Hell, I didn't want much from her in the first place, just something light and someone to hug and kiss. But no, she doesn't want that either now. Her reason is that if she got into a relationship with me (WHICH I DIDN'T WANT FROM HER ANYWAY), that if she dumped me, I'd fall into a bad depressive state and start self harming and she doesn't want to be the one to do that. For fucks sake I didn't want her as my girlfriend anyway! I just wanted some physical contact! Hugging! Kissing!
I've been talking to her on the phone for the past twenty minutes, trying to explain to her that the fucking self harm isn't even an issue any more anyway. Now she doesn't want to meet again. 'Let's just talk online for now, ok?'.
Bollocks to it all. Every time I get close to finally having some happiness for while, it gets snatched away from me again. It's fucking amazing how many times it's happened and i'm sick and tired of it. Ok? Sick and fucking tired of it.
