I was gonna go the post office today to send the keyboard back, but I didn't wake up till 8:30pm. 8:30pm! That's bloody awful even for me.
So that was that unachieveable.
Then, I went downstairs a little later on to get a drink. I said hi to my mum and whatever and I said that I needed new trousers. I asked her did she look in the catalogue like I asked her to and she said no. "Why should I if you can't be bothered?", she said. "I did look, but couldn't find any", I replied. The conversation was short lived, since I wanted to come back upstairs to watch X-Files.
I watched X-Files and Grahame Norton and then went back downstairs to get something to eat. My mum had the catalogue out, looking through it for trousers. "See, why couldn't you do this", she said to me. I once again told her that I had done, but I couldn't find any. I knew by then that she was in a mood.
Conversation ensued on my part, while argument ensued on hers. I've learnt that it is very very foolish to put myself on the same level as her when she's arguing because she feeds off it and becomes louder. I stay calm and then at least it can't get worse.
After I'd eaten, I went back upstairs. She came up shortly afterwards for another go at me. Saying I am lazy and don't do nothing to help out. The thing is, I am NOT lazy. She had a go at me for sleeping all day. True, I did sleep all day, but it is certainly not by choice. She doesn't realise this though. She thinks I do it intentionally. I let her say what she wanted to say. I couldn't exactly stop her. She stood there while I sat on the bed, having a go at me. Saying this this and this. All of it hurt. It hurts because on one hand it's true, but on the other it's only true because I can't help it.
She said I couldn't be civil with her. Is she not the one who isn't being civil by starting an argument? If anything that's just downright immature.
And I am civil with her. Just that most of the time, I don't have the energy to talk to anyone and so it comes out like I can't be bothered talking to them.
After her little outburst she went for a shower and I continued watching TV. What had happened had made me feel quite bad. Both with guilt, anger and sadness.
She has these outbursts now and again. She doesn't understand me. She doesn't understand that what I do I don't do on purpose. It's very frustrating and it makes me feel all the more depressed.
My cousin, Michael has found me a keyboard! :). A notebook style one as well. It's not wireless but that's a minor detail. It's only �15 as well. I'm hoping that that's not a sign of how bad it is.
I really need to go to town today. For trousers. I also need to go the post office, like I said, to return the keyboard. I also need to get my money.
So yeah, woke up horribly late, got shouted at, felt depressed because of it. Just one day in the life of me.
