I don't want to lose Claire, damnit. I don't want to lose her! I cannot handle not being with her. It'll just be too much for me. I need her! My love for her is too strong to just let her go. I can't do that. I don't care if she's in college, there has to be a way we can still see each other.
If two people love each other then why the hell should they be apart? Above all else, love is what matters in this world and I have found it. I don't feel strongly about many causes but I just can't let this die. No.
I was hoping Claire might come up to mine this Saturday. She hasn't asked her mum yet though. She doesn't think she'll say yes either. She doesn't want to tell her that she wants to be with me still. That frustrates me.
She said that I could see her of a Wednesday when her mum is at work. I don't want to do that. I don't want a relationship in secret and one that only lasts less than a day a week. No. That's not right. And what about when she does start college? I couldn't do that then.
I realise we all need jobs. I realise we all need to go to college. What I don't get and I never will is why this life is so fucking cruel that the one I love is just two hours away and yet those two hours mean I can't see her as often as I like! It's hurting me so much.
If I can't be with her throughout college, then we could at least have two more months together with each other before college starts, surely? Surely 2 months of happiness is better than none at all?
I want her to come up this weekend. If her mum says no, then that's like the final say. If I were her, I'd just come anyway, because that's how strongly I feel about this. I know she wouldn't do that though, unfortunately.
I need to be her. Life just wouldn't be the same without her. Just wouldn't be the same...
1:35am
