And, on a related note, her and I were supposed to be going out tonight into town with her friends. Over the weekend, she said that she hadn't heard anything from them so it looked like it wasn't happening. However, I've just recieved a text from her, asking if I was awake to which I replied yes and then she sent me another one, telling me she was drunk. I asked if she had been out.
Yeah, I wasn't going to because I didn't have money but Laura lent me it. I only decided at like 10:30pm that I was going.
I'm confused. She told me that she had not heard anything all weekend from anyone planning on going. Infact, I've just checked my chatlogs and this is what she said:
[22:04:10] Neil: Are you still going to be going out on Monday?
[22:04:20] i'm buried underneath.: Yes.
[22:04:32] i'm buried underneath.: If i hear anymore about it. Which i haven't.
[22:04:41] Neil: Huh?
[22:04:59] i'm buried underneath.: I haven't heard anything about it.
So I thought "Fair enough. We're not going out into town together, no big deal". And yet I recieve a text from her telling me she's just got back from there?
EH?
I can see this just crashing and burning. It's less and less appealing to stay with Hannah these days. But, it's hard to simply let go when she then says things like:
[20:56:59] you're so damn hot.: Cya babe xx
[20:57:04] Neil: Aw. You called me babe
[20:57:12] you're so damn hot.: :D You are my babe.
[20:57:29] Neil: Aww :D You never say that
[20:57:43] you're so damn hot.: I So do ..
[20:57:45] you're so damn hot.: :D
[20:58:15] Neil: You don't so it's lovely to hear it. :)
[20:58:36] you're so damn hot.: BYE BABE!! :D
[20:59:08] Neil: Bye bye baby
See, it doesn't take much to make me feel loved. But that's the first time she's said something like that to me for ages. And when she does say it, it makes me then feel perhaps a little guilty and harsh for wanting to stop seeing her. It makes me rethink my decisions.
Repeating cycle.
In addition, I probably won't end up seeing her this week. Again. Why? Because she has no money. Why does she not have any money? Because she spent it. What did she spend it on? Clothes.
She says she doesn't have any money to come see me until she gets paid.
She gets paid.
She spends it all on clothes.
She says she doesn't have any money to come see me until she gets paid.
Repeating cycle.
Just watch. Tomorrow, I'll ask her if she'd like to come to mine some time this week. Her answer will be something along the lines of "I can't", then I'll ask why, then she'll say "I have no money". I'll then ask when I can see her and she'll say she doesn't know.
Repeating cycle.
