Yes, I realise it's all been said before and this time is no different. I won't say "this time is different" or "I'll try harder", because to be honest, I won't. I'm just hoping that now I've had a few weeks away from college, I can return and get on with it.
However, the main reason that I haven't been going to college in the first place still remains - the people. They're just not interesting to me. I get on better with myself than I do with them, simply because I don't have anything in common with them. There's them and there's me. They're all the same (and i'm not exaggerating) and then there's me who doesn't act, talk, or even look like them.
Of course, you could argue that no one acts/talks/looks the same, but they all do. Honestly. They all like the same kind of music (and aren't open to any other genre), the majority dress the same and all of them talk the same. Not only in the slang they use (which I hate), but also what they actually talk about. It's all so so boring.
Kirsty was slightly different to them all. She at least had some sort of original personality that I liked and could enjoy, but with her leaving, there is now a void. One that isn't going to be replaced with someone who I can communicate well with.
The work itself is fine. I have no trouble getting on with it and I suppose you could say that that's a good thing, but at the same time, college isn't just about working. It's about socialising and having fun and just basically being alive. I don't feel alive, though. I need people to interact with and there are none.
I will go to college tomorrow. I'll do the work that I need to do. I'll come home 7 hours later and repeat the next day. I make it sound very boring don't I? Because it is, yet this is what I have to do in order to do something else in years to come.
That's what life seems to be about - accquiring. Get a job, get money, get a house, get a car, get this and get that. Why? Because it's the done thing. If you don't do it, you don't succeed in life, but how is living a life only to strive for something you'll never actually get succeeding?
People work for 40/50 years of their life to earn a 'living', when really, those precious days, weeks, months and years could be spent appreciating the things that people already have. Just the things that are around us/me already. Birds. The sound of rippling water. Someone's laugh. A blue sky. A lightning storm. All these things mean more to me than a well paid job. I find more happiness in watching a raindrop fall than spending money on something to try and fulfill a want.
Of course, you could always say that if people didn't have money then nothing would be as it is now and I agree. If I didn't have money, I wouldn't be able to get a ticket to see Claire for example. If my mum didn't have money, I'd never have got a PC and the Internet and I'd never be writing in this diary in the first place.
Money does have a purpose, however, I think society is so fixated with accquiring money that it's lost the will to just live, and is instead living to work.
I don't want to be like this. Ever.
10:00pm
