He brought it back the next night and set it up. It seemed to be working fine. And then all of a sudden it wouldn't work properly and Windows wouldn't load up. Neither of us had any idea what was wrong with it. In the end it turned out that the 30gb hard drive had died, and it was only 2 months old. This meant that he had to take the HD with him which subsequently meant that I still didn't have a PC. What was worse was that he had to send the part back to Germany and that would take 4 days! I felt sick at this point. Not having a computer for so long is like taking my entire life away from me. It's just not a good thing to do. I told my mum that I was gonna feel awful without a computer and she (kind of) understood. She rang round to see if there was anywhere where I could lend one from, but unfortunatly there wasn't. I spent Thursday and Friday totally bored. I have nothing else but the computer to keep my mind occupied and when that goes, my mind goes with it.
I played on the Playstation for a while but that didn't really keep my attention for long. I went online with the Dreamcast (which I hate doing) just incase I had any important emails or something but I didn't.
Then on Saturday my cousin rang me to say that he was gonna ask someone who knew could he lend me his laptop. Unfortunatly, it turned out he couldn't, but, fortunatly, my cousin decided to lend me his and he came round yesterday to drop it off and set it up for me which I am so thankful for.
Hopefully the 30gb HD will arrive this week and I'll have my computer back, but for now, this laptop will fulfill my needs as I only really use the net to talk to people. Without that I really feel the solitude get to me.
Last week I had an appointment with Ken. I had expressed an interest in going back to College to my mum and she organised an appointment with Ken. Basically he rang Roby College about an Art & Design course they had there and today I went to check it out. The first challenge was actually getting there. Thankfully, my mum went with me, otherwise I would have had no chance.
As we were walking down the road to the College, I seen two people I knew from school. I was kind of expecting to see people who I knew there. I said hi as I passed them.
My mum asked a guy for directions to the College as we were walking down the road. My mum has a noticeable speech disability. She said "Do you know.." and the guy laughed and walked off on her! I thought that was so ignorant of him. Absolutely terrible!
Thankfully, she asked someone further on and she was more helpful.
I then seen someone else I knew and said hi to them too. They seemed totally surprised to see me hehe. Very strange reaction.
We got there right on time to meet Ken, who then walked us both to meet Anna Martin, the course tutor. She is really nice. Not what I had imagined, but then I didn't have a picture of her in my mind anyway.
She explained what the course involved and all of it appealed to me. She said that part of the course involved drawing a naked model!!! Well that should be erm...interesting, shouldn't it!?
We sat talking to her for around an hour in the classroom where the others where working. She showed us round it and the drawings on the wall were so cool. They were drawings of the model they drew and some of them I was really impressed with. I think it'll take me time to start drawing like that but i'm willing to learn.
What I am glad about is that there was no one I knew on the course, although there was only half of the class there at the time. I seen what looked like a register and had a quick scan through it to see if I recognised any of the names. I recognised one of them, but no one who I knew personally.
Anna asked me when I wanted to start and I said as soon as possible. She asked would I like to come and see her next week and have a proper talk with her so I said ok. Then she asked if I'd like to come tomorrow and see what they were doing. Although I was definitly not ready for it, I said yes, and I will go. I don't think I will be ready ever so I'm just gonna force myself into it.
She said that part of the course is based in Photoshop. She took me through to meet another tutor...I can't remember her name. Anna explained to her that I loved working in Photoshop. The tutor asked me what version did I have at home and I said 6.1. She was surprised, since they only have 4. She asked me what I was capable of doing in Photoshop and I said that I had a website with all my stuff on it. Unfortunately, she wrote down www.orbitalfusion.port5.com and that won't work, whereas http://orbitalfusion.port5.com will. Ah well, I'll show it her some other time.
So, looks like i'm gonna be a student at Roby College as of well, tomorrow I guess.
A lot has to be changed around because of this as well unfortunately. I had 3 appointments at YPAS this week, and they all have to be cancelled, since i'm going to College. Plus one of them was a massage which I was really looking forward to :(
I was also gonna have a driving lesson with John on Friday, but if i'm at College, I can't. Argh. I REALLY wanted to do that.
I hope that somehow I can learn how to drive and eventually get my own car because it would be so much easier to drive to College rather than get the bus which takes 30 minutes. I mean I don't mind getting the bus really, but it's a fair walk from the bus stop to College. And I'd just like to be able to drive anyway.
John and my mum were saying about how I should send my provisional application and how I should get a move on etc, and yet I've done that now, and it won't even pay off since I probably won't be able to do the driving lessons with John and even if I go so far as to pass my test, I still won't have a car, nor any money to buy one. So I'll be where I am now which makes me just a bit angry...
College is gonna be extremely difficult for me I think. The socialising side of it mainly. Hopefully the class isn't too big though and hopefully now that they've all seen me anyway, they'll at least be kind of used to me and me used to them.
I explained to Anna that I self harm and she was very understanding about it. I guess I'll just have to wear a jumper for now until I perhaps tell them about it.
It's gonna be very weird getting up at like 7am again of a morning. I know I can do it though. That's not a problem.
I'll get EMA once I start the course too which will be �35 per week which will really help me. Anna said that I should spend it on supplies like pencils pens etc, but i'm hoping that some of it can go in my pocket and maybe that way I can save up for things I've been wanting to buy for ages. What those things are i'm not quite sure.
Also, maybe this XNetwork thing will work out as well. And maybe that will pay for a car.
Who knows.
I can only hope I guess.
6:59pm
