If there's one thing I CANNOT stand, it's migrain, and the things that come with it. Or at least come with it for me. It's not even the banging head that's the problem. It's the fact that I can't see properly and also, sometimes, I get numbness in my hands and face. VERY HORRIBLE!!! Migrains - The worst thing ever. Thankfully it's gone now because I took two Anadin early on to stop it from progressing. Phew.
Around 6pm I cut. Like, properly cut. Proper slashes. Not just small cuts. I have all these opening on my left arm. Not big enough for stitches, though. Well, one is. The last one I did. It bled and bled and bled...for 3 hours. There's a towel soaked in blood, and it's only about 3-4cm in length. I've got a makeshift bandage on it right now, consisting of a hankerchief and some of that crape bandage stuff, since we haven't got any dressings. My mum said she'll buy some.
It could use stitches, but I'm not going. It can heal on it's own.
I'll have to keep the hankerchief on for now because all that's stopping it from bleeding more (and i'm sure I knicked a vein slightly) is a thin film of dryed blood. The slightly knock might set it off again so I'll keep it covered for now.
What I've never noticed with blood is how large quantities of it actually smell. It's a horrible, but discreet smell. Just thought I'd mention it.
I'm going to see Ken tomorrow. I'm actually glad of this. I could use someone to talk to face to face. The stupid thing is though is that one I am face to face with him, I won't be able to think of what I want to say.
I was talking to Natalie last night. She said about how I'm one of her best friends. I read that and just felt so 'honoured' I supposed the word is. I felt good that I mean something to her, and (if you're reading this Nat) she means a lot to me.
I've decided to do an experiment on myself. I'm going to stop taking Prozac for a week to see if I notice the effects of not having it in me. I' started this test yesterday, since I forgot to take the pill, but I'd been thinking about not taking it anyway. I'll put myself back on them on Monday.
I'm really tired right now. As I just said i'm seeing Ken tomorrow, so I'll have to go to bed.
1:24am
