Woke up this morning at around 11:30am and a few times before then. I swear my body is taking over from my mind. Felt dizzy still.
Got up, made something to eat, not before my mum had a go at me for stupid things. Small things. Things that don't make a bit of difference to things. I think neurotic is the word i'm looking for. It doesn't affect me much no more. I just shrug and get on with whatever I was doing.
Went to see James at 2:30pm. I didn't say much though. I told him about my Mood Monitor and he thought it was an excellent idea. Was very impressed. He said I should write a book. Err, yeah.
I was very quiet throughout. I didn't feel like talking much. I explained to him about how my mood was mostly -7's on that Mood Monitor lately.
He looked pretty confused once I'd told him how I'd been feeling lately. My numbness and such. I don't blame him. By the time I was ready to go, he looked just as helpless as I felt. He also said "Neil, I wish I could help you. I really do." Excellent sign of optimism...
I left feeling pretty crap, like I'd felt going in.
Then I realised that I'd actually spend 90 minutes in there almost, instead of 60, which means that he must of thought I needed it which is worrying because he's never done that before.
Came home, sat here, talked to Katie for a while. She's not feeling good either. Feeling numb too. Talked to Lisa. Not feeling good either. Everyone is turning into how I feel. At least when people around me are happy I have something to look up to but if everyone is at my level it doesn't work.
Things suck. Things really really suck.
6:59pm