Sometimes, I wonder if I were to disappear, would anyone truly care and indeed, would they wonder if I was ever coming back. Sadly, to these wonders, the answer is usually no.
I was talking to Uma last night, a reader of my diary. Talking to her about how we both want someone in our lives. Someone close. Someone who we can love and care for and in return, recieve the same. My point? I don't have a point really.
I have 37 people on my MSN list. Of those, I feel like I can be open with perhaps 10 of them. Of those 10, I feel close to around 4 and of those four I've only ever met one of them. Katie. Ironic considering she's one of the furthest away.
Tomorrow, I have an appointment with James. What am I supposed to talk about? Since the last time I saw him, nothing has improved in my life. Nothing's changed. I'm still lonely, i'm still friendless and i'm still single.
Sometimes, I feel as if I will still be writing the same stuff in this diary a year from now. For me, I don't think 2003 will be any better than 2002 was.
In 11 days, last year I was falling in love. This year, I will simply be falling.
12:23am
