I was talking to Abigail about it and while telling her that I was on my way to Southport in the morning, I decided to invite her along and surprisingly, she accepted. I was rather glad about that because although I was absolutely fine with going on my own, it's always nice of course to have someone to talk to who you might know, even if it's only slightly.
So, yesterday morning I was off to Southport. I had decided against going to town and getting my artwork printed off as I didn't have time and I didn't want to spend money printing it and also money getting to town as well as Southport.
On the way there, Stan called me. He wanted to know if I was up for going the AJ's with him and the rest of our friends tomorrow (Friday) but once again, I disappointed him by saying no. He tries so much to convince me to come and I want to say yes so much. I don't know what's stopping me. Needless to say, I said no this time as well.
I had agreed to meet Abigail at 12pm at Southport station and within ten minutes of me getting there, her train arrived too.
I didn't actually know where the Southport Arts Centre was. I just knew it was on a specific street, only five minutes walk from the station. That's all. After a few minutes of walking (in the right direction I might add), I asked someone where it was and they pointed me and Abigail to it.
Once inside, we were greeting by a man standing in the foyer who approached us.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"Err...i'm here for..that", and pointed to the sign behind him, which was for Mainstream's party. He then told us where it was, shook my hand and asked my name and Abigail's. We then went up some stairs, signed our name into a register and went in.
Inside it was pretty empty. There was a band on a lowered stage in front of three rows of empty chairs. The band were playing the saxophone and the bongos. It sounded pretty crap really.
I didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing or where I was supposed to be and so like a fool, I stood there with Abigail, talking to her while everyone looked as if they were setting things up. After about ten mintues of standing there making a fool of myself, I finally decided to ask someone if Olga was about and the girl I asked pointed me to her. It didn't look like the woman I thought it was though and I was hesitant to go over because of this but I overcome my fear and went over.
"Hiya, are you Olga?", I asked her.
"Oh, hello. Yes, i'm Olga"
"..." I was kind of stuck for what to say next."
"Did you want me for something?"
"Erm...I..."
"OH! Are you Neil?"
"Yeah"
"Ohhh hiya! I'm glad you could make it. I didn't recognise you, you've grown. So, you gonna help us out today then?"
"Yeah, sure. Uh..what do you want me to do?"
"You know how to use a digital camera right?"
"Yeah"
"Ok well if you want, you can take shots of everything and when you've got a few good ones, we'll upload them onto the projecter over there", she said, as she pointed to a projector, showing images of various things like art and people smiling and laughing.
I followed Olga to get a camera, and went over to Abigail while Olga went to get it. She returned shortly with what looked like a very expensive digital camera. She asked me if I was ok with taking the shots and I said yes and she left me to it. Once again though, I stood there looking like a fool with Abigail, too scared to go and take pictures around this function room we were in. Instead, I suggested we sit down and while the band were playing their crap music, me and Abigail talked about stuff.
After a while of the band playing, they finally packed up and left. Thankfully. Then came the part where I could do nothing but cringe.
A woman introduced the mayor of Southport and he began saying a few words on how Mainstream is making a difference and whatnot and then it dawned on me that Abigail must be wondering why the hell he was on about people who have mental health problems. You have to remember that before I'd met her at Southport, I'd only met her once in person and although I've been talking to her on MSN, she has no idea about any kind of 'problems' I may have or have had in the past. I really don't know why it didn't occur to me that she might find the entire reason we were there strange, but as soon as the mayor began reeling off his speech, I was trying to think of a way to just let Abigail know why exactly he was on about mental health and why we were here.
After he had finished speaking, everyone clapped and he introduced someone else. Her name was Nikki. She began talking from a piece of paper about how hard it's been for her in her life suffering from schizophrenia.
Argh. Now obviously since Abigail was completely in the dark about all of this, I was feeling extremely uncomfortable, as this woman was talking about her problems. Talking about how she used to self harm with razor blades and whatnot. I could feel my ears burning with the discomfort I was feeling. I was trying to think of a way to just explain to Abigail that I had/have suffered from depression and Mainstream were trying to help me get out more, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I just dodged the issue and talked to her about other things, hoping she wasn't feeling too curious.
Eventually, I said I was sorry if she found the day to be boring and that she was free to go at any point because if I was in her position, I'd want to go too. I told her I knew she'd not say anything if she was feeling uncomfortable, but insisted if she felt like going, just tell me and go and I'd be completely fine with it. She said that made her feel at ease more and she ushered me to go and take some pictures while she sat there making paper cranes which I did, but not before saying I felt guilty for just leaving her there.
I didn't actually do much though. I mean, by this point it was only 12:30pm so there was no one there really. There was a table where people were making clay masks, a table for making felt patterns and a table for making paper cranes, along with a table for the projector and the screen.
While taking pictures, the guy who welcomed us at the foyer came up to me and explained that once I had a few pictures, come and find him to upload them to the computer. He said his name was Andrew and he was reassured by the fact that I knew exactly what I was doing, when I said that I'd been doing photography as part of a college course for the past year.
So, after I'd taken a few, he showed me how to upload and set them as a slideshow and he just left me to it after that. I was quite happy holding an expensive camera in my hands and sitting at a laptop uploading images. I kept going back to Abigail of course to make sure she was ok and she seemed content making the cranes.
After a while, a guy came on stage and sang a few songs. He was actually quite good and I liked his voice. There still wasn't that many people there, but it was filling up. It felt very...anticlimatic in a way. To be honest, I was getting bored. Nothing much was happening. It seemed to be a load of people standing about, not knowing each other and just trying to look occupied. I thought that if I was bored then Abigail must be as well.
By about 2pm, it was quite busy and Nikki decided to give her speech again now that there was more people to hear it. After that, chinese food was served on platters which three or four chinese girls served, walking around everyone. I don't really like chinese food though, especially since I didn't actually know what I was eating. Abigail however seemed extremely relieved and gladly accepted when the plates came round. She seemed rather hungry. I asked if she'd like to go and get something to eat outside and although she seemed hesitant, I knew she wanted to really, but was just afraid of saying yes. I think she thought that I'd get offended or something if she told me she wanted to leave. However, by this point, I wanted to leave as well and so we left and I had no intention of returning.
She wanted to find a Subway, but after 10 minutes of searching, there wasn't one so she found somewhere else to eat, before walking and talking. Although it wasn't intentional, we ended up walking up to where all of the arcades were. I couldn't help myself and decided that I wanted to go gamble for a while. Of course, it was short lived and I didn't win nothing and came out of there with my pockets a little lighter than when I went in. I did however, win this strange little clock from a 10p machine. I put at least �2 in the machine though and spent at least �6 in total in there. I'm a fool, I know. Abigail couldn't help herself either though and she too blew money in there. We came out of there hating ourselves just a little for going in there in the first place as we walked back to the station. On the way, I bought some fudge and rock.
We caught the train back together and spent the journey talking to each other. Even though it was only 3:30pm, I was feeling like I just wanted to go back to bed.
She got off at her stop and said she'd talk to me online. My journey was a lot longer than hers was and I finally got home around 4:45pm.
So, it was a pretty crap day really. Maybe it livened up a little after a few hours, but I doubt it really. I felt uncomfortable there. I mean for one, me and Abigail were the only ones there under 35. That made it difficult. And also, even though I had a 'job' of taking pictures, it still felt like everyone was left to just find out themselves what was on offer. No one told anyone what was going on. As for the art that was supposed to be there, it was non existant. About four drawings, well, sketches and that was it.
Also, something I noticed is that Southport doesn't seem to have anyone living there under 65. It's like a city of old people. I think in five years time, the entire city will be devoid of life because everyone will of passed away and there'll be no one to take anyone's place. Strange really, when Southport has so many arcades and a fair and yet all of the young people are nowhere to be found.
Anyway, crap day, but at least I got to know Abigail a little better. It'll make September easier for both me and her when we both know someone on the course already.
That's it from me.
