I went to bed at 11:30pm last night, after waking up at 10am that morning. It was a good decision, since I was feeling very tired, both physically and emotionally after what happened yesterday.
I don't know how many times I woke up during the night, but I did. On occasions, I kept smelling something burning for some reason, only for it to disappear a second later. I was half asleep at the time of course, so I know that perhaps I was imagining it, but WHY was I imagining it?
When I woke up this morning, I had heard no alarm go off so I assumed I must of woken up slightly early. However, upon glancing at my watch I realised this was not the case, since my watch read 7:42am. I re-read it just to make sure I wasn't seeing things, but sure enough, I had woken up 50 minutes later than usual. Of course, I got out of bed immediatly and proceeded to get ready. I knew I had missed my bus and I knew that I'd miss my train too. Thankfully, I always have the backup plan of getting the next one and getting to the station by cab.
I managed to get up, get ready, have something to eat and be out the door by 8am. That's amazing for me.
Monday is my graphics lesson with Ed. He gave us a combined brief which we will be working on till the end of December. It's a combined brief, because we will also be doing parts of it in multimedia and photography.
The brief is to design some packaging for a product of your choice, along with a poster for it. I've decided to choose a fictional new Apple mouse. It will be encompassed in a cylindrical tube, that's slanted at the top. Two thirds of the cylinder will be card and the other third will be see through plastic to see the mouse, which will be standing up. I think it sounds interesting enough to look at once it's finished and also easy enough to do. My first idea was to create a dome shape, but it just wasn't going to work because of the way it'd all have to bend so I went with the cylinder idea instead.
We had to come up with a name for the product too, naturally. I settled on iErgo, since Apple always use 'i' before one of the pieces of hardware. The 'Ergo' bit, because I want it to be an ergonomic mouse, along with wireless and optical.
The advert is a picture (currently just a drawing) of a mouse (of the animal variety, not the computer variety) with it's tail in the background, except it's not attached to the mouse. Then, underneath is the line 'Set yourself free.'. Hopefully there's some way I can actually do this ad without the need to go and get a mouse from somewhere of course.
So today was pretty productive and I managed to get many pieces of layout paper covered in work.
As it drew nearer to 4pm - the time at which we go home - I then remembered just what I was going home to.
All day, I had completely forgotten about my problems at home and it had been a very welcome break from it all but as 4pm drew closer, I began to remember and I was dreading going home.
Once I did get home, I decided not to say hello to my mum, even though she was there. I didn't particularly feel like being civil to her if she cannot be civil to me. I simply went upstairs to my room, but as I was just about to make my way up the stairs into my room, I heard my mum talking to my nana who had arrived shortly after I had walked in. I heard my mum say something to her about me. I didn't hear the specifics, but I heard her mention me and the tone of voice that she used meant she was indeed still pissed off at me. I doubt that will ever change.
Once in my room, I found my other foe, though admittedly not as confrontational as my mum. Laura. She was on the computer, but once she had done what she was on it to do, I went on it, and I found that like many times over the years I've had MSN, my friends on it are truly irreplaceable. People like Lisa and Hana and Liam.
But, I must also mention someone new. Nicola. She had somehow appeared on my list, and I don't remember adding her. Infact, upon right clicking her name and viewing her email address, I still didn't recognise her. She said hi and introduced herself as, well, like I said, Nicola and then I realised that it was the girl I've just linked. She leaves me messages in my notes often, saying good morning, since she can see me on my webcam. It's nice.
The reason I am mentioning her is because for about two hours after that, she managed to calm my fears slightly about leaving home. She told me what I should do and how to go about doing it and I feel less worried when (not if) I do have to leave. She was extremely helpful and I just want to thank her in my diary.
Then I have Lisa who is always caring. Then I have Hana who is incredibly wonderful. She always manages to make me smile somehow. God Hana, you don't know how much you mean to me and how appreciative I am of everything you manage to do to make me feel that little bit better. She even offered me a place to stay, if things got really desperate. Hana lives in London. I live in Liverpool. A long, long way to travel to go live somewhere, but who better to live with than someone like her? She means more to me than anyone. Though I hope it never comes to being so desperate as to having to take her offer up, like I say, there is no one I'd like to spend a few days with than her. Hana, you are great.
So, like I said, Nicola helped me work a few things out. Firstly, she suggested I go to the housing office and ask for a housing form. I intend to do this tomorrow. There is a place in town where I can go and since i'm in town every day, it's handy for me. She also suggested I ask Student Services for help too, which I will also do tomorrow.
Then, she helped me work out how much money I would spend per month if I was living on my own. For food, electricty, gas, water and the internet, it all came to �205 which made me quite relieved, as I only have �260/month via Income Support to work with. Since these are the main bills and I have to pay them if I want to survive, it's very assuring to know that I wouldn't be in too much of a problem when it comes to the money side of things.
She also raised the point about simple things like furniture and cooking stuff. I didn't think about this. What about a fridge and a cooker and stuff?! I'm fine with having no furniture, but I obviously need to have something to cook with. I don't know how i'm going to sort this out. Again, if you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I feel as if sorting all of this out may make me fall into another phase of depression, because I feel as if it's all getting on top of it. Having said that, with the help of such good people online, perhaps this won't be the case.
Another thing I will do tomorrow is ring James Riley and see if he can fit me in before i'm due to see him next Monday, since I feel as if I can't wait that long to talk to him about all of this and I know that he will be able to help me get in contact with the right people too. I did have an appointment with him last week, but I forgot all about it. I guess it won't matter too much if he can't fit me in, but I'd be grateful if he could.
I also must thank Kyla, for she sent me a long email which made me smile when I read it this morning as I was getting ready for college. I appreciate your concern Kyla, so much. It's so nice to know that there are actually people out there who care and I hope that one day I can repay every single one of you who has ever helped me because I appreciate it a lot. Without you people, I know I would be lost. Thankyou to everyone.
