Yeah, very cool!
Talked to her last night and I just couldn't stop smiling. So much so that my jaw was beginning to hurt lol. I am just so happy that she likes me. As a friend, and as something more than that. Then I started crying cos I just find it hard to believe that she does actually like me and that she considers me a friend. It's just something that I'm totally not used to and it's a lovely feeling.
I also started crying due to the thought of her ever not being around. It terrifies me. It really does. She's my soul mate and I don't know what I'd do without her. She makes my life so much better and if she were to ever leave it, well, I don't know...
Still, the thought of meeting her on Saturday is enough to dispel that thought for now and i'm concentrating and the thought of getting to hug her and kiss her once more.
Sometimes I don't even want to sleep, because I like thinking about her. My mind is so active when it centres around her. Nothing else matters to me, but Natalie. I love her.
I'm going back to YPAS today at 6pm for the self harm group. I'm not looking forward to it. Sitting there trying to discuss something that I don't like discussing.
Before that, I'm going to see a girl about that leaflet I picked up last time I was in YPAS. She said she might be able to get me in if I go to see her before Friday, so i'm going today. I think that will actually be better than a full time course. A full time course might be too much for me at the minute.
John thinks I'm gonna be back home before Tuesday next week to go and see Carol, my councillor lol. No chance. He also thinks i'm going to come back before Thursday next week for the next self harm session. Ha! Going to see Nat will do me much more good than any amount of sessions will. All he/mum sees is something completely different.
Having said that, I will come back for my psychologist appointment on Friday, even though I dont want to because it'll be pointless since it's only to see how i'm doing. Nothing full on. I'm coming back though then cos at least it's for certain that Thursday I come back, and Natalie doesn't get bored of me cos i'm there too long lol.
It feels like it's Christmas :)
10:28am
