I recieved a letter on Friday from MIND. John (the guy who was dealing with my case) had contacted DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) and they told him that there had been a problem with my case because it wasn't moved to the Southport office like all the other files were. He said that the problems were now sorted, they had overturned the decision to discontinue my benefits and that they're getting a payment out to me on Tuesday. He also said that I'd be entitled to all of the back pay since February.

Very happy about that. At last, I will have some money!

Yesterday, I was supposed to be going to a party to sell keyrings with Liam. It was his cousin Danielle's birthday. There was going to be 200 people there. I was looking forward to it so much. It was the first time I could of gotten out of the house and actually had some fun in a long time. But no, he decided to tear my hopes down and decide to cancel going, meaning I couldn't go either. It pissed me off so damn much. I'd been excited about it for a week or two and I thought nothing could go wrong. Guess I was wrong. I was so disappointed. I could of had the chance to be around new people. I could of had the chance to socialise a bit. Laugh. Smile. But no. So I got to stay in my bedroom once more. I feel alone.

My MSN list is becoming smaller and smaller. It's got more people on it, but it's becoming smaller. I feel as if I have less close friends now. Three or four at most, when I have a contact list of 40. I don't feel as if those three or four people consider me a close friend either. I guess it's hard to consider a pop-up name a close friend though to those who have friends who they can actually talk to without the use of a computer. I feel alone.

I doubt my life is going to get any better any time soon. Not in the way I want it to. And how do I want it to? A girlfriend. I don't care what you say about 'you'll find someone' and 'you'll appreciate it more when you do find someone'. Fuck that. I'd appreciate it now, so damn much. It'd make me feel so much happier to have someone to love. But it's not going to happen any time soon. I feel alone.