What, you weren't excited?
Anyway, no college today. Again. I know that when I do go in tomorrow (and I HAVE to go in, otherwise they're gonna kick me off) they'll have a moan at me. Hopefully though I haven't missed too much and I can catch up from people's notes, since we have that dreaded 4 hour break.
Less than a month now till Katie comes over from Ireland. I can't wait to see her.
God my entries are so drab. I have no idea what to write.
Ok, time to write about feelings I guess.
Currently i'm feeling ok actually. Not too bad, not happy, just, ok. Nothing has upset me today or indeed excited me. Shame really, would of made a better entry wouldn't it?
I do feel lonely though. Even friendship wouldn't be that bad right now. Someone pysichally here I mean to talk to. Words on a screen just don't convey as much emotion as I need it to.
I'm also feeling release I think. Feelings of getting over Claire. She's signed my guestbook twice within the past week although i'm not sure if it's her or not really. Either way, whoever it is doesn't really bother me now. Feel free to sign again, I don't care. They'll only get deleted because it's a waste of space in my guestbook more than anything. I really am almost over her completely.
I'd say I still love her. I'll always love her in a way. Always be part of my memories and feelings. I don't love her no more though in the sense that I have feelings for her if that makes sense? They're gone now and the entries that were left in my guestbook no longer hurt me. If anything, they probably cause you more discomfort now.
And with that, I guess I feel a sense of achievement too.
I know it's just the 'ok mood' feelings talking, but right now, I feel like things will get better in time. No, wait, that's too optimistic for me. Scrub that. What I mean is that (and this is my mood talking) if I continue college, I'll socialise more with the people there. If I do that, then perhaps I'll somehow manage to get to know other people too and from that form new friendships and in turn, find what I really want. Love.
I know I'll find it at some point in my life. It's against the odds not to. I know that it won't be any time within say, the next month or two though. It takes time doesn't it, to form a relationship with someone, even if it's a friendship. Maybe in three months time I'll be saying 'I love her so much and we're happy together' once again. Maybe I'll be saying 'I had such a great time with my friends today'. I know it's possible, but I know I have to make it happen. I know it will in the end.
I think I'll quit this entry while i'm ahead.
1:17am
