[15:02:37] Not good.: Fuck it. I'll tell you what happened. I had unprotected sex with her. A girl I've never met before and who made a promise to her boyfriend (yeah. Open relationship apparantly...) that she wouldn't have sex without a condom.
[15:03:28] Not good.: Before we met, she had said that she was quite fine with not using a condom. I trusted her because she was on the pill. So, when I entered her without a condom and she didn't say anything, I assumed she was ok with it.
[15:04:04] Not good.: But how stupid am I...for not having protected sex. I don't know why the fuck I did it. The condoms were right there. I made such a big mistake.
[15:04:46] Not good.: I spent �65 also on a hotel room for the night. Due to her thinking I'd made her break her promise to her boyfriend (apparantly they're in an open relationship...) she got very upset and very angry at me and of course quite understandably didn't want to stay with me. I didn't particularly want to spend the night in that room either. So I ended up going home and wasting the �65 room.
[15:06:13] Not good.: I thought I was a lot more intelligent than this.
[15:07:08] Not good.: I'm thinking of going the doctors just to make sure I don't have anything.
[15:09:18] Not good.: I feel so fucking disgusted with myself right now. And I didn't even have that much fun in the first place. There was no feeling in it. No emotional connection. It felt boring. I'm ashamed of myself.
[15:11:10] Not good.: You would think that having a naked girl laying on a bed letting you do anything to her would get anyone in the mood and yes, I was horny, but after five minutes, I wanted more. I wanted the cuddling and the unspoken connection between two people and it wasn't there.
[15:12:11] Not good.: In addition to this, I have a 'souvenier' of a 'love' (And what a fucking wrong word to use) bite on my neck from her.
[15:13:14] Not good.: This whole incident has put me off sex at least for quite a while.
[15:16:36] Not good.: She didn't make me laugh. She didn't tell me I looked nice. I was most certainly doing all of the 'work'. I'm always analysing people from the moment we meet and throughout my time with her before having sex, there didn't seem to be any two way attraction.
[15:17:55] Not good.: I tried to go home when I was supposed to. My train was at 6pm. When I did decide that I wanted to go back and I walked with her, she walked in the opposite direction. to the hotel. And when I said that we should go the other way, she then started to convince me otherwise. I'm not saying it's all her fault because I know it's a hell of a lot of mine.
[15:23:21] Not good.: then when the time came to actually go back to the station she walked the other way. "The station is this way", I said. And then she started saying that I'd regret it if I didn't go with her and that as soon as I got in, I'd probably be wanking over her and regret not going with her to the hotel and whatever. We were stood in the middle of the street for about ten minutes while I tried to rationalise going home/going to the hotel.
[15:27:10] Not good.: And then she started telling me what would happen in the hotel room and yes, I got horny and when she said I'd regret it if I didn't go with her I knew she was right. I knew I would have regretted it. The whole 'what if?' thing.

Not good.