Today I went to enroll in college, but not before having the 'too scared to go outside' fear come over me like it did last year. God I hate me. I got feelings of being scared, not being able to go catch the bus and phantom pains in my stomach.
After two hours (yes, two hours) I managed to go and catch the 30 minute bus to Roby college where I asked the receptionist where to enroll. She pointed me over to a few tables and I asked there about enrolling.
I expressed my want to take my GCSE's, although I wasn't quite sure if that's what I really wanted to do. She asked me if I'd like to see a guidance counsellor and pointed me towards Student Services where I saw Ken. Ah, a familiar face who knows my circumstances.
We sat down and discussed how things had been and what I'd like to do this time around. Again, I expressed my want to do my GCSE's, but, unfortunately he said I couldn't do them. So there went plan A and I didn't have a plan B.
He said I couldn't do them because they only offer them to people who have actually sat them and only just missed out on a C or above. Since I didn't take them at all, there goes that hope.
So, he suggested Media Studies. I done Media Studies last year as part of the art course. God it was boring. Everything (by everything I mean 98% of what he was teaching) I knew already. That's not being big headed, it's just a fact and really, i'm sure most people could do it, but they couldn't. Who knows why.
With this in mind, I said yes. I said yes, because last year, it was only an add on to the art course, and I was hoping that this time, since it was a full course that it might delve deeper.
Ken said he'd take me through to see the Media tutor, who I had last year. Alan. I don't dislike Alan, but I don't particularly like him either, because he's a pushover. Gives people too much leeway and also, he's unsure of himself.
He looked a bit surprised to see me. I said hi and Ken left me with him. He didn't tell me anything about the course really, but rather whether he thought I was suitable for it. He said he was thinking about putting me on the basic course and I thought 'God no. NO!' The basic course is what I was on last year, and as the name suggests, it was simple, so I didn't want that.
He then said perhaps the advanced course was better for me and of course this was much more appealing to me. He said that he remembered a piece of work I done. It was a review on The Matrix with all the points that I had to include. He said he was very impressed with that and because of it, thought I could handle the advanced course. I already know this anyway, just had to get him to believe it.
After a small discussion with himself (I mean, I didn't say anything really, just the odd 'yeah' 'uh huh') he said he was gonna put me on the advanced course.
He told me to go get an enrollment form in the next room and so I did. Got my picture taken, with the appropriate details on the form and came back. As I walked back in to the room, I saw three or four people my age talking and in the middle this lovely looking girl. I didn't stop of course, but went back over to Alan and gave him the form. He signed it, I did. He gave me a booklet about the course and said he'd see me on Monday. My induction is on Friday.
On the way out I saw the girl again, but again, I wouldn't be me if I went up to her and told her how nice she looked. If only one day I could.
Once that was over and done with, I went home. By this time it was around 4pm and since I hadn't got that much sleep, I went back to bed around 5 till 7:30.
I'm glad that I've chosen to go to college and it's all sorted, but what i'm not exactly hopeful about is meeting people. Well, I know I'll meet people, but it's whether I'll get on with them. The course only has 14 people on it, so I have at least a 1 in 14 chance of making a friend.
The thought of 7am wake ups and 11pm bedtimes isn't nice, however, I'll gladly do that if it means I have a social life.
You see how much my entries change when I've actually done something in the day?
1:50am
