In the end, I didn't go to college today after finally falling asleep around 6am. It was most certainly my own fault for not getting up earlier than 5pm yesterday. I really hope that this isn't the start of another awful term where I have terrible attendance. I suppose it's only me who is to blame if it does turn out like that.

One of the main reasons that I didn't get to sleep until so late is because I was masturbating and playing with my balls. But as I was playing with my balls, I thought I felt something that shouldn't be there and I started to check more. I know I'm probably overreacting and it's nothing, but I'm sure I felt a lump on my left testicle. Well, not actually on it, but moreso underneath it.

I've felt this lump for ages though at times over the past few months and so maybe I'm just thinking it's something when it's nothing, but it got me a little worried and I started to do some research on testicular cancer at 4am last night, trying to work out if what I was feeling was supposed to be there or not. I didn't really come to any real conclusions though and ended up going to bed, thinking about what would happen if I did have testicular cancer. Hardly the best way to get to sleep. Before I did go to sleep, I told myself that I would go to the doctor's, but I don't really want to do that because it's such a personal problem and I don't want to go if I'm just overreacting.

I examined myself again when I woke up today and decided that I must be overreacting. I don't like the idea of going to the doctors and him feeling around down there only to tell me there's nothing wrong. I'd feel so embarassed.

Since I know I've felt what I felt for literally the last two years or so, it can't be anything too bad. But, it does make me worry a little that maybe it's just taking a while to kick in and one day something will happen and I'll start to feel the effects and then regret that I didn't go the doctors. Paranoia though, I'm sure.