It was because I went to bed at 5am this morning. Why? Because i'm stupid. I did attempt to get up, but failed miserably, after switching off my alarm and going back to bed, even though I knew Alan had something to tell me which I had to be in for today.
At around 3pm, I heard my mum shouting me and she woke me up.
"What?"
"There's a man on the phone for you. It's your tutor"
I got dressed quickly and took the call, expecting it to be Ed, moaning at me for not being in today. However, I was suprised.
"Hello?"
"Hi Neil, it's Alan"
He wanted to discuss why I hadn't turned up today because it was today that he was going to sort out my number key skills exam. He said that because I didn't turn up, he was now unable to give me the things to do that would of earnt me a place in the test. I said that I was sorry that I hadn't turned up and that "I didn't feel well". It was a complete lie really, but I had to say something.
Alan is one hell of a compromising guy. I mean, although he was calling me to tell me that he couldn't enter me for the test, from his voice, it almost sounded like he was being apologetic about it when it was me who was totally at fault. He asked if I personally could see a way to rectify it and I said no.
We must of talked for at least 15 minutes, discussing my attendance to his lesson (A mere 19% over the year - What an awful attendance rate!).
I felt so guilty, listening to him. As he said, I am quite capable of the work that he wants me to do, but because I haven't been in, he can't make it official.
He then compromised with me.
"Tell you what, you're in college tomorrow aren't you?"
"Yeah"
"Come see me then tomorrow and we'll sort something out, ok?"
"Ok, thanks"
I'm so very appreciative of him.
Tomorrow when I see him, i'm going to apologise to him for being in so little. I feel like I've been such a disservice to him and his willingness to teach me. He really doesn't have any responsibility to help me any further and yet he is, by being willing to sort something out tomorrow.
Really, although I've produced quality work, which is above the level required for this course, I don't think I've shown the dedication to it which I should of. I think the tutors have been tolerant of my absences because of the fact that my work is fairly good. If not for my work, then I'd have nothing going for me and I definitely wouldn't be offered a place on both the multimedia course and graphics course. I'm extremely thankful to all of the tutors for percivering with me.
Next year when i'm on the multimedia course (IF I get the grades required of course for this course), I know that the kind of absences I've had this year won't be tolerated as much and therefore, I must work harder next year.
No doubt when I give my mounted work in tomorrow to Ed he'll have a moan at me for not coming in today. Hopefully when he sees my mounted work though it'll shut him up.
I'll also have the chance to show Brian my Ignite Design website, since he's not seen it yet.
And now for something that's been on my mind for quite some time - I think my mum is cheating on Paul.
Yeah. For about three weeks now it's not been hard to realise that she is definitely cheating on him. There's been a lot of things she's whispered to both Laura and my nan about it, as if I can't hear, but I can. All I know is that his name is Gary.
She goes to see him once or twice a week. I swear she thinks I either don't know, or don't care, but I do. Why? Because I consider Paul my friend. He may be my mum's boyfriend, but he's also a great laugh and like I say, I consider him a friend. I don't think I should stand by and knowingly let my mum cheat on him and yet, I know that if I do tell him, and she finds out that I told him, she'll be so pissed off at me and hate me for it, even though SHE'S the one who's doing wrong.
I'm really confused about whether to tell him or not. I've spoken to a few people about it and out of the five people I've told, I've had one telling me to tell him, two saying no and one saying maybe. So i'm really none the wiser.
I really do think of him as a friend though and I feel that, because he is my friend, I have some sort of duty to tell him of this and yet, because I'd have to deal with the wrath from my mum, I don't know whether to. If it was one of my friends and I knew someone was cheating on them, I'd tell them in a heartbeat.
People keep telling me it's not my place to tell him. I don't see why it's not my place though. Are friends not supposed to look out for each other?
This house is severly lacking in morals. I mean fucking hell, even Laura was cheating on HER boyfriend up until a few days ago. Why the hell does it seem like i'm the only one with any sense of morality in this house?
And it's not like either of them particularly regret doing it, infact they're quite proud of it. And it's not like my mum is suddenly going to see her error and put it all right, since she's actually enjoying playing the two of them. I love it, but it's not right.
