I don't think I've ever actually mentioned her in my diary, but I know a girl called Tamsin online. She messaged me via my Meal With Neil website and we began talking. I also began talking to one of her friends too, Kate, although I didn't actually know it was her friend up until about three months ago. Three weeks ago, Tamsin said that she'd be coming up to Liverpool so we arranged to meet up.
She arrived in Liverpool on Sunday and she said she'd call me when she was free to meet up and today we did. However, it nearly didn't happen, as I was feeling incredibly tired. I somehow managed to sleep an amazing 14 hours and get up at 10pm, meaning that I could get to sleep when I tried to at 9am the following morning. Eventually I did, but only till 11am. By 1pm, I had called Tamsin to ask if there was any chance that we could meet up Saturday instead, simply so I could have some sleep and actually be alert enough to meet her. She said it was either today or not at all. She said she'd meet me at 5:30pm, which meant that I could still have a little sleep before I went.
When I awoke at 4pm, I was feeling terrible. I managed to get ready and go, however, dozing off to sleep on the train to town. She is staying at a youth hostel with Kate and also another friend of them both, Katie. I don't know Katie though.
When I finally got there, it was around 5:45pm. I saw her nearby where we said we'd meet and she was with someone guy who I didn't know. I said hi to them both and she introduced the guy to me as 'Sheggs'. The first thing that struck me was just how hyper she was! As i'm sure you know by now, i'm definitely not hyper at all and so there was a definite personality clash there. However, it didn't bother me that much until she decided to play a game called 'yellow car', whereby you supposedly hit someone when you see a yellow car. That's just silly. And uhh, painful?
Me, Tamsin and Sheggs walked to where she and the other two were staying. Once in the room, I said hi to Kate and Katie and we all just sat in there talking, or rather, the three girls talked lots about nothing and me and Sheggs just kind of sat there bemused. I was seriously amazed at just how hyper all three of them were, coupled with the fact that Kate and Katie were drunk too.
They kept asking me whether I was bored. I guess I was really. I mean, i'm not a sociable person and to be honest, most of the time i'm actually quite ok with that, but when you have three girls who are incredibly hyper, I guess i'm kind of a big drag on their fun.
Kate asked me if I liked girls kissing. I said sure. She asked Sheggs, he agreed. She asked if we'd seen girls do it, I said no, he said yes. Kate and Katie then decided to change this by Kate sitting on Katie's lap and then proceeding to snog her lots. Fun. I'm sure if it were any other guy, they'd be amazed and mesmorised, but it's not life changing for me. Yes, girl on girl is good, but not anything fantastic. While they were doing this, Tamsin was trying to tell me something. I'm was more interested in listening to what Tamsin had to say that watching them two kissing really.
After a while, we all went back downstairs and outside. Kate and Katie wanted to smoke. Tamsin seems to enjoy talking to absolutely anyone as long as they'll listen. Just complete random strangers. I guess that's a good thing. I kind of wish I could do that actually.
Outside, there were these two American guys who were on their way to Stratford. All three of them took an interest in them straight away. Soon after, Sheggs decided to go home, leaving me and three incredibly hyper girls talking to two American guys, with me being very, very quiet. No one was talking to me. I guess I wasn't talking to any of them either. They were content with the two American guys.
After a while, I felt pretty bored and uncomfortable and knew that whether I was there or not, it wouldn't make much difference so I decided to leave. But, I did manage to take a picture of Tamsin [Link removed by request] and one of Kate and Katie [Link removed by request]. Kate's in the foreground, Katie in the background.
I said that I was going to go and I hugged Kate and Katie goodbye. Tamsin walked me to the gates of the hostel and we hugged and said goodbye. She said she was sorry that Kate and Katie had been drunk, but regardless of whether they were, I knew that I wasn't particularly good company, since i'm so quiet.
I made my way back to the train station, through the empty park. For some reason, it seemed very ominous to me, which is why I took the picture.
I got home around 9pm and came on here. It felt like a relief to get home. Call it comfort, I guess. Familiar surroundings.
And that's pretty much my day.
It's now 5:34am and i'm going to get in bed after I write this entry.
Oh, I do have one other piece of such sad news. Remember Mairead, the girl I met in town a few weeks ago who I thought was absolutely gorgeous? Well she has been seeing some guy now for a while and she got herself pregnant. At first she was really worried, and then really happy about it and so was he. We haven't really talked since we met up, however, so I didn't really know what was going on in her life up until two days ago when she messaged me.
[16:11:14] Neil: Been up to much? Anything new?
[16:13:39] Blinded By The Silence Of 1000 Broken Hearts: yeah i was in hospital the other week
[16:13:47] Neil: Why's that?
[16:13:56] Blinded By The Silence Of 1000 Broken Hearts: i had a miscariage
How fucking sad is that? I was lost for words. What on earth can you possibly say to help someone through that? She said she was feeling awful. Lost. Empty. I said that I would happily listen to what she had to say, be there for someone to talk to if she needed it.
[16:21:24] Neil: Do your friends know? [16:22:44] Blinded By The Silence Of 1000 Broken Hearts: only close friends but i feel i can tlk to you more because you are impartial
[16:23:22] Neil: Me as in me personally or people online?
[16:23:38] Blinded By The Silence Of 1000 Broken Hearts: u personally
I don't know why she feels that she can talk to me. I mean, before we met up, we did talk, but it was definitely close friendship conversation so i'm pretty confused as to why she thinks she can confide in me. I mean, she can, and I'll help her all I can, but still, confusing.
I know that she's never going to forget about it, but I hope that she is somehow able to get through it and carry on with her life.
