This morning, Claire was angry at me for what I wrote in my previous entry. She ended up calling me a bastard and not caring what I thought. She said she didn't want to talk to me no more.
Then, a few hours later, she came back online and she began conversation with me again. This time, saying I am the reason she now feels suicidal. She feels suicidal because she can't be with me, yet she is not willing to do the one thing that would mean we could. I've come to terms with this and I've realised that until Claire decides she wants to tell her mum, we can't be together and Claire will hurt.
Claire has said she doesn't want to talk to me no more three times today. Isn't that a little ironic?
It's not like i'm complaining, of course. I like talking to her, but not when she shouts at me for what she sees as portraying her in a bad light. She wanted me to take out all the parts in my previous entry that she thinks make her look bad. She thinks I do it intentionally, make her look bad I mean.
This isn't true of course.
One minute she says she hates me, the next she says she is suicidal because of me. I offer to leave her alone, but she doesn't want that either and so i'm stuck. I'm willing to do whatever would make her feel better, but she isn't making it easier for me or herself unfortunately.
I've told her that if she ever needs to talk I am here as a friend no matter how much she may of shouted at me and called me things. I still remain on hand, offering my friendship.
I'll always love her, but I know until Claire changes her mind, we will never be together again and perhaps that's the way it will be unfortunately.
1:14am
