She said that she thinks I'm going back to where I was a year ago, and in a way, I guess I am, ie, staying in the house almost 24/7. However, even though i'm now in college, something hasn't changed from when I wasn't - the fact that I still don't have any real friends. I am friendless.
So, my mum suggested that perhaps a job would help. I asked her what kind of job, and she said she didn't know and neither do I. She asked if she could get me into a graphic design job, would I get up every morning and actually go. I told her that if I liked it and it was worth me going, then yeah, I would. I doubt that many graphic design jobs can be easily accquired though, since most people usually are freelance and don't require an assistant.
It's getting more and more likely that I won't be in college by the end of the year. This makes me quite frustrated, because I know if I were to hold out until the end of the course, I could get a qualification from it. Do I really want to be bored for the next 18 months, though?
I want to live for now, not in 18 months. I've already had 18 years of boredom.
A nice guy named Ferris emailed me (thanks), and asked if the college do the course as a night course, but they don't.
My mum asked me what kind of job later on and I said I don't know. "A binman", she joked. I told her I'd gladly be a binman if it got me socialising and I honestly would. I don't care about the pay, or what the job is really as long as there are people around my age who are intelligent but apparantly that's hard to find in Liverpool.
I just want some friends.
More bad news; I won't be seeing Claire tomorrow because I have no money to go :(. This makes me very annoyed and sad because I look forward to the weekends and seeing her. Even more annoying is the fact that the problem is because of money. Money shouldn't be a factor in seeing the one you love, it just shouldn't. It's not fair.
I'll have enough by next weekend, though and so hopefully I can go down then, but that is so far away.
It's a bittersweet symphony that's life...
1:09am
