minutes"
He then came down the stairs and into the kitchen, looking as if he was going to hit me and I've never been so scared for my own life.
"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOUR MATES DONE TO HER BED?"
"What?", I was seriously confused. I had no idea what he was talking about.
"ONE OF YOUR MATES HAS BROKEN HER BED. GO UP THERE AND HAVE A LOOK."
"Alright, calm down, it's not my fault", I said, trying my utmost to sound calm myself when infact my legs were trembling at this point from having Chris's face in mine.
"YEAH, IT IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS!"
"Yeah, but I didn't do it"
"YOUR FRIENDS ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY SO ITS YOUR FAULT!"
"It's not my fault"
"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!", he said, shouting at the top of his voice into my face.
"Don't you talk to me like that"
"NEIL, GET UP THERE AND HAVE A FUCKING LOOK AT WHAT THEY'VE DONE!"
He pointed the way as if he was my father or something. I was fucking terrified of him. I went up to Laura's room to see what was the matter, Chris right behind me. One of the metal sidebars that holes the ends of the bed together and holds the matress had buckled and was now bent, meaning you couldn't put the matress on it.
"LOOK AT WHAT YOUR BLOODY MATES HAVE DONE!", he said, still shouting at the top of his voice at me.
"THEY'VE DELIBERATELY BENT THAT!"
"No they haven't", I said to him, still trying my best to not burst into tears by now.
"WELL HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPLAIN IT THEN!"
"I don't know...I'll call them"
"YEAH, GO ON!"
And so I hurriedly went up to my room, shaking, on the verge of crying, trying desperately to get in touch with my friends, but no one was answering. I tried and tried, with no luck.
"WELL WHAT HAVE THEY GOT TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES?!"
"I can't get through"
I came down again and Laura was sat on the floor next to her bed. "They've been in my drawers too", she said. "They've taken stuff".
"What? Oh god", I said.
"YOUR MATES HAVE GOT SOME FUCKING ANSWERING TO DO"
"I know they do, but it's not my fault"
"IT IS YOUR FAULT! I AM THIS CLOSE TO SMACKING YOU! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE STOP BEING A WIMP AND TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY!!"
Then he went downstairs and Laura followed. I went back upstairs to try and phone them again and nothing. I went back down again to see Chris and Laura walking out the front door.
"I've tried calling them, but no answer"
"YEAH WELL TRY HARDER!"
I was so fucking scared. Unbelievably fucking scared. I called my nan's and told my mum to get round here right now. After that, I tried calling Stan and this time I got through and I explained everything. He said it wasn't his fault and that he hadn't been in Laura's drawers. I told him that everyone is going to have to pay towards the bed and the stuff that has gone missing. I was having a panic attack as I was talking to him.
"Stan, Chris is going fucking mad. He's already threatened to hit me and he's fucking bigger than you! I'm shaking so much and I feel like crying here. We've gotta do something. Stuff has gone missing as well. And, I know it might not be you, but I do have to ask you, have you been through Laura's drawers?"
"No, honestly. I was passed out all night in there. I didn't do anything. Don't worry. We'll get it sorted."
"I need you to ring everyone and tell them what's happened and to call me, yeah?"
"Yeah, ok"
I then called Jamie, but it was engaged, but I found out a few minutes later it was because it was Stan talking to him. I explained to Jamie everything and he was as willing to pay for it as Stan was, which was reassuring. I was breaking down as I talked to Jamie, he didn't know what to say and I had to ask him if he had been through Laura's drawers as well but he said no. I said goodbye and called Lee and told him the same stuff and ask him as well. He was willing to pay for the damage as well, but I have no idea who would go through Laura's things out of my friends. I didn't know my friends were capable of that. I feel so betrayed by them and I do feel so sorry for Laura too. But Chris has made me feel so fucking scared of him.
My mum arrived home a few minutes later and she looked just as angry as Chris. She went came up to Laura's room to see the damage and then she had a go at me as well, but nothing as bad as Chris did. I was in tears by now, apologising, and whispering through my tears to my mum how fucking terrified I am of Chris after he had been shouting at me. I was still in a state of panic, tears almost running down my face. While me and my mum stood in Laura's bedroom, Laura and Chris went out once more. My mum went into her room to see if everything was ok in there, and it was, but she found some of the things that Laura had said had been taken in her room and also in the bathroom. Someone had definitely been through Laura's stuff.
I tried desperately to get in touch with whoever I could, this time telling them we needed to meet tomorrow to discuss this and they all said ok, apart from Danielle and Laura, who I couldn't get in touch with. Jamie though, said that he didn't think that Danielle and Laura would pay their share though, because they weren't in Laura's bedroom, but I can't be sure if they were or weren't because I was in my bedroom some of the time. I really don't have a fucking clue who would do this.
I sat there, on my mum's bed and broke down. My mum came in and said I had no need to be crying. What's done was done and all of that, but Chris had terrified me so much. I was still shaking. I went into the bathroom and cried like I can't remember ever doing out of fear and the sheer amazement at what had happened, but mostly Chris's anger and almost violence to me.
I kept telling my mum my fear of Chris and she was saying how he wouldn't touch me and if he did, he'd never be allowed in the house again. But his voice and his words were enough to fuck me up for the next few days.
Chris and Laura came back after a while. They had been back to his to get a set of allen keys to undo the bed. While Laura and Chris were upstairs, me and my mum cleaned the livingroom and kitchen. I was already doing that before she came home and I was happy to do it by myself and I kept saying I'd do it, but she helped. I tried to hide my tears as I passed Laura's room to get to my mum's to put the bedding away and then went back down.
My mum went into the hallway to hoover.
"Hey, Chris", my mum called up to him. "You've put the fear of God into Neil"
"Well he should take some responsibility, it's his fault"
"But no, Chris, it isn't his fault"
"Yes it is"
"No, it's not. He didn't do it."
"Oh well I'm not arguing with you", he said.
"Hey! I'm not arguing!", my mum replied, with a very detectable sense that she was beginning to understand how he had been towards me.
"Oh I'm going", he said. "I'm not staying in a house where people disagree with me"
He got his coat and left, along with Laura.
As they were going out yet again, Laura said to my mum that Chris had said that he might not come here again. "Oh well that's his decision", my mum said and thank fuck, my mum was on my side about this.
I sat in the living room and started crying again. It was simply because of how Chris had been towards me, in my own house. Threatening me and shouting at me.
My mum came out of the hall and slammed the door behind her after they'd left.
"FUCK HIM", she said. "Arrogant bastard"
I just kept crying and crying. I couldn't stop shaking either still. It was another two hours before I did. My mum had called my nan to tell her what was going on while I sat there listening and it was reassuring to know that my mum was standing up for me. I, me, personally, had done nothing wrong, it is my friends who have.
"For someone who's supposed to be intelligent", my mum said "you'd think he could work out that it isn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong"
"Yeah. Except he doesn't see it that way"
"Ah whatever. Ignore him. If anyone should be shouting it should be me!", she half joked. "He's acting like he owns this fucking house! He's out of order. Argh!"
She was now riled about his attitude as well.
It's now coming up to 9pm. Laura and Chris have gone back to his. I'm meeting everyone from last night except Laura and Danielle tomorrow at 1pm. I don't know why exactly, but I feel that we should. My mum said that �200 should cover both the damages and a bed. �200 between eight people is �25 so it's not too bad, and I can understand why Danielle and Laura don't want to pay if they say they weren't in there, but still, I just want to know who went looking in the drawers. The bed, I can understand. That was just an accident. The rooting though, I find unbelievable. It's betrayal of both my trust in them and the hospitality I have shown them. I fear that no one will own up to it, which means that I'm going to have a lack of trust between any of them for a bit and I hate that.
Mandy called a few minutes ago. She was worried about me, after she called me earlier and heard me crying. She said everyone is worried about me. I'm glad that the majority of people have said that they'll pay. The more people that do, the less we have to pay individually.
I've finally calmed down now. Writing this entry has calmed me. It's put it in perspective a little bit better and I know that it will all get sorted, but it was just Chris being so threatening towards me that has really shook me up. It's me we're talking about. I don't ever raise my voice or do anything untowards to anyone. He's right, maybe I AM a wimp, but that still doesn't give him the right to threaten me in my own home and act like it's his. Like I said, he said he might not come here no more, I hope the bastard never does, but as my mum said, I can't wish for that, because then Laura wouldn't see him and I don't wish that upon her either.
What a way to start 2005.
