I decided to stay awake since I was going to town for my 2pm appointment with Sasha.
The appointment was good. I like these meetings. I think they'll help. We discussed how I feel on a bad/good day. What I could do to help me stop from being in a certain mood etc.
We also discussed this residential thing. It's 6 people (7 including me). 3 guys and 4 girls. We're going to stay in a cabin in Wales for the weekend where we'll do all sorts of activities. It does sound really good and I know that it'll help me in overcoming my fears of socialising. I'm terrified though. Terrified of actually meeting them and even just saying 'hi'. The thought of being away scares me.
Sasha asked me whether I was coming or not and I said yes immediatly, although I do have doubts about it. I do want to go though. I do!
It's just little things that are bothering me. For example, my arms. How will the others react if/when they see the state of my arms? I don't mind them asking me about it, but it's if they stare because they don't like asking. Or, even if they do ask, I won't know what to say exactly.
Another thing is what I'll sleep in exactly. I mean, usually, I'd sleep naked. I always have. But, of course, I won't be doing that if i'm going to be in a room with 2 other guys. I just don't like the thought of being naked in front of anyone, even if I still have boxers on. It's horrible.
And the other thing i'm worried about is food. What the hell will I eat? I mean i'm fussy at the best of times. They're going shopping on the Saturday. I don't even know what I like. That's the other thing thats worrying me.
So mainly three things: Arms, Nakedness and Food. Eek.
I go back to YPAS on Wednesday and I'll get to meet everyone who's going. I'm glad of this.
I still haven't told my mum. I guess I better.
I'm also at YPAS tomorrow to see Carol for my councilling.
YPAS seems to be my everything! lol.
On Wednesday, i'm at the Psychologist's. I only see him about every three weeks. This week seems very full, and I know I'm just gonna be panicing about Saturday and the residential all the time.
As you can see, I've changed the layout of the diary a little bit. Just felt like a small change.
8:41pm
