I kept hearing the phone ringing and people knocking on the front door today. I didn't answer either though, and just went back to sleep, since I know that the person on the phone would probably be Anna.
I got up around 3pm, and started organising my mp3's on a new program I downloaded called MOODLOGIC. Try it out, it's interesting, although they do neglect to mention it doesn't work on every song. You'll see what I mean if you download it. Don't buy it. Profile the songs yourself.
I logged onto MSN around 5pm and Claire was online, but for some reason, not much was said between us both. It wasn't because either of us were in a mood with the other or anything, we just didn't really have anything to say to each other, or maybe it was just me who didn't have anything to say. Either way, it was really uncomfortable because I wanted to talk to her. That's why I went on MSN in the first place and then I couldn't think of anything to say. Does everyone have days like that?
I've uploaded the PICS I took when I was at the doctor's. They're quite nice.
I've mistakenly spent �20 of my mum's money. I thought it was mine :s. She is a bit annoyed. Honestly, though, I thought it was mine. I wouldn't spend someone else's money intentionally.
I guess i'm going to college tomorrow. No doubt Anna will have a go at me for not going in on Thursday to finish of my design development sheet, and another go at me for not coming in today. So I have that to look forward to.
What I do have to look forward to really, however, is the fact that I see James on Friday and I really want to talk to him because I have a lot to say. Having said that, though, I can't think of how i'm going to say it. I can feel what I want to say, but not word it. It's quite frustrating and an hour is never enough.
Right now i'm feeling below average. I think it's the prospect of going into college. Going somewhere I don't really want to go/be.
Whenever I see a sad scene in a film/program that has to do with a relationship, I seem to be able to feel more. I am able to feel that sadness inside more, because it makes me think about me and Claire. Although feeling sad may not be good, I find it a nice thing that things are making me feel more, when a year ago, those things left me as numb as I was to begin with.
After 18 years and after finding Claire, I think my emotions are finally beginning to come to the surface very very slowly. It'll take time, but they're coming.
10:58pm
