Nail tacks are only good for piercing the skin, not for cutting, so I decided that I needed something else...ie a blade. I went into the shed and had a look round and I found two. I started cutting in the shed and then found better nail tacks as well. I brought these back to my room and SI'ed for nearly two hours.
I have chunks of flesh missing from my arm now, in places so far. It's very strange. The blade is so much better than a nail tack. I've cut on both arms, and on my leg with it. I guess it's almost a novelty, in a weird way.
In 12 hours I go to see another doctor about me. I'm nervous. Thankfully, it won't be Dr Murugananthan again. I don't know what I'm gonna say though. I always feel under pressure in situations like that and I can never think straight about what I'd like to say. I hope I manage, because help isn't coming thick and fast and I need this help. If I don't manage to talk tomorrow, I don't know what I'll do.
I take pictures of my arm. You probably think this is strange, but I do it so that I can see how my arm is changing, whether for the better or for the worse (obviously it's for the worse for now). I am tempted to upload them and provide links to them, but this would only be for my benefit, not yours. However, due to the severity of my arm, the pictures might be a little unsuitable if anyone is squeamish who reads my diary, and although I'd obviously provide a warning about the link, curiosity almost always prevails. This is why I choose not to upload them, instead keep them offline in a secret folder.
My life seems busy at the moment...but it is definitly not the kind of business I want/ed.
12:35am
