He came to mine yesterday. I did not like it.
He's strange.
He talked to my mum for a bit, then he talked to me on my own. He asked me "How can I help you?"...is he not supposed to know that!? Not me!
He's strange.
He said he'll talk to a psychologist about me (he's a psychiatrist btw).
Here's where the fun starts...
Dr Verma thinks I need a psychiatrist, Dr Cashin, my other GP, thinks I don't need a psychiatrist, but rather a psychologist. Dr Murugananthan thinks I need a psychologist also, but Dr Verma told Dr Murugananthan than I need him, because he's a psychiatrist and that's what Dr Verma thinks I need. Confused? Good good.
So as it stands, Dr Murugananthan is going to speak to a psychologist about me and what happens after that I do not know.
I keep picking my scabs. I pulled the scab on my leg completely off, making it bleed a lot. I had a towel with loads of blood on it that came from various pickings and I was hesitant to tell my mum about it because she'd probably think I'd been opening a vein or something. Thankfully once I'd told her, and showed her it, she wasn't bad at all. I have a bit of blood on my bed as well, from my leg bleeding. Fun eh?
Bleh.
I'm so tired. I went to bed yesterday at 12pm, and was then woke up at 4pm because Dr Murugananthan was here, then I went back to bed at 6pm because I couldn't keep my eyes open, then I woke up at 6:30am, and I'm still awake now (7:30pm). I don't know how much longer I can stay awake for, yet I want to because I really want to talk to certain people, if they're online. I said I would yesterday, but was too tired to come online, and slept right through the night. It seems as if it will be the same tonight as well, although I am trying my best to stay awake till at least 11pm.
Dr Murugananthan is strange.
Thankfully I won't be seeing him again, because even my mum thinks he is.
More has happened in the way of doctors in the last week, than in the last 6 months and all because of a few cuts on my arm. Personally, I think there's more pain in my mind than on my arms, but since the doctors can't see what's going on in my mind, they can only see what's on my arms. I wonder whether it's actually a good thing, that I have/do self injure in a way, because it seems like more gets done about me, than when it was just my mind that was hurting. Strange...
7:32pm
