After finishing Tony's lesson on Tuesday, me, Dave and Stan walked down into down. On the way, I heard Dave shout hi to a girl and she walked over to us. I recognised her. Her name was Claire. I'd seen her before in college, as she used to go out with John, a guy on my course who is now no longer on it. He got kicked off for not coming in enough. The first oppurtunity I got to actually talk to her, I didn't. Dave and the rest of them were already familiar with her and had talked to her before, but when they saw her with me, she didn't know me of course, and it's not like anyone introduced me to her, so she didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to her, even though I really wanted to. And yes, I do find her attractive, but more than that, she just seems like the kind of friend I really want. I was kind of kicking myself after that incident.
But, back to Tuesday. When she came over, after Dave shouted her, she hugged him and then Stan, but not me. I kind of felt left out I guess. Thankfully, Dave introduced me. "You know Neil, don't you?", he said. "Don't think so?", she replied. "Yeah you do", Dave said, before I said "Yeah, I've seen you once". "Oh, ok", she said, "Ok well you can have a hug too!", before she hugged me. I felt like I'd been 'initiated' into her circle of friends after that. We talked for a few minutes, before saying goodbye and she hugged the three of us once more before we left each other.
I got just four hours of sleep Tuesday night, after stupidly going to bed quite late. Still, I managed to get myself in, along with my packaging box which I STILL haven't taken pictures of. I also took the photos which I'd taken at the beach with Dave to show Alan, my photography teacher. He's excellent when it comes to constructive critiscm. He always talks about each photo and tells me the good and bad parts of each.
Jamie, Stan and Dave and Andy had decided to go to the Tate gallery. For what reason, i'm not quite sure. I think it was just to get out of college. However I didn't want to go because it would of meant more walking and I had work to do with my box. I asked Alan if I could take pictures of it and he said that the studio was being used, which meant that I still couldn't take pictures of this stupid box. It's been taken back and forth to college so many times it's all falling apart now and really needs gluing back together. Instead, he said I should work on my final major project, but I couldn't do that because I hadn't brought my sketches in for my logo. It basically meant that I had nothing to do at all, except fill in a survey for the college. While I was doing it, I felt a piece of paper hit the back of my head. I looked up and saw Ed standing opposite me.
"Oi", he began, "where've you been?"
"Off"
"Well I know that"
You could tell he was pissed at me for not being in. He went on about some sort of form that I still had to sign. He didn't really give me much chance to explain exactly why I'd been off. I don't like shouting across the room to explain why so instead I just stayed quiet and let him have a go at me. He left after a while.
Thankfully, Stan and Dave had decided to come back for some reason so I wasn't on my own. By this time it was break and we had 30 minutes or so for it.
Dave said that they had arranged to meet Claire outside her class at 10:30. Jamie and Andy soon met me, Dave and Stan and we waited outside Claire's class, till she came out and greeted us all with a hug, before we left the college and carried on to the pub. It's really hard not to find Claire incredibly attractive. Her hair alone sets her apart from most. It's black and pink, styled into soft spikey hair. She's about 5'5 and is so very softly spoken. The clothes she wears are so cool too, but then she is a fashion designer. One thing that was very...I don't know how to put it. Well she was wearing some baggy jeans, and above the jeans, she had a black thong on, which was purposefully pulled up past her jeans and clearly on view. Being the guys that we are, it's hard not to like this just a little! I wanted to start getting to know her properly, so I tried my best to make conversation with her, picking up on what she was talking about and asking questions and whatnot. She was talking about her fashion sense and how she's always colour coordinated right down to her thong. She then pulled the front of her pants down slightly to reveal more of the thong to show me a small pink bow on them. Nice to say the least! Infact, she showed one or two of us after showing me as if it was the most normal thing to do.
She went back to her classroom with Andy after 15 minutes and we went back to ours. Stan/Dave said they'd meet her outside her classroom again at lunch and that's what we did, after which we all went the pub, or rather, sat outside it and talked. I learnt that she is a Wiccan and is bi, which of course all the guys find amazing. Nothing to me though. We sat there for an hour before returning to college and then talked some more in the college. She asked us if anyone had an id card to open the door and I offered mine. So while the rest went to class, I walked her up to her classroom and she gave me a hug and said goodbye. As I turned round, Andy was coming up the stairs and he wanted to say goodbye to her too.
Apparantly, he's trying his hardest to go out with her. I can't blame him. I'm sure most guys would want to. As I walked down the stairs, I turned around to see him kiss her on (what looked like) the lips, so I assumed that he was going out with her already, but I later learnt that this wasn't the case. Maybe my eyes didn't see what I thought they saw, or maybe it was just a friendly kiss or something.
I walked to the darkroom, where our lesson with Louise, my other photography teacher was. She walked up to me. "...where've you been!?", she asked. I thought for a second of going with the generic "I've not been well", but then I decided to just tell the truth. "My sleeping patterns have been really bad lately. I suffer from insomnia sometimes". She looked at me a bit weird. "No, really", I continued. "I'm not just saying that, I really do suffer from it, seriously". Again, she looked at me as if to say "Yeah right". That kind of annoyed me really, because she's always like that. Fails to believe anything that might be a bit abnormal.
It was at this point that I could feel my mood dropping drastically. It had been on it's way down all morning for no real reason. I just began feeling more and more depressed as the day went on. To top it off, Ed resurfaced and was still wanting to have a go at me.
"You, have got to get in every day next week", he said, and various other things like that. I wanted to explain why I hadn't been in, but again, the oppurtunity didn't arise, instead being talked down to once more. I was ready to just go home, knowing I couldn't, because I really needed to catch up on things. Louise handed me a worksheet and told me to go to the library to do it. "Now if I give you this, you sure you're not gonna disappear on me?", she said sarcastically. It didn't amuse me. Instead, I just took the sheet and went the library, where I spent the next 90 minutes searching for a photography I liked and then writing about him. I asked Dave who he'd chosen and I decided to write about him, selecting about six of his photos and writing about them.
Around 3pm, Dave left, as did everyone else, but I carried on working till 3:45pm. Once I finished I went to find Louise and gave her the work. She was pleased with it and sounded surprised. I think she just does that surprised thing to appease me. Or maybe she genuinely does get surprised at everything.
I hadn't eaten since 7:10am and it was now 3:50pm so I was quite hungry by then. I went the cafe to get some food, with just enough time to eat it and go and meet Sarah at 4:20pm.
I was feeling quite deflated at that point. Even the thought of meeting Sarah in just twenty minutes didn't perk me up. But, to my surprise and delight, I saw Claire walking towards my cafe table. I said hi to her and she sat down and we began talking as I ate. She asked me if I was walking into town and I said yes. She said she'd walk down with me.
As we walked out of the college together, she met some people she knew and talked to them for a few minutes. I kept looking at the time, knowing that I was meeting Sarah in a few minutes. She hugged them goodbye and we carried on walking and talking, trying not to try too hard to make conversation. I made her laugh a few times, which was nice. "You're really nice to talk to", she just came out with. Now, to most, i'm sure it wouldn't be that a big a deal if someone said that to you, but to me, it was so nice of *her* to say it. I've never heard someone say that to me before. Somehow she got onto the subject of her hating wearing knickers and only wearing gstrings and thongs. Very strange talking to a girl about her underwear, after pretty much only knowing her for a day. We carried on walking, till she met even more people. Again, we stopped and she talked and hugged them, before we continued once more.
She took me to where she works - a hairdressers. No wonder her hair is so cool. She went there to find her mobile, but the door was locked so we left. I didn't want to say I had to meet someone, because I was enjoying being in her company a lot. She's the kind of person I want when I talk about wanting friends. Or maybe I just can't see past my attraction to her. She seems very intelligent though and mature. She told me that she likes the company of guys much more than girls, but once she goes out with a guy, then she gets annoyed by them.
We went into a shop which she wanted to go in. I looked at the time again and by this point I should of been waiting for Sarah by now, but still didn't say anything. Thankfully we didn't stay in the shop long.
We got to the train station and she knew it was where I was going home, but of course I wasn't going home just yet.
"So, are you going home now?", she asked.
"No, i'm meeting someone"
"Oh ok, I'll wait with you then"
Noo! As much as I loved being in her company, I felt as if this was a really bad thing. Here I had what was basically perfect girlfriend material, and on the way to meet me was the girl who I was meeting. Uncomfortable. By the time we got to where I was meeting Sarah, it was 4:30pm which meant I was late by 10 minutes. I was both disappointed and yet strangely relieved that Claire and Sarah hadn't met.
"I'll give her till 4:40", I said, to which Claire replied a minute later, "Let's give her till 4:45". Considering I was supposed to be there twenty minutes ago, I was pretty sure I'd missed her and waiting there was now pointless. As we sat there, none other than John - her ex walked past us. I think he was in a bit of a shock when he saw me next to her. She didn't say anything to him and he kept on walking. Apparantly those two aren't talking and she really dislikes him because he's 'fucked up', in her words. A few minutes later, amazingly, at 4:40, I saw Sarah walking towards me. I got up and gave her a hug. Sarah saw Claire sitting down behind me and I introduced them to each other and all three of us began to walk.
Do you realise how weird it is being in that situation? I mean they were talking to each other, finding out stuff about each other, while I was in the middle of them, being pretty quiet. Claire asked me where we were planning to go and I told her the cinema, but that it didn't start for another hour. "Oh well you can walk me to my bus stop then", she said. Ehh. Not that I mind walking her to her bus stop, but I was with Sarah too of course and it just feels weird. As we walked, I managed to end up on the right of them both and as we crossed a road, Claire switched positions and said something along the lines of not wanting to get inbetween me and her (Sarah), because she's my girlfriend. Noo. That made me cringe a little. I guess in a way I wanted Claire to know that I wasn't taken, even though I have very little chance of actually ever going out with her. Sarah isn't my girlfriend...I think. Well, I don't think of her as my girlfriend anyway. I'm seeing her, but i'm not going out with her and I can't define them both.
We sat down in the bus stop. Sarah to my left, Claire to my right. I was still pretty quiet towards both of them, letting them do the talking. Claire's bus came after about 15 minutes and she gave me a hug, before getting on it. I was kind of relieved she'd left, as it meant I could now focus on Sarah.
We still had thirty minutes to kill before the film so we went to sit in the park. I showed her the photos I'd shown Alan, while we talked about various things, before finally going the cinema to see Mona Lisa Smile. After twenty minutes or so of it, I decided to put my arm around her. I kept looking over at her, hoping she'd look back at me so I could kiss her, but I don't think she noticed, so after another ten minutes, I leaned in and kissed her. She readily kissed back and thus began what could be one of the longest kissing sessions I've ever had with someone, not to mention all the touching...and sucking. Yes, I sucked on her nipples in the cinema :D. Such fun. We must of kissed for at least 30-40 minutes, missing pretty much the main part of the film.
After I'd come back from the toilet, we just sat, with my arm around her and watched the end of the film, which was incredibly boring in my opinion. It's one of those films which is orientated to girls, a hell of a lot more than guys. I was very glad when it was over.
We walked back to the station at 7:30. Sarah stopped.
"Have you got your bag?", she asked me.
"Oh god, no"
I replied, and we had to walk all the way back to the cinema once more to get it, as it had my folder and my photographs in, before walking to the station once more and waiting for her train with her. Just before it came we kissed a hell of a lot again. Once it came, she decided to get the next one and for the next six minute we kissed some more. She said she wished I could come back to hers with her, but to be honest, I was absolutely worn out because I'd been up since 6:30am with four hours sleep and was very much ready for bed. The next train came, and I kissed her again before letting her catch her train, only to catch her up and kiss her one last time before I let her go. I then caught my own train home, had something to eat, came online for an hour or so and then went to bed at 12am, and I had eight and a half hours of sleep, which was very much needed, especially since I had an art exhibition to go to. But I'll tell you about that in my next entry...
