Went to bed last night at 3:30am after trying very very hard to stay awake as late as possible but it was like my body was having none of it.

Woke up this morning at around 11:30am and a few times before then. I swear my body is taking over from my mind. Felt dizzy still.

Got up, made something to eat, not before my mum had a go at me for stupid things. Small things. Things that don't make a bit of difference to things. I think neurotic is the word i'm looking for. It doesn't affect me much no more. I just shrug and get on with whatever I was doing.

Went to see James at 2:30pm. I didn't say much though. I told him about my Mood Monitor and he thought it was an excellent idea. Was very impressed. He said I should write a book. Err, yeah.

I was very quiet throughout. I didn't feel like talking much. I explained to him about how my mood was mostly -7's on that Mood Monitor lately.

He looked pretty confused once I'd told him how I'd been feeling lately. My numbness and such. I don't blame him. By the time I was ready to go, he looked just as helpless as I felt. He also said "Neil, I wish I could help you. I really do." Excellent sign of optimism...

I left feeling pretty crap, like I'd felt going in.

Then I realised that I'd actually spend 90 minutes in there almost, instead of 60, which means that he must of thought I needed it which is worrying because he's never done that before.

Came home, sat here, talked to Katie for a while. She's not feeling good either. Feeling numb too. Talked to Lisa. Not feeling good either. Everyone is turning into how I feel. At least when people around me are happy I have something to look up to but if everyone is at my level it doesn't work.

Things suck. Things really really suck.

6:59pm