Before going to either of those appointments, I plan to go to town to exchange a game and also try and get the courage to actually go in the travel agent's this time. However, it's now 12:20pm, my MIND appointment is at 2pm and it takes 30 minutes to get to town and about the same getting to the hospital. This doesn't leave much time so perhaps I might not go to town at all.
I did set my alarm for 11am this morning so I'd have enough time to go where I needed to go, but I didn't go to bed till 5am this morning and I woke up at 8:30am because my body decided that was an excellent time to make me go the loo. After that I couldn't get to sleep so I've been laying there from 8:30am till 11am. Then I reset the alarm to 11:30 so I could maybe get a little bit of sleep, no luck though. So it's not looking good for town.
In other news, my mum is getting pretty pissed off with me. She is frustrated. She thinks i'm lazy. That I don't do anything that doesn't concern me. Not true. Not true damnit. What she really doesn't take into account, nor is she one to reason with about it, is that all this is due to my stupid sleeping patterns. If i'm awake all night, I can hardly be awake all day as well and help out. When I am awake of a day and my sleeping patterns are fairly normal, even then my mood is still crap. However, when i'm up at the right times and my mood is a bit higher, then I am more than willing to do as she asks. She doesn't realise that though. I doubt she ever will, no matter how many times I've told her in the past. She just doesn't get it, so has a go at me on frequent occasions, like last night.
I'm used to it now. I just let her say what she wants to say. I don't answer her back. The things I want to say to her don't really go in her head.
In 20 years time, when perhaps I have a proper life, what will my relationship with my mum be like then? will there be a relationship at all? Or will we have grown so far apart that we no longer speak to each other? I can easily see it happening, sadly.
My eyes are hurting due to lack of sleep. Sleep is the only thing i'm good at. Even then, my body seems content on not letting me doing it, even when I need to.
