My mum does though.
She's ready for another blowout.
I woke up at 6:30pm, and soon after, went downstairs and said hello to her. This in itself was my way of trying to get things back to normal with her. You know, just being amicable.
I didn't get a hi back though. Instead, I got "Neil, we need to talk", in her usual pissed off voice. Considering I'd just got up, it's not really the thing you want to hear, but, I tried to percivere.
"Why, what's up?", I asked her.
Didn't answer me though.
She went back out into the garden for something. I made a drink and quickly exited the scene, because I really didn't want to be involved in another of these..these..'things', she does every so often. I scuttled back up the stairs to my room. I guess in a way you could say it was to hide.
Hiding from my other mother. Sounds weird that doesn't it? True though.
So I've been sitting in my room all night, watching TV. I couldn't really be bothered with the PC, although Laura was on it from 7pm till 9pm anyway. It's coming up to half ten now and I've yet to eat, but i'm afraid to go downstairs, because I know she'll probably take the oppurtunity to start at me and I don't feel like partaking in it all. I'd rather starve. I'm hoping she'll go to bed in an hour or two. Hopefully I can wait that long for food.
Somehow, i'm hoping that I can dodge this imminent offensive from her for another 10 days, because then I can take her with me to see James. I doubt I'll be able to do that though, dodge it all, I mean. I'd gladly confront her about whatever she wants to talk about, but when it never does any good, what's the point in doing so? I think she's wrapped up in this little ball of frustration - quite like me in my ball I guess.
Whether she's not willing, or just can't grasp it, the situation remains that she doesn't understand who I am. What I am. I'm so very much hoping that James will be able to help out. I realise that this isn't the answer to everything, and it's not like we'll be laughing and telling each other we love each other as we walk out of the building together. I'm hoping it's a start though.
I'm too scared of my own mum to go and eat. How wrong.
