I saw this girl on my way to college this morning. She was sitting, waiting for a train, while I was on another and she was looking at this mum and her three kids, and looking at the floor. She looked like she wanted to be part of it. Like she was lonely. Her eyes just looked so..needy. watched her for about a minute, while the train was in the station. I wanted to get off and talk to her.
I often do that. Sit and look at people as they walk past, or indeed, I walk past them. I wonder about what they're thinking right at that moment. Whether they noticed me looking at them and whether they noticed me enough to form some sort of opinion on me.
Once in college, we began work on perspective drawing. Basically, what you have to do is draw a dot in the middle of the page and from that dot, draw lines to the bottom of the page on different angles, but all leading back to that dot. Then once you've done that, you can create all kinds of shapes and once you've finished, they all point towards the 'Vanishing Point'. We did a 'One Point Perspective' drawing and a 'Two Point Perspective' drawing, which consisted of putting the vanishing points at the sides of the paper. A bit tedious.
I asked Stan if he went the party on Friday. He said he didn't. Infact, hardly anyone ended up going. Dave did and Paul did. That's it. Plus, Dave said there was only the girl's family there, consisting of around 15 people. Doesn't sound like what I was expecting it to be really. I'm kind of glad I didn't go.
The one downfall of being friends with all of the people in my class, is that most of them smoke and when we all go on a break and they light up, even outside, it stinks so much. I don't know how anyone does it. I don't know how anyone can stand such a smell.
This is a pretty boring entry really. I mean, nothing interesting happened today.
Having said that, I swear I got a few looks off girls walking past me. It was..interesting. Have you ever had that? When someone looks at you, even if it's only in passing, but then you're wondering why they were doing so? I try to be optimistic and think 'maybe she likes me?', but of course, there's always the thought of 'maybe she hates me?' too.
There's a girl who John talks/talked to (they're not talking currently). She's really pretty. I don't know nothing about her except for the fact that her name is Shelley. I told John I liked her. He said he likes her too.
In the corridoor today, she passed me and she held eye contact with me for a longer period than you would usually do so in the corridoor. Maybe i'm finding some of that unused optimism inside me, but instead of thinking 'she hates me', I decided to think 'she likes me'. She didn't say nothing to me or anything like that. But hey, it made me feel good to be looked at for more than just a brief second...even if it was only a millisecond longer.
That's my little mission currently - To keep eye contact with girls. It's quite hard to do, you know? Have you ever tried it? Try keeping eye contact with someone you might happen to like, walking down a street. As you get nearer them, you feel an obligation to look away from them so as not to look like you're stalking them. But what if you kept eye contact with them, even when you were right up next to them, passing in the street? What if you smiled as you passed? And what if you then saw that person the next day? It'd take a while, but a rapport would grow from it, no? Even if it was you doing all the 'work', they'd still remember you. Just a thought. It's what i'm working on.
I've done it a few times now. To see how long I can keep eye contact before I feel the need to look away. The real test of course, is when they look back and your eyes lock for a second. Do you look away? Or do you wait for them to look away first? Or indeed, do neither of you look away and then there's a problem. Or success.
Moving on.
For about two hours on Saturday, I was sat at the kitchen table looking through a magazine I'd bought in Sainsbury's cutting out all the big text in it. Why? Because that's what we were told to do last week in graphics and since I went early to see James, I didn't finish mine so I had it as homework. After looking through around the entire magazine and cutting out the words, I arranged them on the kitchen table. Looks quite good simply like that eh? Then, I got a piece of A5 and started to place INDIVIDUAL letters from all those words onto the A5. I had to cut up the letters using a stanley knife. My God, it's so slow. It takes about ten minutes just to do a four letter word.
I got pretty tired of it after an hour or two so just left it and resumed it yesterday for another hour or so. I've still not finished even the first piece of A5 and I have to do four of them! They did have to be in today for the assessment which was due to take place, but since Ed is well, uh, Ed (ie a bit forgetful and strange), we didn't have an assessment and since it's half term next week, I've now got two weeks to complete it.
Back to today and a little more about eye contact.
When I waiting for the train home, I happened to see a really nice girl. Well, woman actually I guess, since she was at least 21 or 22. Woman/girl...hmm, woman sounds strange. Just used to saying girl.
Anyway.
She was really nice and she was with her boyfriend. I looked over at her, but not at her, though I was looking at her out the corner of my eye. I done this a few times. She looked back once or twice too, catching each other's eye. My train came and they got on too. I sat on the right side of the train, and they sat on the left side, one set of seats up from me and since the seat backs are high, the way we were sitting meant the boyfriend was out of my picture pretty much. Ah the things I do to amuse myself.
For the duration of the journey (20 minutes), all I done was look back and forwards at this girl and I caught her eye a few times. At one point I looked away, and looked back, only to find her looking at me already so I turned away and almost broke into a laugh, because, though i'm sure she was doing nothing but looking at me like any other person, I was playing a game with her/myself (probaly more myself!) and it was amusing to 'win', or indeed lose, whichever way you want to look at it. Like earlier in the day, optimism won over and I decided that she knew exactly what I was doing and that she was looking at me because it was me and not because I was sitting by her. Say what you will, but these things entertain me, if not give me more confidence to perhaps actually...speak (shock!) to one of these girls I might happen to like one day.
Speaking of girls I happen to like, I sent Hana a poster of PotC as a nice little surprise. I love sending her things. I don't know why. I love sending anyone stuff. I like giving people things. I like making people happy and if there is anyone that I enjoy making happy, it's Hana. But hey, I'll make you happy too if you want? I don't know how, but I'll try?
Ironic isn't it? I'm so damn lonely and unhappy, yet I still enjoy making others happy. I think it's ironic anyway.
Hana always manages to put a smile on my face. She's the only one who can truly make me laugh. Really laugh. She makes me grin and smile. She's so great.
Sorry, but had to say all that about Hana, simply because of the fact that I sent her the PotC poster and she put it up on her wall! I'm happy about that.
If you give me your address I'll come and stalk you write you a letter or something if I can be arsed. Can't buy everyone posters of course, for I would be a very poor boy.
Multimedia tomorrow. Expect an entry about how boring it was and how Tony was annoying.
Let's mention a few names to end with: Lisa, Hana, Melissa, Katie, Jenonenifer - These are the bestest people. Ever. They are also all very pretty. Is that why they're the bestest? No! It's because they're all so very very friendly, and they all manage to make me smile and they all deserve happiness. So yeah. You all rock.
