The weekend has been eventful.
To be honest, because I haven't written since Thursday, a lot of the stuff I wanted to write about has been forgotten about so although I want to write a detailed entry about each day Sasha's been here, it's kind of hard to. I apologise if this entry doesn't sound as indepth as they usually are when it's something to do with meeting new people, especially when they're staying at my house! I also apologise for seeming quite short in my explanations of things. I just really can't remember everything in chronological order, it seems like it was months ago.
As mentioned in my previous entry, on Thursday, nothing much happens in terms of sexual stuff, but it was nice to have some company for a few days. That night, we slept in the same bed together, or at least tried for a bit, before I decided it was too cramped and I decided to sleep on the floor instead.
Friday was a better day than Thursday, as we were getting to know each other better and felt comfortable lolling about on each other, talking, and being close. We didn't do anything particularly interesting though, in terms of going out. Instead we mostly lay on my bed or sat at the computer. The night proved interesting, however, as for the first time in over two years, physical intimacy with a girl was had. We didn't have sex, but we did give each other oral and whatnot.
However, Sasha didn't seem very into it, which I admit frustrated me a little. I know it's pathetic to get worked up over the sex part, but then I am a pathetic person, I know. Still, I did try to be, well, not me I guess? As in, I was trying hard to ignore the fact that I had all of this horniness inside me wanting to get out.
On Saturday, again, we didn't do much. We mostly watched the Olympics, namely the gymnastics, as Sasha likes them. Lots more cuddling and being close. It was actually really nice to have that with someone. Just sitting there watching TV, cuddling up to someone. I enjoyed it. Also that night, we decided to take a shower together, which was very nice.
To begin with, I thought that Sasha was quite shy and withdrawn from me and at the start, I wondered if she actually liked me, even though we'd kissed and done stuff. It just felt like I was the one making all of the effort, even though she insisted that she did like me.
One of the main things that I disliked about Sasha was the fact that to begin with, she seemed very immature and it really put me off her. Maybe i'm just too serious or something, but I prefer maturity in someone who I want to spend time with.
One of the main things that I liked about Sasha was the fact that after a day or two of getting to know each other, conversation was much easier, as was being around each other. It was enjoyable to be around each other. There weren't that many awkward silences. Another thing I liked about her was her smile. When she smiled, she looked so very cute.
Saturday night, we were messing around with each other in bed when Sasha hinted about having sex. I had wanted to as well, but now that the time had come, I kind of felt scared for some reason. I think it was because it's been that long since I've actually been in that situation that it seemed so weird to once again be in it. After two or three minutes of laying there, running it through my head, I got a condom and tried to get it on. I say 'tried', because that bastard just would not go on. So much for 'easy-on'. I ended up making a mess of that one so I tried to get the other one on instead and I had success with that. However, once I had it on, Sasha then began having second thoughts. She was laying on the bed naked, and I was sitting on the side, now with a condom on, as she pondered over whether she would get pregnant or not. I said that if she didn't want to do it then I'd take the condom off, but she then said she she did want to, but wasn't sure, to which I replied that that must mean that she wasn't ready to do it, and took the condom off, as it was kind of embarassing sitting there with it on, looking silly.
She thought I was annoyed with her at that point, but I really wasn't. I hate the fact that I seem to put too much emphasis on the sexual side of things. I think i'm shallow for it.
In the end, we didn't have sex. I guess I was disappointed to an extent, simply because it was a waste of two good condoms, although one of which was incredibly difficult to get on!
We had said that we were going to get out of the house the next day and were going to go to town to the cinema and also to get some alcohol. However, we're both pretty damn lazy and didn't wake up till about 2pm and didn't actually get up till around 3pm and the film started at 3:45. So that was a no, though I said that we could go to a later one that evening, so we did, once again getting in the shower together and getting each other off in there. From Saturday onwards, we did that every day.
The film we went to see was The Bourne Surpemacy. I had seen The Bourne Identity so was keen to see the sequel, but as I watched it, I noticed something very annoying about it - REALLY bad camera movement. I thought it was perhaps just me being picky about the direction of the film, but throughout the entirety of it, it seemed as if the director had chosen to use freehand cameras for every single scene! It was like motion sickness, watching the camera chase after Matt Damon, even losing focus in many places where it shouldn't really. It was awful. The film/story itself was good, although thinking about, I don't actually think there was that much dialogue involved, but more focus on events instead.
After the film, I asked Sasha if she thought the same thing I did about the shakyness and the blurryness and she agreed, saying she'd noticed it as well. If anyone's seen The Bourne Supremacy, would you care to let me know if you agree with our observations on the camera movement throughout the film?
Although Sasha is a vegitarian, we went to McDonald's after the cinema and I bought her an ice cream. While doing that, we noticed how very little there actually is for a vegitarian to eat in a fast food restaurant. I'd never noticed before now, as i'm very much a meat eater, but for someone like Sasha, and the countless number of other vegitarians, surely McDonald's and Burger King and the like are missing out on a huge market!
By Sunday, me and Sasha were really close and while waiting for a taxi home from McDonald's, we stood outside, my arms wrapped around her waist from behind hugging her. It felt really nice.
Once home, I ordered a ham & pineapple pizza and then Sasha proceeded to pick every piece of ham off it, since of course, she can't eat it. I did find out she's a big fan of cheese though, and she said she loved the cheese on the pizza.
Although Sasha was due to go home today (Tuesday), she had said that she had a college induction today. I had told her on Sunday and over the weekend that I thought it was important she go to it and that she should go home on Monday instead. She didn't want to though, saying that it wasn't important and that she could go another time. Still, I thought it was important that she go, I mean, I'll definitely be going to mine.
Late on Sunday night, we were in bed together and we kind of had an arguement. What about, I can't say, as Sasha reads this diary and she asked me not to write about the details of it, so I won't. However, because of what happened, we ended up going to sleep around 4am and since she was now going to be going home a day early, we had to be up and at the bus station for 11am.
The next morning, I woke up at 8:50am, feeling pretty tired, but managed to wake myself up, before waking Sasha too, but she was reluctant to get up. In the meantime, I called the bus company to see if it was possible to go home a day early on the tickets and they said that she'd have to pay an extra �8.40 to change the tickets, but that wasn't so bad, as I said I'd pay for half of that, since I paid for half of her original tickets as well. I asked if it was possible to change the tickets at the station itself and they said yes.
Sasha finally got up around 9am, before we got into the shower together and then got ready to go. However, we must of spent a really long time in there or something because by the time we got out it was about 9:30am and we had to leave the house at 9:55. All of Sasha's stuff was scattered about my room and it took a long, long while to get it all back into her bags. While she done that, I made breakfast, although by the time I had done that, it was now 9:55 and just as Sasha was sitting down to eat, the cab arrived. So, with toast in one hand, bags in the other, and bags over my shoulder, we set off to town, with not much time to spare.
Once at the station it was 10:50am and her bus was waiting outside, but we needed to change the tickets.
"Hiya, I'd like to change these to travel today instead", I said, handing her Sasha's tickets to be changed. After a minute or two of looking at her computer, she replied, telling us that the only bus available was one that would mean that Sasha would have to spend not eight, but TEN hours on a coach, not to mention �8.40 on changing the tickets. We said we'd leave it and went to sit down.
Sasha thought I was annoyed at her for her not going. I said I wasn't, but she wouldn't believe me. She then said that maybe she should get the coach anyway, but I said that it was no big deal and it just meant that she had one more day here.
So, although it was a kind of wasted trip into town and a rushed one at that, we made the most of it by buying some alcohol, as she had wanted to do and also get something to eat, before deciding to sit on some steps and watch people walk by. I put my arm around her and cuddled her and we just sat there and talked for what seemed like ages and watched everyone. It was really, really nice. I often go to the same spot on my own and sit there and to have someone there with me this time was a nice change.
After about 45 minutes it began to rain so we went home, where lots more cuddling ensued into the night. She was really tired by about 12:30am and apologised for it. I said it didn't matter, although she said that she wanted to be awake, since it was her last night here. In the end though, she fell asleep around 1am and I did around 2.
And then suddenly, I was awoken by Sasha, letting out a long, loud scream at the top of her voice as she suddenly sat up in bed.
"Sasha!?", "Sasha!!", "Sasha, are you ok?!", I shouted at her, jumping up as fast as I could from the floor where I was sleeping, now at the side of the bed, my hands on her sides.
"Put the light on!!!", she shouted, and I did immediatly, wondering what the hell was going on. I was fucking terrified! Two seconds later, and my mum had gotten out of her bed and was shouting up my stairs to see what was wrong. I didn't answer her, busy trying to calm down Sasha, and my mum must of heard me trying to control the situation and went back to bed.
"What's wrong?!", I asked her, "look at me Sasha". She looked at me for a brief second, before laying back down and closing her eyes, leaving me sitting there, on the floor, hands clenched tightly on the side of the bed, scared shitless at what had just happened. I'm serious, that is the scariest thing that I've ever been witness to.
I sat there on the floor, frozen with absolute fear. I don't think she had realised what she had just done.
"Will you give me a hug?", she asked, and I wanted to, but found myself simply unable to move from the sheer fear that had just been installed in me. I honestly could not move from being so scared. You can call me what you like, but hearing that scream out of nowhere at 4am right next to where you're sleeping was VERY scary.
"That was seriously freaky", I managed to say to her.
"What did I do?", she asked and I told her.
"I'm ok now though", she replied. I still sat there, clenching the bed, before she looked at me and managed to give a little laugh and I did too, somehow, before managing to get myself to sit on the bed.
"That...was so scary", I told her.
While reading the above paragraphs, I don't think words can describe how scared I was feeling right then, but believe me, I really have not been that scared. Ever.
"Will you give me a hug?", she asked again, and lay next to her, my arm over her stomach as she lay facing away from me. I had hardly said anything. Words were not coming to my mouth. Thoughts were rushing through my head.
"Are you ok?", she asked me.
"You just really freaked me out"
"What did I do?"
"You just screamed at the top of your voice and woke me, my mum and Laura up"
From the shaky tone of my voice, she was beginning to realise what had happened and although I know it was just a bad dream she was having, and she didn't do it on purpose, it still put the fear of god into me.
She reached for her phone and called her Dad, telling him what she'd just done and began to cry, and then I did too, out of fear, and out of compassion for what she'd just gone through. Once done on the phone, I was crying more than her and she was the one to comfort me! "I'm sorry", I told her though my tears. I wasn't the one who had just had a horrible nightmare, yet I was the one being consoled. I felt horrible that I didn't have the strength to get over my fear of what had happened.
After a while, I said I needed to get some air. My head was stuffy, my heart was beating fast. I needed to get out of my room so I did and Sasha came with me to sit in the living room, watching TV, hardly saying a word to each other.
She asked me if she had annoyed me. I said she had just freaked me out.
We ended up sitting there for an hour, slowly, slowly, returning to a normal state, before returning to my room. She ended up sleeping on the floor with me, as there is enough room for two to do so, and we left a light on as well. I was so very tired by this point, but was terrified to go back asleep incase she done it again. I just lay there, wide-eyed, unable to close them even though I was in need of sleep. Eventually, Sasha went to sleep and it must of been at least an hour more before I did, waking up multiple times at the slightest noise from anything or movement from her, making my heart pulsate for just a second, before trying to return to sleep.
I woke up at 5:30am this morning, unable to fall back asleep, looking at Sasha next to me, peaceful. I didn't actually manage to get back asleep at all before we were due to get up for her to leave today.
In total, I've had about 2 hours sleep all night.
Because I did have some sleep though, I managed to calm myself down a little, and felt ok. Me and Sasha got into the shower together and just hugged in there. It was lovely.
Sasha was even more tired than me, even though she had had more sleep than me, but we eventually managed to get out and go to the station, where we stood in line for the bus, hugging and kissing. Despite any problems which may of been had over the weekend, I've liked having her here and I'll miss her now she's gone back to Scotland.
I gave her one last hug and kiss before she got on the bus and I waved her goodbye as the bus got on its way and I returned home. She's currently on the bus now and will get back in Stirling, Scotland at 7:30pm and home at 8:30pm. Such a long journey.
I took a load of pictures of her over the weekend and some of them are so cute of her. She is really cute sometimes. I'm sure we'll see each other again in a while.
