Yesterday, I went to college, as I promised Anna I would do. I felt like crap, but I still went in. I was quiet all day. Anna/Barbara tried to cheer me up, make me smile, saying things that they thought I'd want to hear, but when the smile didn't come, I could see the discomfort on their face as if though they hadn't suceeded. I appreciate what they try to do, but it's not needed, since it doesn't ever work.
Most of the day, I spent in the computer room, away from the rest of the class and I felt better in there, since even if I was in the classroom, I wouldn't be talking to any of them anyway.
I'm working on modifying my DRAWING, that I did for my exam in Photoshop. I did that for most of the day, and then went home, feeling very tired, and still as depressed.
While I was in the computer room, Anna came to see what I was working on, and she asked if I was coming in tomorrow (as in today) and finish it off. She said "Would you like to", not "Will you" or "Are you". "Would you like to" makes me feel obligated to say yes. Then again, anything would. So, of course, I said yes, I would.
However, earlier on, Michael and Jenny were talking about some trip that they were going on tomorrow (today) as part of their Media lesson to an IMAX cinema in Bradford. I've always wanted to go to an IMAX cinema. They sound very cool. I decided that I wanted to go, and as I was walking out of the college, I passed Alan (my media teacher), I said hi to him and carried on walking, only to remember about the IMAX trip. I shouted him and walked back, asking if I could go and he said yes. I asked him what they were going to see and he said "Uhh, I don't know, we'll just see what's on when we get there". I gave him my �3.20 for the trip and said I'd see him tomorrow.
I walked out of college, waited for the bus and went home.
I talked to Claire last night. I miss her so much. It hurts even more that I can't see her this week and I have to wait another 7 days to be able to be with her. If school and college didn't take up each week day, I'd gladly spend �20 on the train ticket to spend a few hours with her. This week has been so tough for me to get through because of how I've been feeling, and it would of been nice if I could just go round to Claire's and see her, because she always makes me feel better.
I decided to see if I could check what films were on at this IMAX in Bradford, since Alan hadn't had the brains to do so. I found that there wasn't anything on that looked interesting, and so decided that even though I'd paid the �3.20, I wasn't going and instead, I'd just go in college and carry on with Photoshop project.
Around 11:30pm, I went to bed, because I began getting a headache. I set my alarm for 7am, and fell asleep.
In the morning, when I woke up, I decided that since I wasn't going on this trip, and I had no need to be in college at 9am, I'd sleep in for another few hours. Instead, I went back to sleep til 11am, to wake up with a migrain.
A migrain. One of the most uncomfortable things I experience in life.
Upon realising that I now had a migrain, I said to myself that I wasn't going into college today. Infact, it wasn't that I didn't want to, it's that I couldn't.
A migrain isn't just about a sore head. It has a lot of other things associated with it as well. Not only do I get migrain, I get numbness in my hands and face, nausea and blindess. To make it worse, they all manifest themselves in me all at once, making the actually migrain the least of my pain.
The numbness is the worst. I cannot stand it. The migrain, I can put up with. Even the blindness isn't too bad once I close my eyes. The numbness, however, I can't get rid of so easily. It creeps over me so slowly. I feel it starting in my middle finger, and it spreads to the rest of them and then my entire hand. Strangely, it's only the left side of me that experiences this.
While the numbness is working on my hand, it also creeps over my face, again, the left side. I can feel my face becoming tingly, yet numb, especially in the inside of my mouth. The only way I can describe it is it's like it's contracting very slowly without actual pain, but with a lot of discomfort.
By blindness, I don't mean total dark. It's like a film has been placed over my eyes that allows me to see light, but not actual objects. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see objects fine, but straight ahead, everything is just shades of white and oranges.
The only thing I can do when I have a migrain is sleep, and that's made hard by the migrain, so I just have to stay there, hoping it'll stop soon. Unfortunately, migrains aren't like headaches in the fact that they go after a few hours. With migrains, they can last up to around 4 days sometimes. I still have it now, and I'll still have it at this time tomorrow, except thankfully, it'll be quite less severe.
James said he'd call me today, check up on me, but he hasn't. I'm not too bothered though. I'm sure he was too busy or something.
I really should update The Truth Reviews, but I can't be bothered. I have four reviews left to do, and then I can reopen the site, but I just haven't got the will power to do them. I'll get round to them at some point hopefully. I like doing TTR.
This entry is getting too long now and it's boring.
11:13pm
