Monday was a very nervous day. I had been feeling nervous all of last week too, but the closer it got to meeting Katie, the more nervous I got as well. I'm glad Chris offered to take me to the airport, since I didn't really feel like making the journey there by train on my own.
Once there, Chris waited in the car and I went to wait for Katie in the arrivals lounge. Her flight was due to arrive at 3:15 and it was 3:05 so I had plenty of time. But, soon it was getting on to 3:20 and still no Katie. I began to panic. I began to think she wasn't coming. That I might of screwed up with the details. Panic panic. I asked the guy waiting at the arrivals door about the flight and he said it hadn't landed yet so my senses returned to me slightly.
"Belfast intl - Landed at 3:45" began flashing on the board. My heart began beating faster once again, as I knew that I was either going to be greeted by a lovely Katie, or that something had gone wrong and not be spending four days with her afterall.
The mass of people came began coming out of the arrival's door and I began searching for Katie. People kept getting in the way of my line of sight. But, finally, through a crowd of people, I saw her, looking as lovely as ever and looking round for me. I walked through the crowd to greet her, smiling at her. I put my arms around her and gave her a big hug and it was at that point that all my nervousness melted away.
Chris took us home and for that evening we basically just lounged about. Watching a bit of TV. Talking. Just normal stuff. It was very strange having someone to do it with, even if it was normal stuff.
Later on we ended up watching the second half of Speed, which she hadn't seen in the living room. My mum was out with Paul (her boyfriend). After that we were both pretty tired so we attempted to carry the fold up bed up my stairs. However, being the stupid person I am, I then realised that not only was it a double bed, but that it would never fit in my room in a million years. Not to mention the fact that it was liking carrying a ton weight vertically. Not good. So that idea was scrapped.
I said that I could just get some covers and a pillow and sleep on the floor, or if she didn't mind that we could just share the bed. She said she didn't mind so we fell asleep in the same bed together. It was so strange to be sharing my bed with someone. The only person who has ever shared my bed with me is of course Claire and to be sharing it with Katie was strange because it isn't a relationship thing.
We woke at some point or another the next morning and lay in bed for a bit. It's hard not to admire her. She always looks so beautiful, even when she's just woke up.
I then gave her her next surprise, which was that I was going to be taking her to dinner later that day. She smile and was excited and I was glad that I could make her happy. So later that day that's what we did. A lovely meal in town. I've wanted to do that for a long time with someone. I enjoy making people happy and treating them. Making them feel special.
Later that night my mum and Laura went out for New Year's Eve. Me and Katie just watched TV till 12, until we heard the fireworks being set off. We went over the window to watch them. "Happy New Year" I said to her, and gave her a hug. "Thankyou for coming over" I said to her, before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Thankyou for inviting me", she replied.
Katie lay on the bed, curled up, as I got undressed for bed. But, by the time I had, she'd fallen asleep on the bed, rather than in it and I didn't have the heart to wake her. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. I gently took her glasses off and covered her up, before going to get some covers for myself so I could sleep on the floor, which I didn't mind. When I returned, she was still sleeping and I couldn't help but just watch her for a while, tilting my head and smiling. She looked so prettiful. I can't deny that I wanted to kiss her so much, but of course, I couldn't do that. "Goodnight" I whispered to her, before kissing her on her forehead and falling asleep.
Next day was really a day of lounging again. She was quite happy at the fact that the computer was on 24/7 and she began talking to my friends on MSN, and then hers on her account. It seemed as if everyone she was talking to was in a relationship and reading about how happy they were was making me sad. "Are you ok?" I asked her to which she replied she was. I sighed. "I'm feeling quite depressed all of a sudden", I said, before deciding to lay on my bed and look at the ceiling.
Shortly afterwards she logged off MSN and looked over at me. I looked back at her, not knowing what to say. I just sighed again. I sat up and looked at the floor and then at her. "I need a hug" I said to her, with my arms open. I stood up as she did and she put her arms around me and then I began crying.
"I don't even know why i'm crying", I said to her, still in her arms. "It's ok", she replied, rubbing my back. I just held her close to me and continued crying. "I'm sorry", I told her. "I shouldn't be doing this while you're here". "It's ok" she said again, "It's what best friends are for".
I stopped crying after a while and we lay on my bed facing each other. "My life sucks", I told her. "It's what you make it" she replied.
The conversation continued for a while, and then it was unfortunately interrupted by Laura wanting to go on the net so I had to dry my eyes and act normal. I put the TV on and I tried to look ok, but it wasn't working and in the end, I told Katie I was going the toilet, but I went there to cry for a while.
When I returned I sat on the bed and looked at Katie. Trying to manage a smile but it wasn't working really. After a while, Laura came off the net and we were left by ourselves again. "Are you ok?" She asked me, to which I replied yes. "Are you really ok?", she asked me to which I replied "I never am".
Eventually throughout the night I began to lose the depression slightly.
We decided to go see a film that night called Deathwatch, but it was pretty crap sadly. Still, it was better than sitting in the house and being depressed more.
I managed to take some pictures of her. Woo. You can see all of the pictures in the archive.
When we got back we talked for a bit on the bed, before getting in it and falling asleep, except Katie was too awake and was texting as much as ever. 2am, 3am, still texting. Then she felt like falling out the bed for some reason and began texting from the floor. In the end, she ended up falling asleep in the foetal position on the floor and I fell asleep watching her.
And so to Thursday. The day she had to leave. *sigh*
I gave her a long, long hug before we went to town. She was gonna get some things for her family, but the decided against it and so we continued on to the airport, where we sat in the cafe for an hour or so till she had to go to the departures lounge.
We went into a gift shop and had a look round. Katie said she had to go the loo so I continued looked around and once she'd left the shop, bought her a magnet that said "If friends were flowers, I'd pick you first". I gave it to her once she came back and she was smiling lots. Yay.
And so the time came when I finally had to say goodbye to her. I held her in my arms for as long as possible, before giving her a kiss on the cheek. I watched her walk away from me and I felt my heart sink, and yet, rise too, because I'd had such a nice time with her. I began walking back with a smile on my face.
Before I went home, I decided to blow some money in the arcade. I spent �6 in there and won �5. Pah.
Then made the long journey home, alone. I felt so sad and happy at the same time.
I think I stayed up till around 2am, before getting into my empty bed.
This morning, the first thing I thought was that I was alone in my bed. Pah. That was then accompanied by me feeling extremely dizzy for no reason. Eventually I got up and life returned to normal.
Earlier on today, I spoke to Katie online for a while and I apologised for not being good company and also for crying. "Ooh, btw, I left you a letter!", she said to me, a while after we'd been talking. "Where!?", I replied, but she wouldn't tell me and so I searched my room for the letter but couldn't find it. She said she had to go after a while. "Look under your games", she said, then signed off.
I looked and sure enough, there was a few sheets of paper folded up. I sat down and began to read.
Once reading, I realised that she'd began writing the letter 24th December and had kept a kind of mini diary for a few days. As I continued reading, I began to smile so much at the things she was writing to me. I began to cry with happiness. Happiness that someone could care for me like she does.
The last page was a page she had written while she was here, thanking me for inviting her and telling me that she had had a nice time and hoping that this year will be a happy one for me.
I wrote her an email after that, telling her how much I appreciated the (8 page!) letter and how much I love her and care for her. My email was probably 8 pages too, since it was quite long.
So it's been a pretty nice week and for the first time ever, I had someone to celebrate the new year with me. I had someone there for me. I had soemoen who cares for me. I have my best friend, Katie.
I love you.
9:55pm
