I hereby decree Liam 0wnz. You hear that Liam? Neil says you 0wn - gotta be good.
Basically what he's done is prevent my computer from loading up my diary, but all you lovely folk can read to your hearts content. Since I don't exactly need to read my own diary, not being able to is a small price to pay so Laura can't either!
She says I didn't, but I think I made Hana feel depressed, because I was depressed too. I'm always scared of my depression affecting other people, especially when my mum told me that 'you can feel it all over this house' and 'I feel it, Laura feels it, Chris feels it'. Really supportive, Mum.
I didn't talk to her (Hana) much today because of how I felt, but when I did talk to her, I couldn't find the happy Neil that was talking to her last night because I was feeling that down and I felt as if it was rubbing off onto her too. I'm sorry if it did, Hana.
My friendship with Lisa is picking up again. I think it is anyway. We both agreed that we haven't talked much over the last few weeks. I told her I felt as if I was boring her and maybe she didn't want to talk to me. She said that wasn't true, though. Like Hana, I fear that when I am depressed, people get bored of me and don't want to talk to me no more. I feel like they might not like me no more. Maybe you think it's stupid, but I have to live with this paranoia I have of pretty much everyone.
She promised me this was not the case, though. It's hard to believe her.
I stopped talking to her about 30 minutes ago, which means I've been talking to her for about two or three hours now. She made me perk up. She made my mood get to the point where, instead of it coming right back down, it kind of stays where it is. Not so good, but not so bad either. So thankyou, Lisa.
Lots of thankyous in this entry eh? But then, I am thankful for every single person who has ever ever tried to help me. Whether it be being someone for me to talk to or, well, I guess that's all anyone can do actually. I still hope, that one day and hopefully not far off in the future, that I will get to thank particularly Hana and Lisa for their help. Because it means a lot to me and I need to express it to you in person. Just a hug, to say thanks for all the support.
Seeing as I can't do that though, the best I can do for now is thank you with words.
Thankyou Hana for making me laugh like no one else. I feel as if you truly understand me. I don't think anyone has ever made me laugh quite like you do. You keep a smile on my face to the point where it hurts and that is truly a great accomplishment. Thankyou.
Thankyou Lisa for being such a supportive person. You help me a lot by being there for me. I feel as if you too understand me. You are always there when I need someone to talk to and for that you will always be close to me. Thankyou.
