I'm so glad college starts on Monday. I can't do much more of this. It's making me ill again. It's making me fall into depression again. IT'S FUCKING HORRIBLE. I DON'T LIKE IT. GET ME OUT.
My mum keeps saying that I won't do anything about it, but I don't know WHAT to do about it. She's never any help. She loses her patience too much. I feel like leaving home. To get away from her, from everyone and from everything. I've said this a few times now. I'm sure i'm getting closer and closer to actually doing it, and it scares me because i'm surprised I might actually be capable of going through with it.
I woke up this morning at around 10am. My body wouldn't let me go back to sleep so I reluctantly got up and I sat in front of this computer till around 5pm. IT'S MEANINGLESS. I HATE IT.
I was bored one night so I took some pictures, which I forgot to upload. They're of some tea in a glass, with milk being added to it (forgive them all being very large, but I wanted to keep all the detail in):
Also, this morning, it was frosty. The grass looked lovely, so I took some pictures:
I'm sitting here now. Wondering who, what and where I am, and who, what and where I was last time on the 1st January 2001. THE SAME PLACE COMES TO MIND. Nothing at all has changed.
Who? I am Neil. A 17 year old guy, who is lonely, single and doesn't know how to socialise. I have no emotions, and instead, use analytical responses, without feeling, since I don't know how to use the emotions inside of me.
As for where? I am in Kirkby, Liverpool, in the same bedroom I have been for the past couple of years doing what I've done for the past couple of years. I do not want to go round in this boring circle of doom forever.
Happy new year to everyone who has a good life. For those who don't, I know how you feel.
11:20pm
