Gravity, is working against me
And gravity, wants to bring me down
Oh, I've never known what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

John Mayer - Gravity

It's weird how things seem so good one week and two weeks later, they don't.

I suppose I should be happy for the most part. I managed to finish all of my work on time and to a good enough standard that I'm confident I'll pass all four modules. I'm hoping I'll even get a 60+ for one of them.

But, like always it seems, girls always manage to bring me down. Remember I was talking about the fact that I was meeting a few girls over the Summer and that they seemed quite interested in me? I guess it was fleeting because apart from one of them, they don't really seem so interested in me anymore. Lauren still wants to, but the others aren't so interested.

Emma says she isn't so sure about meeting up. She thinks I'm too pushy and that she thinks I just want sex. The fact is though, she's probably right. I could try and convince myself and her that it's not true, but it is. I can't be arsed denying it. Sex is sex.

She seemed interested in it a few weeks ago. It wasn't just me. She even sent me a few naked pics. But she doesn't really bother talking to me now.

I'm still talking to Steph, but it's not really likely that I'll meet her any time soon. She doesn't bother talking to me when she comes online. She only talks when I message her and she doesn't really seem interested in me. She seemed really nice and was quite interested in me when I first began talking to her. I guess the novelty wore off.

And finally, Lisa. Although she's gorgeous, she has never bothered to have a proper conversation with me and has never once messaged me. Any time I message her and try to talk with her, her answers are short and allow for no followup. She never asks me anything or just randomly converses. It's no fun talking to someone if you're doing all the talking. I would love to meet her, but it's losing its appeal, regardless of how nice looking she is when she doesn't bother to talk to me.

Like I said, Lauren still likes me, which is good. When she messages me, she'll say things like "Hello gorgeous". It makes me feel good inside. Just makes me feel a bit more wanted than I do usually. I'm looking forward to meeting her once I finish Uni, although with my luck, I'm sure she'll find someone closer to her and she'll end up going out with them.

To rub salt in the wound just a little more, both Jamie and Dave now have girlfriends and they're both happy. I'm happy for them, but where's my happiness? Where's the girl who wants me? Is there really something about me that's so unattractive? I'm not saying that to sound melodramatic, I just wish I knew what was wrong with me that I'm still single, while the likes of Jamie can pick a girl up so much easier.

I guess I'll talk about something happier now that I've got the girl-related stuff out of the way. Back to Uni-related stuff.

For the last two weeks, I've been working flat out to get my Visual Research for Design project complete. I was very worried that I wouldn't get it complete because I was so far behind with it. Add to that the fact that I had very little work for my Digital Design project too and you can understand why I was worried about completing everything.

With a few nights sat up until 7 and 8am, I managed to come back and produce a workbook that now has roughly 80 pages in it instead of roughly 30.

I wanted my Visual Research project to be one that I was proud of. I worked really hard on it. I haven't produced anything that I'm proud of so far in Uni, but this project was different. I put a lot of effort into it and it paid off.

When I took all of the work into Uni to show Martin, my tutor, he was shocked at how much I'd produced in such a short time when the last time he had seen me, I had very little. "You've been busy", he said.

After commenting on a few things he thought I could do to improve what I'd created, he said I'd have no trouble passing the module. I was happy.

Because my artwork opens up to 10 metres wide, it meant that I had to go to the printers to get it all printed. If I were to print it on my A4 printer, I'd need to stick 65 pages together width-ways. By going to the printers and getting it printed on A1 instead, it meant that I only needed 7. However, an A1 print cost �10.

I was in two minds about whether to fork out �70 for a project that doesn't actually affect my degree. I knew I could pass the module regardless of me getting it printed on A1. I really wanted this project to be special though, as I said. I ended up spending �70 to get it printed.

Once all the artwork was printed, I began creating the book in my Digital Design lesson last week. Kevin noticed and commented on it. He said it looked very interesting and that when it was complete, it'd look good up on the wall. I would love my work up on the wall.

He gave me some formative feedback on my Digital Design project. I was fully prepared for him saying I was not going to get the required 40% to pass. Instead, he said he'd passed me. I was very surprised. For Digital Design, I need roughly 60 pages of work and I have roughly 30 so you can understand why I thought he'd fail me.

He did however, talk to me about my hesitation to take risks when designing, which is sometimes true. However in this case, it was just that I was far too lazy.

I went back to creating the Visual Research book and towards the end of it, I realised something stupid. I had made a huge mistake. I had accidentally designed the final page so that it was stuck face down instead of face up. I couldn't believe I had done it. It was such a stupid mistake to make. Basically, what it meant was that the book was now not exactly 10 metres. I sigh and came up with a way to at least make the book look right, even though it wasn't quite how I'd planned.

Last Friday, I had my first set of deadlines. I had to submit my flash website and a PDF of my Digital Design artwork. Technically, the flash website is mostly Ben's creation, but it was me who came up with the ship design and site design. He just followed my orders. I know the site would have looked better if I had been repsonsible for creating it by myself, but it doesn't matter now.

After submitting my work, me, Tom and Ilya went to play pool. Amazingly, I managed to pot the black off the break. I was shocked. We decided a long time ago that if anyone was ever to pot the black off the break, they'd win the game. We always thought no one would ever do it. When it went in, I put my hands over my face. "Oh no!", I said in dismay, thinking I'd lost, only to realise that I'd just made the best break of all 200+ games I'd played. It was awesome.

I then proceeded to win Ilya in another game. Ilya always beats me. It was a good day for me and pool. Tom won me in the next two games, but it was still a good day for me. The current score between me and Tom is 18-6. I somehow have to come back and quick!

After that, I said goodbye to him and headed home, only to realise that the previous day, I had spent another �10 on getting another A1 print and I needed to pick it up. However, they had told me to wait until 12pm and it was only 11am so I went to find Tom and Ilya and just sat watching YouTube videos for a while and helped them with their work.

At about 12:30pm, I went to pick my artwork up and they said that it only cost �5 instead of �10, which is always good to hear.

From here, I went home and then proceeded to make the rest of my Visual Research book which took roughly two hours. When I was finished, I was surprised with myself at how good I'd actually made the book look. I was very pleased with it. I took lots photos, which you'll be able to see in a few days on The Work Of.

After a short break, I got on with creating my other book for Digital Design. This one only took an hour or so, but when it was done it looked good and I'm fairly confident that it'll get a decent mark.

On Saturday, my Mum text me to tell me that she and Gary would be over the following day to pick up some of my stuff. I had asked them to because I have a fair amount of stuff that won't all fit in the car in one go.

Later on, I went to see Spiderman 3. I went on my own. I don't have anyone to do fun things with like that. Yes, Tom is my mate, but that's it. I have no other mates so I just end up doing things on my own or sitting here in front of this computer. It sucks, but I've just become so used to it now.

It thought the film was ok, but nothing special. I was happy I had gone and seen it though because it got me out of this room.

When I came out of the cinema, it was 9:30pm. Everyone was out in town, having a good time and though I had no one to go out with, thought about just going for a drink anyway. I didn't in the end. I knew I'd just sit there in some bar, wondering what the hell I was doing.

The next day, I met my Mum and Gary in a pub and we had a meal together. It feels like ages since I've seen them, but it's only been roughly five weeks.

My Mum told me that Laura is moving back out in about six weeks time and moving to Lancaster with Chris. She's getting a job there and so is he. We also talked about various other things but mostly just random conversation.

We talked about the pound to dollar exchange rate and how you can make a lot of money if you buy right. Currently, you can get nearly $2 for �1, which is very good. It's not quite there yet though. It's at $1.91. However, in a year or so, Gary thinks that that rate will go down. If you were to buy �500 worth of dollars and then sell those dollars in a year or so from now when the exchange rate is at $1.70, you'd make roughly �350. �350 on top of your �500. That's not bad at all.

I'd really like to do it and I'm keeping an eye on the exchange rate. Once it goes over $1.95, I'm going to withdraw �500 of my money and get it changed into dollars. I'll have to wait a year to get any kind of return on it, but it'll be worth it.

When I go out for a meal, I eat big. Both Gary and my Mum are always shocked at how much I eat. In particular, I love cake. On the menu was chocolate fudge cake, which I love. Gary suggested I get a giant one and I said that you can't have it giant sized. He called one of the guys over who was serving and asked him if I could have a giant piece of cake. The guy said probably and that he'd ask the chef.

About ten minutes later, one of the servers came over with a huge dish and lots of cake. I ate it all. It was...satisfying. Very nice indeed.

After that, my Mum stayed in the pub while me and Gary went to put my stuff in the car. I said goodbye to her and that I'd see her in a week or two. After the stuff was in the car, I said goodbye to Gary and returned to my room to finish off some work.

Today, I went to Uni to meet Ben and Tom in my website group. I don't know why I bothered, really. The idea was to finalise what we're going to say in front of SEVENTY PEOPLE tomorrow. I can't believe I have to speak in front of that many people.

Roughly two weeks ago, I began writing what I wanted to say and memorising it too. I've been talking to myself for the past week, trying to get it perfect. I want to sound professional and not have to read what I want to say off a piece of paper.

I thought that today, I'd get a chance to maybe rehearse how I sounded to them and give them a chance to present our site to me too. You know, give them a chance to come up with something to say. They weren't really bothered, though. We ended up being there for 30 minutes and then they left. It wasn't worth getting out of bed for.

Even though the thought of speaking to seventy people tomorrow is daunting, I'm actually looking forward to it too. Because I've planned out everything that I want to say and I'm fairly confident I can say it all without any mistakes, I think I can walk into the lecture theatre tomorrow, say what I have to say and walk off feeling good. It's going to be an interesting experience.

Tomorrow is my final deadline for everything. I managed to get everything complete that I needed to last night though so I'm totally finished now. I have to hand everything in at 9am and then we have to do the presentation at 11:30am. The downside is that we're going to be there until 4:30pm because everyone has to present. After that, I'm officially free for the Summer.

It'll be nice to finally be out of this room once and for all. It'll be nice to finally not have to put up with a permanently messy kitchen, crazy Ahmit and housemates that I can't even have a proper conversation with because they don't speak good English.

Of course as soon as I'm home, I'm going to be bored. There's nothing to do there except what I do here - Sit in front of this computer. I need something more exciting. I need to see my friends more often. I need to find a nice girl. I need to live.

But, for now, wish me luck for tomorrow and hope that I don't cock my script up.