Though I was awake yesterday morning at 9am, I went all the way through till 6am the next morning, breaking my curfew on the way and then breaking it again by getting up at 6:30pm. Why? Because I felt like making a secret diary. Yes, secret, ie, I won't be posting the link.
The diary holds everything that this diary doesn't and although i'm quite open in this diary there are things that I'd like to say that I feel I can't, because of people's perceptions of me changing too much. So I'll write them somewhere secret instead. I wrote an entry in it last night and it felt strangely liberating.
I did make a design for it, which took me about two hours, but then I decided I just wanted it plain and simple and done away with it.
Yesterday, after getting the books from Ste, I began to read one of them, that Katie wanted me to. "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" it's called. It's basically about how to become a happier person. I've not read much of it yet. But, I did happen to read this and it touched me. It's true by the way.
As I was reading the first few pages, on the train home, I heard "What are your studying?", from a guy sitting aside from. I looked up and over at him. "Oh, nothing", I said, "Just reading". I showed him the cover of the book so he could read the title. "Doing your A levels?" he asked me. "No", I replied, "Not doing anything right now". "Working?", he asked, to which I replied no again and went back to reading. I'm curious as to what made him talk to me, when there were others sitting closer to him. I'm a curious person.
Later that night I was flicking through the book some more, reading a few of the notes Katie had wrote, along with the book itself and an envelope fell out with my name on it. A letter from Katie to me, explaining how she believes in me. It's nice to hear those things, even if it is only words on paper.
I think I'll make an entry in my secret diary now. I have a feeling that I'll write a lot in it about various things and it'll soon become as full as this one, even quicker. Maybe someone who reads this diary will come across it and recognise that it's mine. I doubt it, but it could happen. If you do, then, well, I don't care really.
My mini breakdown is slowly passing. Another six months and I will no doubt have another.
9:53pm
